I f*** up and I am ashamed

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Dody

Contributor
Messages
917
Reaction score
506
Location
Amstelveen
# of dives
100 - 199
Since the first day I started diving, I have always said that no one but me would be responsible for my safety. I stuck to that rule even when my wife who loves playing the mermaid buddy is going too far.
I dive with 4kg of lead. I struggle a bit to go down but once I reach 2m with a full tank, it is fine. I hold my 5 m safety stop at the end of the dive with no issue however if I reach 2 meters at the end of the dive, I will surface and will not be able to go down after. Some tell me that I should dive with 5 kg but I refuse.
Yesterday, my wife and I went to a boat dive with a DM. At the end of the dive, we went into a big cave with no visibility. The briefing did not mention this cave. The DM entered, my wife entered. I was at the back and I followed even though I would not have if my wife was not in front of me. I could not see anything, could not see my DC because of the poor vis and did not see my wife. Then, I realized that I was moving up. Purging air did not do anything and I ended up stuck at the cave ceiling at 2m (I checked my DC later) with my head knocking on rocks.
Summary: I am stuck at a cave ceiling with 0 visibility, so shallow that I can't go down and I have lost sight of my wife and the DM.
To make a long story short, I used all my strength (Exhaling, down kicks and arms) to go down, in an upside down position and swallowing sea water ( I understood what wet breathing means) and went for the cave exit light. One minute afterwards, I was at the surface on my own. Ashamed becaused I did not know where my wife was. 5 minutes later, she surfaced with the DM. They had looked for me before surfacing.
I am ashamed. I should not have entered this cave. I should not have let my wife enter this cave. At the end, I was a crap buddy.
 
You definitely effed up. Did you bring up the cave with the DM after? Taking people without training into caverns/caves gets people killed. Especially when the DM has no effing clue (not talking about MX cenotes guides who have to be full cave).

Bad. Bad. Bad.

Just curious - did any of you have lights?
 
Since the first day I started diving, I have always said that no one but me would be responsible for my safety. I stuck to that rule even when my wife who loves playing the mermaid buddy is going too far.
I dive with 4kg of lead. I struggle a bit to go down but once I reach 2m with a full tank, it is fine. I hold my 5 m safety stop at the end of the dive with no issue however if I reach 2 meters at the end of the dive, I will surface and will not be able to go down after. Some tell me that I should dive with 5 kg but I refuse.
Yesterday, my wife and I went to a boat dive with a DM. At the end of the dive, we went into a big cave with no visibility. The briefing did not mention this cave. The DM entered, my wife entered. I was at the back and I followed even though I would not have if my wife was not in front of me. I could not see anything, could not see my DC because of the poor vis and did not see my wife. Then, I realized that I was moving up. Purging air did not do anything and I ended up stuck at the cave ceiling at 2m (I checked my DC later) with my head knocking on rocks.
Summary: I am stuck at a cave ceiling with 0 visibility, so shallow that I can't go down and I have lost sight of my wife and the DM.
To make a long story short, I used all my strength (Exhaling, down kicks and arms) to go down, in an upside down position and swallowing sea water ( I understood what wet breathing means) and went for the cave exit light. One minute afterwards, I was at the surface on my own. Ashamed becaused I did not know where my wife was. 5 minutes later, she surfaced with the DM. They had looked for me before surfacing.
I am ashamed. I should not have entered this cave. I should not have let my wife enter this cave. At the end, I was a crap buddy and a crap husband. I was not in control. I should have stayed in the cave and find my wife before going out.
 
Taking untrained people without the proper equipment into a cave... sounds like that DM needs to be slapped back to his senses.

Next time a situation like this arises - don't fear to grab your buddy and signaling "NO! Let's go up".

You are lucky to have escaped with no injury or worse
 
You definitely effed up. Did you bring up the cave with the DM after? Taking people without training into caverns/caves gets people killed. Especially when the DM has no effing clue (not talking about MX cenotes guides who have to be full cave).

Bad. Bad. Bad.

Just curious - did any of you have lights?
Yes, I made very clear with the DM that I was not happy. All he was telling me is that I should not have swam away without understanding that I was in a bad situation. I did not have my light. I thought that I would not need it.
 
Yes, I made very clear with the DM that I was not happy. All he was telling me is that I should not have swam away without understanding that I was in a bad situation. I did not have my light. I thought that I would not need it.

Did the DM have a light? WTF was he thinking? I’d also complain to the boat captain/charter op if this was a boat dive. Idiot DM.
 
While you already know what you did and the mistakes that were made, I guess my question would be what is the harm in adding 1 additional kg? This near miss incident should be a good indicator for it. Ultimately, what's 1 kg vs. your life? Not saying it's guaranteed to happen again, but I have seen several divers in my area struggle with holding a stop at 10-15ft and refuse to add weight.
 
you learned your lesson. so move on and you will be a better diver for it.

first i would say that you should consider just adding the extra couple of pounds. it is not a sin. and 2 extra pounds is not going to endanger anyone. people talk a lot about proper weighting, and it is true that it is very important. but there are many factors that can influence how much lead we carry.

in your case you are fine as long as you do not go as shallow as 6 or 7 feet. but then what? are you out of control for those last 6 or 7 feet when you ascend ? after a safety stop, you should ascend at the slowest rate possible. it does not sound like you could do this. so why are you so dead set on not adding the extra weight ?

what if you end up in an emergency situation and your respiration rate is elevated ? would you even be able to hold at 10 or 15 feet ?

as far as the "cave" goes.....first i would make sure you discuss this with your wife. be sure you both understand and agree that this cannot happen again.
i am not sure where you were diving, but if it was me i would be speaking with the dive shop owner to let them know exactly what happened.
but then again, if it were me, and a guide lead my wife into a situation like that, him and i would have a bit of a problem.

you are lucky you were actually still in the "cavern" zone and could still see the entrance behind you. i am glad both you and your wife were ok.
 
A good exercise is to debrief with someone ( maybe an instructor) and write down the things that contributed to your near miss then fix them - make a mental note of how bad you feel and bring it to mind next time you are tempted to do something like that again.

Your a relatively new diver maybe consider taking another course to broaden your situational awareness or ask a mature instructor to give you a 'tune up'
 
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