WARNING: Jolly Dive boat captain by name of Paul sexually harassed me

[admikar]

See? what is soooo obvious to you (a thousands thanks/likes/ by the way), is more complicated than rocket surgery for way too many.

It is not that "unobvious" for some of us as you're implying, it's just that some of us choose not to take first time poster on face value. If for example, Kathy or lv2dive or wingy or any of many female members here posted that, I would take it at face value. Why? Because I can be quite sure they are not bogus profiles created to ruin someone.
I still remember a thread about a dive op making death threats, only to turn out that poster (first timer too) was an employee of competing dive op. I don't even care about the gender of poster.
Remember, my first comment was made before mod's post, explaining it further. For the record, I DO BELIEVE her.
Besides, those that are somewhat familiar with UK certainly remember idiotic situation where multiple men were charged with sexual assaults, to be thrown into mud by media, their lives disturbed to say at least, only to be found that females lied. And, even then, those females that lied faced no consequences, their identities "protected" by court. Not conductive to "trust woman at all times."
I'm sorry if this annoys you, but world is very rarely black and white.

 

[Esprise Me]

Do you have any evidence of someone pressing charges based on a tap on the shoulder? These kinds of hypothetical situations get brought up a lot, but I never seem to hear of them actually happening.

 

[Edward3c]

There’s some misunderstanding about the legislation in the U.K.

To end up on the sex offenders register all that’s required is a report registered with the authorities, no trial required.

The register is only checked if doing ‘regulated work’ i.e. with children or vulnerable adults. Because diving instructors could be with a child unsupervised therefore they need a clean report from the register. Working without one is illegal.

 

[Ana]

It is not that "unobvious" for some of us as you're implying, it's just that some of us choose not to take first time poster on face value. If for example, Kathy or lv2dive or wingy or any of many female members here posted that, I would take it at face value. Why? Because I can be quite sure they are not bogus profiles created to ruin someone.
I still remember a thread about a dive op making death threats, only to turn out that poster (first timer too) was an employee of competing dive op. I don't even care about the gender of poster.
Remember, my first comment was made before mod's post, explaining it further. For the record, I DO BELIEVE her.
Besides, those that are somewhat familiar with UK certainly remember idiotic situation where multiple men were charged with sexual assaults, to be thrown into mud by media, their lives disturbed to say at least, only to be found that females lied. And, even then, those females that lied faced no consequences, their identities "protected" by court. Not conductive to "trust woman at all times."
I'm sorry if this annoys you, but world is very rarely black and white.

I agree with many of your points.... I'm not annoyed, I'm not even suggesting the guy deserves punishment before figuring details in depth.
I also believe there should be a special place in hell reserved to women that lie in these situations because the damage they do has forever consequences for the next woman, and the next and next.

But I am extremely disgusted that fear of a young woman is compared to some tangible object. If the report was from a person that got their vehicle scratched in the parking lot while diving, somehow I doubt there would've been this many challenges to the veracity of the account.
This guy may not deserve a punishment by law, but a future young female willing to take a diving trip DESERVES to be informed about this. Then decide if she wants to take any chance with this operation or pick a different one.

There are guys here that read the report and maybe thought: "hmmm that sucks for her" didn't doubt her but moved on. That's cool, but are there some guys in that same group, that when a thread about mask spit is up.. they reply with the same comment 17 other posters already wrote? If that's the case, then I ask you, reply here too ...and voice your opinion that "That sucks" that comment doesn't accuse the offender, as much as it validates the fact that sometimes what may appear as harmless to you it is scary for women.

Maybe I'm just old and bitter that women today are still facing the same BS I had to face when I was young. I wasn't ever assaulted according to the law but dammit, it was never ending. I even had a guy tell me once I should be grateful because if I was ugly no one would bother me.

 

[tursiops]

and a personal opinion of a law enforcement officer.

What we have is hearsay, not the officer's statement.

 

[Storker]

I even had a guy tell me once I should be grateful because if I was ugly no one would bother me.

That's disgusting. Simply disgusting, and in my fantasy world the creep ought to have received a kick where it hurts the most for a person with male genitals.

I'm not embarrassed to call myself a feminist, because to me "feminism" simply means that gender never should influence interaction between people. And I have no problems acknowledging that I have female colleagues who are better at their job than I am at mine. Also when we have similar job descriptions.

