Am I being stupid?

[ScubaFreak]

While I can appreciate that discussing this with fellow divers as you are doing here might be helping you, I can't help asking myself - don't you have any close personal friends that you could also talk it over with?

Kim, I must admit, at times theres no better advice than the kind you get from complete strangers- totally unbiased, will tell you exactly what they think, I think anonymous advice is great!

Smiling, I hope it all works out the way you want. It sounds unfortunate, that he doesn't have the passion that you do for sports and activities, but its great that you're not letting him stop you doing what you want to do.

Good luck

Scubafreak

 

[MissyP]

take what you can get

ouch... thats harsh... :mad1:

 

[TwoTanks]

Without airing my own laundry on a public forum, I'll just say, sometimes it's best just to move on, life is too short, especially if he's imovable on important issues to you. I don't see counseling changing his mind on your main issues. We are who we are, love does not counquer all, may sound cynical, but in my experience true. People grow apart especiailly when married young. You don't want to wake up ten years from now and still be unhappy, and realize you just wasted another decade, but your the only one who knows if it can be reonciled.

This is the best advice I have seen. Everyone deserves to be happy. You need to decide if he will change enough to make you truly happy, if not then, in your situation, since there are no kids, I think that you should move on.

Try to see yourself in another 15 years with, and without him.

TT

 

[Maya]

The realm of possibility is endless, and you have the ability (through choice) to create your life the way you want it to be. You are young, you are obviously not satisfied, you are financially independent and able to support yourself, there are no children....to me it's a question of how do you choose to live your life? What is important to you? How willing are you to go outside your comfort zone and take risks? Only you can answer these questions. I know what I would do, but I am not you, so I will not even go there with that kind of advice. I will advise to do some serious thinking and listening to your feelings.....then trust yourself. I wish you well and the confidence to make the decision that is right for you.

 

[raya]

You are still young, its very important that you learn who you are..By this I mean, independently, you need some time for you. I guarentee if you make this break, walk out that door a huge weight will lift off your shoulders,and you yourself will feel like a brand new person. You want to have someone that is truly madly deeply head over heels in love with you. Who wants to give you everything, share and create everythng with you.Your husband..from what I have read..doesn´t he is a stranger.Go out and break free from this, it will beb the best for the both of you.

 

[Kim]

The realm of possibility is endless, and you have the ability (through choice) to create your life the way you want it to be. You are young, you are obviously not satisfied, you are financially independent and able to support yourself, there are no children....to me it's a question of how do you choose to live your life? What is important to you? How willing are you to go outside your comfort zone and take risks? Only you can answer these questions. I know what I would do, but I am not you, so I will not even go there with that kind of advice. I will advise to do some serious thinking and listening to your feelings.....then trust yourself. I wish you well and the confidence to make the decision that is right for you.

I think that if you are going to listen to any one persons advice Maya has it nailed to a tee.

 

[michaelp68]

You are not stupid for recognizing you are unhappy and wanting to improve your life. I think you know that.

A successful marriage involves work from both partners. It sounds like your husband does not seem to be flexible and willing to work with you to improve things.

I wish you luck and strength in dealing with this.

Michael

 

[FreeFloat]

I know my Ex and I are better off splitting and yet we still remain very good friends.

That sounds like me. For the last couple of years of my 5-year relationship, it was evident that my (now-Ex) husband and I shared no interests at all... we weren't trying to inhibit each others' enjoyment of things, just had nothing in common..... and eventually I said to him, "Yuo know, we have nothing in common and when you said a while ago we might be happier on our own... I think you may be right."

To this day we're still very good friends and stay in touch. Sometimes he invites me over for visits and I've been known to take him out for coffee or dinner sometimes.

 

[Goose75]

I didn't read all 5 pages so I may be repeating others comments. 15 years is a long time to walk away from. I'd find a good conselor who can help the two of you get down to the root of how each of you feel. From there you can both decide what you want.

 

[mrobinson]

Smiling - thank you for sharing. Since this is a soul decision, I would suggest a book - "He's just no that into you." The guy who wrote it has been on Oprah for a couple of shows. I think in the end, you'll realize things about yourself and hopefully have the strength to make the right decision. Good luck - we'll back either decision you make.