Am I being a wimp about these dive plans, or is this how you become a better diver?

[Celt]

( One of them is totally fine, and I'm already looking forward to it.

Dive 2 is a wreck dive, but the kind you swim around and look at, not the kind you go into.

Dive 3, it looked like an overhead environment to me. I expressed that and he replied that it wasn't a "real" one, because there were openings in the ceiling that led to open water, and that you can see the entrance and exit to the space the whole time you're inside.) and she can’t say where she’s going or the operator she’s diving with.
How are people supposed to give sound advice with that information?
And it was all the husbands fault. He got a right bashing with no chance to defend himself.

 

[Lorenzoid]

How are people supposed to give sound advice with that information?
And it was all the husbands fault. He got a right bashing with no chance to defend himself.

Sure, but people are trying to give the best advice they can, given that they have incomplete information. So? This isn't much different from many other questions asked here, where the details come out slowly or not at all. Or the OP feels they have given enough information and gotten enough replies.

As far as the husband, I know a few people here interpreted what the OP said as that the husband is pressuring or trying to persuade the OP. We don't know exactly how the conversations went. We don't have enough information to make judgments like that.

 

[Celt]

Sure, but people are trying to give the best advice they can, given that they have incomplete information. So? This isn't much different from many other questions asked here, where the details come out slowly or not at all. Or the OP feels they have given enough information and gotten enough replies.

As far as the husband, I know a few people here interpreted what the OP said as that the husband is pressuring or trying to persuade the OP. We don't know exactly how the conversations went. We don't have enough information to make judgments like that.

Like someone else said she should contact the operator, if they don't address her concerns she can cancel and take her business somewhere else

 

[kaylee_ann]

Hi folks,

Long-time reader, first-time poster. I hope this is the appropriate forum for posting.

I am a new diver. I was certified (OW) right before the pandemic, did 12 dives, fell in love, couldn't wait to go again. Local diving isn't a thing where I live, so once the pandemic happened my dreams of diving again were squashed temporarily.

Well, we're comfortable enough to travel again (of course, buying travelers insurance for everything in case we need to cancel) and are hoping to go out this summer. It's not a dive trip per se, but there is diving at the location and we wanted to do some!

My husband is a bit more experienced than me. He's done ~150 dives, but mostly in high school and college (so it's been a while for him). As we started making travel plans, he identified some dives he wanted to do and asked for my opinion.

One of them is totally fine, and I'm already looking forward to it.

Dive 2 is a wreck dive, but the kind you swim around and look at, not the kind you go into. Only issue - it's at 100'. I am (I believe) certified to 60' with my OW, and have not gone below 52' before.

When he showed me pictures of Dive 3, it looked like an overhead environment to me. I expressed that and he replied that it wasn't a "real" one, because there were openings in the ceiling that led to open water, and that you can see the entrance and exit to the space the whole time you're inside.

I expressed that I was not comfortable with Dives 2 and 3. The one thing they hammered into my head over and over again during my certification was to only dive within your skill and comfort level (of course "never enter an overhead environment until you've been trained" was a big one too). Given that I'm only OW, and have like a dozen dives under my belt, I do not feel that these dives are within my skill *or* comfort level. I'm happy to do three dives total (plus a refresher, which we're both doing), just not those two in particular.

His response is that this is how you become a better diver, and increase your skills and comfort. He himself only has OW, but has done dives of up to 120' and has done some cave dives ("really safe" ones, in his words). He says the classes and certifications are great, but the best way to gain experience is to just go out and do it. He thinks I'm just nervous because it's been a couple of years, and that once I'm done with my refresher dive and Dive 1, I'll want to do Dives 2 and 3 too.

He also mentioned that for both of these dives, the only certification that the shop requires is OW. So part of me is thinking that if the shop thinks these sites are okay for OW folks, then maybe my husband is right and I should give it a try. But I just can't shake how strongly the message of "don't dive beyond your skill" is hammered into my head.

Your thoughts? Happy to hear any opinions.

