If I've hired an instructor, I'd take issue with his or her delegating tasks to a divemaster. It may be permitted by agency standards, but it's BS if you ask me.
I want to differ with this. For some things in the classes, doing them with a DM is not only permitted, but quite appropriate. DMs can't evaluate skills, so the instructor HAS to do that; if you have, for example, four students, the instructor can get two through the skills and then send them off "on tour" with the DM, while he does the next two. This keeps students moving (which helps keep them from getting cold) and also doesn't bunch the group up in one area, so that the visibility continues to degrade. It's the same with the nav swim -- this is specifically permitted to be done with a DM, and again, that can be the best experience for the student, because it minimizes sitting around in the water doing nothing. At least where we teach, cold tolerance is a MAJOR issue for students, who are often diving wet, and the less wasted time in the water, the more comfortable and happier they are.
I am very sorry to read the OPs posts. I was also a diver who thought she shouldn't have passed her OW class (read my journal) but who went on to become addicted to the sport and achieve a number of advanced certifications. It takes determination AND practice, and good guidance helps a lot.
One thing I'll pass along on kicking -- I HATE the full-leg flutter kick, and I never do it. NEVER. It requires a ton of strength in the hamstrings and gluteal muscles, and it's really tiring. PLUS it's a great way to silt out the environment. What NW Grateful Diver taught me, early on, was a modified flutter: Body flat from shoulders to knees, knees bent about 45 degrees, and the kick is done from the ankles, or ankles plus a little flex-extend of the knees. (The knees stay together, and the body stays flat.) You can get the feeling of this on a bench or table. This is a much easier kick, and plenty fast for most beginner diving. It definitely beats the bicycle kick!
I concur with the recommendation to get in the pool and work on learning to swim on scuba -- getting stable and quiet, and using the fins effectively, makes life much easier. Being more comfortable with neutral buoyancy and with equipment use frees up bandwidth to notice things like losing depth -- another thing that helps with that, a lot, is a wrist gauge that your wife can look at all the time. Checking depth every few seconds is much better than having to drag up a console to do it, as far as stability goes, at least in my opinion.
I would definitely consider posting in your local subforum to ask if there is anyone with experience who would be willing to go do some simple dives with you, as well. If I hadn't hooked up with NWGD on my 20th dive, I don't know that I would be diving today. Good mentorship is priceless.
