WARNING: Jolly Dive boat captain by name of Paul sexually harassed me

[Scuba-74]

This is a witch hint you think? Which would mean you believe this by default to be unfounded? Given a real report is many times more likely than a fake one statistically what leads you to the conclusion this is a witch hunt?

I believe this report exaggerates the gravity of situation quite a bit. I don't call this report fake, and never have. If you re-read OPs description of what happened before the dive, you'll see that she had preconceived notion towards the captain even before she was left alone with him, whatever the reason might have been. When I read something like "the boat captain seemed to be a bit sexist after hearing a few comments he made and [...] no way did I want to be stuck on board", you can't help but think that the harassment threshold for the OP is rather low. After all these comments were allegedly made in front of everyone else, including captains wife and all the passengers, how sexist could they have been?

I'm almost sure that what transpired later was greatly compounded by age- and culture differences. OPs mom, seeing that her daughter was upset, called the cops. That fact is referenced by many as the proof that the situation was serious enough. Well, if the authorities were involved, it only makes sense to take advantage of their professional, unbiased opinion of the case, doesn't it? That opinion was shared earlier. It, to me, far outweighs both other accounts, and confirms my initial reaction one hundred percent.

In my opinion, the amount of negative commentary advocating physical violence towards this guy and readiness to have his livelihood destroyed with so little evidence in hand absolutely amounts to a witch hunt.

Hypothetically, at what point in your opinion does it become acceptable to warn the broader community about a negative personal experience with a sexual predator in the community? Specifically? What proof should my daughter be asked to provide you with before she is allowed to speak? I’m all ears.

You are free to share your negative reviews of your experiences whenever you wish, while leaving the community you are sharing it with the right to make what it may out of it. The more serious the accusations you bring up, the more your account will be scrutinized, and the more evidence you will be asked to provide. I would advise against labeling anyone "sexual predator" with the amount of evidence similar to what we have in this case.

 

[Wingy]

As a female I totally disagree with the above comment.

 

[lv2dive]

Which one?

As a female I totally disagree with the above comment.

 

[vincent54]

I have followed the Nasser case and now the R Kelly case. Predators are opportunistic and well versed at weaseling out of suspicion. They are cons. It took years and 100’s of victims before authorities started to take the accusations seriously.

I can see the same problem with this Divers case. Outside observers doubting the severity of the crime

There would be no reason for a daughter diving with her dad to make up a story or exaggerate about “captains” behavior. The police probably know of this man and it will not have been his first crime.. or his last. Most likely bullshitted his way through the policeman’s interview. He was reference in a trip advisor as having a unique sense of humor. Our president has that same unique style and I think he is a sexual pervert as well. Yes I went there, because many still consider this actiin just locker room humor.

And I am thankful she came forward and will forward this info to all my dive buddies and families. I wouldn’t take a chance with this guy.

Cheers

 

[Wingy]

No Aquacat I am/was expecting to be flamed for disagreeing with you on that it takes extra courage for females to participate in scuba and other outdoor activities where you seem to see more men - that just hasn't been my experience at all. Self confidence maybe but not bravery. Your experiences may differ than mine totally no need for you to ask for your comment to be removed.

 

[Storker]

Your experiences may differ than mine

Different people have different experiences.
Different people have different personalities.
Different people have different tolerances for raunchy jokes and ditto behavior.

One person may have experienced sexual harassment and/or assault and naturally have a lower tolerance for raunchy jokes.
Another person may have avoided such experiences, and perhaps also been in an environment where rough joking is par for the course, so they might well blow off stuff which person #1 finds very disturbing. Or, even better, put the guy down properly.
It's on the person interacting with them to behave in a way which both parties are comfortable with.

With one person, I might be cracking jokes which others might find completely unacceptable, full of sexual innuendo. We may even be touching each others in ways that others find completely unacceptable.
With another person, I might have to watch my effing mouth and refrain from touching them at all, including (IMO) innocuous stuff like laying a hand on their shoulder.
With strangers, I prefer to err on the side of caution and behave as if I were attending a church meeting. At least until I get to know them and get an idea about where their comfort zone is.

I'm probably naïve, but I'm slightly amazed that some people seem completely ignorant that they should respect the person they're interacting with. Maybe they're effing boors and don't understand that they should respect other persons' boundaries. Or maybe they're just industrial-grade creeps. Unfortunately, the latter kind (of male persons; I won't call them men) is far too common.

 

[tridacna]

If you're uncomfortable doing anything in front of your family, then you should not be doing the same thing in front of anyone else.

If your wife or daughter was present, would you casually stroke that female diver on the ass...? Or proposition her aggressively?

Easy to remember.

 

[Wookie]

If you're uncomfortable doing anything in front of your family, then you should not be doing the same thing in front of anyone else.

If your wife or daughter was present, would you casually stroke that female diver on the ass...?.

Easy to remember.

An Ex-wife once told me that sex was anything you wouldn't do with another woman in front of your wife.

The rule has stood the test of time with my current and final wife.

 

[Storker]

If your wife or daughter was present, would you casually stroke that female diver on the ass...? Or proposition her aggressively?

Even I would never ever stroke another woman's butt (except for one single woman, but then we've been married for >25 years) or proposition her (except for one single woman, but ditto).

What you're describing is totally. unacceptable. behavior. Period. Full stop. Unless everyone - everyone! - involved is completely cool with it.

 

[StefinSB]

Don't think this is about a simple tap on the shoulder. Add the explicit language and even a tap on the shoulder is an assault. Look at this from a different perspective.

Imagine you are in prison and another inmate, twice your size and strength cornered you where you couldn't escape and did these things to you. Where's that pendulum now?

If you have to bring being in prison up somehow the point is missed imo.