Wow, this is a lot.
You can take my opinion with a grain of salt as I haven't even finished OW yet, but honestly this is just a blatantly horrible idea in many ways.
If you're not comfortable, don't do it. When you're already anxious, if something goes awry, your chances of panicking and freaking out go up dramatically. Which makes it harder to get out of a bad situation. And I'm not so sure your husband would be able to calm you down enough especially when he's not expecting there to be any issues at all.
A huge thing that stood out to me was that apparently he's done cave diving before? Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but from what I've heard, cave diving is generally seen as one of the most dangerous types of diving. And its always told to new divers to never go into any type of overhead, low-light environment without special training.
I wouldn't follow your husbands advice because he obviously doesn't have the wherewithal to determine what's safe for him, never mind you.
Don't dive these sites.

 

[Blackcrusader]

Hi folks, Your thoughts? Happy to hear any opinions.

Yeah read this thread from a macho man husband who is now a DM. One of his earlier posts was how he as the husband is leading his wife on dives as well as they did their courses together.

I f*** up and I am ashamed

Since the first day I started diving, I have always said that no one but me would be responsible for my safety. I stuck to that rule even when my wife who loves playing the mermaid buddy is going too far. I dive with 4kg of lead. I struggle a bit to go down but once I reach 2m with a full tank...

scubaboard.com

 

[Blackcrusader]

I see a few additional points that were made since I last stopped by in this thread, and I think they're great:

• The dive operator is not the ultimate judge of what is safe enough; rather, it's the diver herself.
• The diver should keep in mind that the other side of the coin on every dive is being confident enough and comfortable enough to assist one's buddy in an emergency.

How many PADI OW divers with only a few dives would know what to do in an emergency? What if it is the guide that has the emergency? Recently in the news have been advanced students on dives where the instructor had become unconscious and required help. Luckily those students knew about rescue procedures.

The OP already has the good sense to think hey I am not comfortable with the suggestion from her husband to do 100ft depth dives.
She should be applauded for coming to this forum and asking for advice. She is not being a wimp she is being a thoughtful person who is concerned about not diving beyond her abilities and comfort zone.

 

[Shasta_man]

Dont make decisions about what to do based on what other people think. Who cares what they think. You're the one who any consequences affect.

12 dives. That's very little experience. Doesn't matter who trained you, skill in diving takes time in the water. Pushing yourself for the sake of pushing yourself leads to stupid decisions we read about from Dandy Don.

Could you survive these dives, certainly but yes, they trained you to listen to your head and yes do that. The conditions of the dive are irrelevant if you dont feel comfortable doing it. There aren't conditions that overrule your head. What's the rush, the ocean will be there tomorrow.

I'm surprised to see several posters here pushing a trust me dive. And yeah hubby was pushing you if your wording was accurate. It's never about how someone says the words it's about the words they used. If he is fired up about going diving why isn't he taking you on other dives so this becomes just another dive? However consider those other dives just as carefully.

Besides, if he feels so oppressed by you saying no, there`s someone on this thread begging to be his shoulder to cry on.

 

[Celt]

“A trust me dive “ I find that a very odd phrase considering every dive is a trust me dive, getting in the water in an hour and I’m 100% certain my standby will do his job. Must be hard on some who can’t trust the people around them.

 

[napDiver]

I would note. If you are not used to getting narc'ed and know your typical narc'ed limits...

If you are going to do a 100' and you are anxious or scared. When you get narc'ed you will be have those feelings 3x stronger at depth. That can be a major issue if the environment/people you are diving aren't capable of understanding this. They need to be completely capable of keeping you and themselves safe if the worst case situation occurs.

 

[Blackcrusader]

“A trust me dive “ I find that a very odd phrase considering every dive is a trust me dive, getting in the water in an hour and I’m 100% certain my standby will do his job. Must be hard on some who can’t trust the people around them.

When my son was newly certified he said he did not want to exceed 18m depth. I replied OK let's stick at 15m where you will comfortable. My son had that trust in me not to coerce him to do dives we was not comfortable with. Trust is knowing that when you are uncomfortable your dive buddy will not ignore your concerns by telling you you will get more experience from going deeper than you want. If the OP feels comfortable to dive a bit deeper after her refresher and following dive then that is up to her. If she says to herself I do not want to dive past OW 60 foot limit that is also up to her. The OP has to trust in her own feelings which are telling her do not do these dives.

I rely on myself first to sort any issue I may have on a dive if I am conscience. If I am not then I trust my dive buddies know that death is a part of life, the final frontier, and to send my wife a message I am sleeping with the fishes.