Am I being stupid?

[coralcuts]

Well I spent the day diving at casino point with 4 students/friends and was met by many many more there. It always helps to have friends. It makes me wonder at just how many people in the diving community I know out here and am friends with. At least I am not lonely nor alone if I don't choose to be.Tomorrow is another day.

 

[Li'l38]

... I am not lonely nor alone if I don't choose to be.Tomorrow is another day.

Ya hit the nail on the head there- go girl! OOOOO and you're just getting started...

 

[coralcuts]

Ya hit the nail on the head there- go girl! OOOOO and you're just getting started...

Yeah funny how make ourselves dependent on others rather than reliant which is a world of difference. which is one thing at 150 on a wreck, another at sea level. Guess I am still hurt, upset and dissapointed by the possibilities that might have been.

 

[Randy43068]

It seems to me that you'd like a partner who can share the experience of life with you.
Not an unreasonable expectation if you ask me.

Randy

Got an attentive husband who loves to cook, and loves going out for drinks, and has his own bank account/financially stable, etc. Started dating when we were young (I was under 20) and now together for 15 years. No kids. No cheating either. I'm Not happy though..........was earlier, but things have changed in the past couple of years.

1) Hobbies that I choose (sporty), he wants no part of - his, of course, drinking and vacationing (think hotel and remote control), are encouraged.

2) Prenupitual agreement. Hate that we share nothing - even in death - what's mine is mine, what's his is his and never the two shall meet. Expenses are 50/50 to the ninth degree - even though he makes twice what I do! This is increasingly bothering me.......distant relatives will get more than me or my familiy always - no matter if we're together 10 years or 60 years......

3) Separate families - my families challenges are entirely mine, his are entirely his - good and bad.

I'm professional and financially stable myself. He's made it fully clear that I'll never be part of his family or join in any way financially - our kids - if we ever had any - would get it all....BTW - we both are fairly attractive physically. I've gotten so that I could care less about you know what - but he's threatened divorce if that doesn't change soon............He'd do counseling, but won't budge on the financial matters or participate in more sporty hobbies ..............

Am I being stupid to want and expect more out of life and my husband?

 

[Randy43068]

LoL, I love people's sarcasm. Cracks me up.

that's what it's for.

 

[MaxBottomtime]

Guess I am still hurt, upset and dissapointed by the possibilities that might have been.

I know just how you feel.

 

[coralcuts]

I know just how you feel.

what a apir we make Phil

 

[MaxBottomtime]

what a pair we make Phil

And made.

 

[coralcuts]

And made.

yes dear.

 

[fsudiver]

Hey Smiling, it sounds like you did the healthy thing for you. If there is one thing I have learned from staying in a relationship where I wasn't happy, it is that it is better to be alone than to settle. You started dating this guy when you were so young. You really need to get to know yourself better before you can have a truly healthy relationship. I wish you all the best! Please keep us posted.

Update.........

Moved out and got own place to stay in, stayed busy with work and making improvements on place, did a few counseling sessions (some alone and some with him), found quite a few friends/support I didn't think I had previously - particularly from acquaintances that showed unexpected support, still diving and having fun when I can..........

Some concessions were made, but not really enough for me to return and be happy...........some things just don't change. I think that I accommodated too much for too long and simply broke my emotional connection when one too many straws fell into the plate. I think I should have put my foot down and stood up for what I felt was right MUCH sooner than I did - maybe things would have been different if I had.........

It HAS been expensive..........but it has been OK also. I've learned a lot and learned to accept support and friendship when its given and not be so independent.....I think its been good for me....I've grown a lot and learned that I can be fine on my own.

Thanks again for all your help and ideas and support! You all were very helpful to me making a decision that was right for me