My personal problem is, my experience base is - at least AFAIK - with women who haven't been on the more vulnerable side of the spectrum. I've probably said it before, but co-ed martial arts isn't for those who who have issues with bodily contact, including contact involving intimate body parts. Even if the contact is 100% asexual. So realizing that, I try my best to acknowledge and take into consideration that what I regard as benign and harmless may well be taken as inappropriate by someone with a different experience base than mine. And I 100% respect the subjective experience of a woman who feels that she's been harassed. My personal issues with that conundrum is a "me problem", not a "you problem". If a woman is disturbed by my behavior, it's on me and nobody else to change that behavior.

And yes, men have been falsely accused for harassment and what's worse. Yes, (some!) men have had their lives ruined by such false accusations. But that problem is so much less common than women truly having been harassed or even raped that just based on statistics, stories like the OP's are most probably true.

 

[Ayisha]

We don't know what this incident was. We have two written accounts contradicting each other, and a personal opinion of a law enforcement officer...

I think this is where you need to mention that police replied, and according to them the accident got blown out of proportion...

We don't have 2 written accounts of what transpired on the boat when only the OP and the captain were present. There is only 1 report from that time period, which is the OP.

Police did not reply on this forum. Someone posted what a local police officer allegedly said about a case for which that officer was not even one of the investigating officers.

I have interviewed quite a few police officers regarding our local diving fatalities and I always interview the first officer on the scene as a starting point.

 

[Mantra]

Scubaboard, this thread has made me angry.

How much energy have people put into trying to discredit/diminish/deny this young woman’s experience?

So we have her report.

Then a LOT of pointing out she could be fake/a competitor/etc.

Mods say they are in touch and she seems to line up with who she says she is.

But wait! Let’s lawyer against her. Here’s a TripAdvisor response disputing (subjectively) her experience. And don’t forget this is what a disgruntled competitor might do!

Oh here’s some evidence corroborating her story again via the fact a police report was made.

But wait!!! One of the cops not involved in the incident or report is saying her personal response may be a bit too distressed!

Ok so let’s make this a discussion about why certain types of touching are totally legit. Handshakes, amirite? Has anyone mentioned just how scary the thought of false accusations are? Won’t someone think of us poor vulnerable-to-accusations men? Let’s make that the focus shall we? That’s what this is about isn’t it?

For %#%^ sakes! What we know: something sketchy happened and this very young woman was traumatized enough to go to the police in a foreign country about it.

Everything here lines up. She was OBVIOUSLY very distressed by what took place on that boat. Is she some psycho on a hair-trigger just waiting to scream harassment who just happened to randomly blow up on this poor innocent man? NOTHING I have seen in her tone or demeanor or the actual steps she took in response, in company of family who know her, indicate that to me. That seems a very remote possibility.

If people put half the energy into supporting women when they come forward with these all-too-common-stories than they did trying to loophole them into something lesser the world would be a better place.

Yes, in a me-too world some men are afraid of the new mythical boogeyman false-accuser. But men everywhere have a responsibility to stand alongside our sisters and daughters and friends to support and enable these sorts of reports. Men are responsible, because we still hold the power, to change the culture around disclosure.

Trust but verify. In that order. It Is simple. Innocent before proven guilty? Sure. But why is your knee jerk reaction to extend that benefit to the accused and not the accuser?

Brothers, for ^}%# sake if your first instinct is to disbelieve women, CONSIDER WHY THAT MIGHT BE, and consider how you’re part of the problem.

OP, thank you. I’m sure you knew what mountains of crud would be poured onto you and you came forward anyway. I believe you. I hope you’ve spared someone else some pain in the future.

 

[kelemvor]

We don't have 2 written accounts of what transpired on the boat when only the OP and the captain were present. There is only 1 report from that time period, which is the OP.

Police did not reply on this forum. Someone posted what a local police officer allegedly said about a case for which that officer was not even one of the investigating officers.

I have interviewed quite a few police officers regarding our local diving fatalities and I always interview the first officer on the scene as a starting point.

Someone replied on Tripadvisor claiming to have been there and seen the incident first hand. It didn't sound legitimate to me, but I believe that's the second written account that @Scuba-74 was referencing.
Here's a link to it: Alleged sexual harrassment by Captain Paul of Jolly Dive - Review of Jolly Dive Center, Jolly Harbour, Antigua and Barbuda - TripAdvisor

 

[Scuba-74]

Police did not reply on this forum. Someone posted what a local police officer allegedly said about a case for which that officer was not even one of the investigating officers.

Since you are nitpicking my comment, how do you know she was not even one of the investigating officers? She sounded very well aware of the details of the case, allegedly.