Am I being stupid?

[Giggi]

Smiling, no matter what you decide to do, good luck to you. I hope that you find the peace of mind that you deserve.

 

[scuba_chick55]

That really sucks and I have no advice but I'm sorry that you are unhappy.

 

[Firediver]

Good luck to you and your decision. Look out for #1.. You need to be happy otherwise each day in life will just seem to drag on, and be worth nothing..........

 

[smiling]

GYou need to be happy otherwise each day in life will just seem to drag on, and be worth nothing..........

Firediver, that is so very right - already it seemed to be that way.......

mrobinson - never thought of it that way, heard of the book, but shifted its application from dating to this - wow!

Raya - I do need some time to focus on me - especially being in the mental-health field where theres' tons of burnout already - you did hit the nail on the head a bit there also - thank you!

Each of you has given me some great advice - I REALLY appreciate it! I've done some soul-searching and made some decisions and ALREADY the weight has begun to lift off my shoulders and possibilities associated with being independent are promising.......... It has also made me realize what such a pervasive impact he has had on just about each facet of my life - changing what I would do without his presence in almost every decision. I really DID try my best to merge into the marriage with him.....but his inflexibility on those critical issues slowly eroded what we had. It is nice to think of what I can do once I move on.

Thank you guys and gals so much!!!!!!!!!! I'll keep you posted on this thread.

 

[smiling]

Update.........

Moved out and got own place to stay in, stayed busy with work and making improvements on place, did a few counseling sessions (some alone and some with him), found quite a few friends/support I didn't think I had previously - particularly from acquaintances that showed unexpected support, still diving and having fun when I can..........

Some concessions were made, but not really enough for me to return and be happy...........some things just don't change. I think that I accommodated too much for too long and simply broke my emotional connection when one too many straws fell into the plate. I think I should have put my foot down and stood up for what I felt was right MUCH sooner than I did - maybe things would have been different if I had.........

It HAS been expensive..........but it has been OK also. I've learned a lot and learned to accept support and friendship when its given and not be so independent.....I think its been good for me....I've grown a lot and learned that I can be fine on my own.

Thanks again for all your help and ideas and support! You all were very helpful to me making a decision that was right for me

 

[coralcuts]

am not one for public forums but here goes. Have had a date with a diver from another state who seems to be compatible in terms of diving styles and interests. problem is he seems still hung up on old girlfriends. on one hand he wants me to move out there but yet says he can't commit. so I feel rather in between. I am ok with waiting for him to make up his mind but maybe I am making myself too available. So just shoot me. aarrgghh! I don't think I'm the one that's nuts here. Finding a partner/mate that is compatible underwater seems so hard, at times I feel like giving up.

 

[Li'l38]

Some concessions were made, but not really enough for me to return and be happy...........some things just don't change. I think that I accommodated too much for too long and simply broke my emotional connection when one too many straws fell into the plate. I think I should have put my foot down and stood up for what I felt was right MUCH sooner than I did - maybe things would have been different if I had.....

Only difference I see is you'd be where you are now- sooner. Glad to hear that he went to some counseling with you. You seem happier and satisfied with the decision. Sometimes it just takes all you have to know you did all you could. No regrets- some people have different definitions of life. Glad you finally realized it instead of waiting any longer! Life is too short to live it unhappily. Make the most of it- figure out who you are and what you want for yourself. You're lucky, some don't have the choice to go because financially, or otherwise, it just becomes impossible. Now......the sky's the limit!!!! (And there's lots of divers looking for a buddy) Best of luck to you.

 

[Li'l38]

am not one for public forums but here goes. Have had a date with a diver from another state who seems to be compatible in terms of diving styles and interests. problem is he seems still hung up on old girlfriends. on one hand he wants me to move out there but yet says he can't commit. so I feel rather in between. I am ok with waiting for him to make up his mind but maybe I am making myself too available. So just shoot me. aarrgghh! I don't think I'm the one that's nuts here. Finding a partner/mate that is compatible underwater seems so hard, at times I feel like giving up.

This should probably be a new thread.....Not sure how far it is but, DON"T MOVE THERE!!! Listen to your instincts. If you want commitment and he's already said he can't commit, forget it! And yes, you're making yourself too available if you move out there without knowing what you're in for. If he seems hung up on old GF, then he might be. Sounds like you're ready to "dive in" without gearing up!! edit:BTW- Don't give up altogether- someone else will come along.

 

[coralcuts]

This should probably be a new thread.....Not sure how far it is but, DON"T MOVE THERE!!! Listen to your instincts. If you want commitment and he's already said he can't commit, forget it! And yes, you're making yourself too available if you move out there without knowing what you're in for. If he seems hung up on old GF, then he might be. Sounds like you're ready to "dive in" without gearing up!!

I would never move there if there wasn't some established connection and ring involved, but I think I am torturing myself wondering and waiting. I had a truly wonderful guy who is still a friend but I wasn't in love with him and at times I am still kicking myself for breaking up. I need more than just friendship. and this probably should be a new thread, sorry for interupting. just wanted a consensus. I want someione underwater as well as on land that casn finish my sentances without use of slate and has a sac similar( but probably unrealistic) and same underwater goals. ah the dreamer in me.

 

[MaxBottomtime]

I would never move there if there wasn't some established connection and ring involved, but I think I am torturing myself wondering and waiting. I had a truly wonderful guy who is still a friend but I wasn't in love with him and at times I am still kicking myself for breaking up.

Well, if you ever change your mind... :07: