My Wife is finally giving Scuba a try - what can I do to help her succeed?

[Micko1974]

Go easy. Don't push her in to diving any more than you already have done and don't impress your vast skills and knowledge. Let her work things out for herself at her own pace. Fanatics can be tiresome to others.

That's the perfect answer.

 

[Soloist]

Fifteen years ago my wife decided to get OW certified. Reluctantly I signed up a week later. Fast forward 1100 dives and I'm still trying to catch up. She has better trim, can gear up faster and her RMV is next to nothing. To add insult to injury, she has a "I dive like a girl try to keep up" shirt. So my advice is concentrate on keeping up.

 

[Soloist]

It occurs to.me that this question was asked in Women's Perspectives.

It would probably good to have a few more women speak up, as to how this husband can best support his wife.

I have some ideas. Does OP still want to hear them?

Stop making sense.

 

[Lorenzoid]

besides stay away and don't butt in between her and the instructor that is...

she _LOVES_ snorkeling, is very comfortable in the water and has been on the verge of taking the OW course several times only for injuries requiring surgery to interfere...

she is finally healthy and just took the SSI in pool "try Scuba" course (and loved it)

in a few weeks we are going to the Caribbean and she will be doing the PADI Discover Scuba with a dive shop I have dove with a lot and trust. down there she will get 2 boat dives with 1 on 1 instructor to diver ratio.

is there anything I can do to help her succeed other than just stay out of the way? I really want this to work out, I would love for her to fall in love with diving the way I have.

She was not yet my "dive buddy for life" at the time she decided to learn scuba, but rather we were still dating, and she thought maybe she could share my hobby. When she casually mentioned on the phone that she planned to take the OW course I replied something like, "That's great!" and not much more. We spoke and emailed a few times, and each time she mentioned what was going on with her course I replied similarly. In other words, just listening to what she had to say. (They love it when we just LISTEN, don't they?) I made a point not to offer any words of wisdom, advice, attempts to solve problems, or anything of the sort, and as far as I recall she never asked for such. In my mind, it would have been okay if she had taken the course and not enjoyed it and/or not done well. It would be NICE to share the scuba hobby, but not necessary--we have many other activities we participate in together, and she has at least one--tennis--that I don't participate in. So, I think the key was keeping my own hopes and expectations in check and just sitting back and waiting to see how it turned out for her. Well, one day we were chatting and she mentioned she had passed the course and, moreover, really enjoyed it. That was nice.

 

[baggins_69]

It occurs to.me that this question was asked in Women's Perspectives.

It would probably good to have a few more women speak up, as to how this husband can best support his wife.

I have some ideas. Does OP still want to hear them?

yes please!

 

[Scuba_Jenny]

She was not yet my "dive buddy for life" at the time she decided to learn scuba, but rather we were still dating, and she thought maybe she could share my hobby. When she casually mentioned on the phone that she planned to take the OW course I replied something like, "That's great!" and not much more. We spoke and emailed a few times, and each time she mentioned what was going on with her course I replied similarly. In other words, just listening to what she had to say. (They love it when we just LISTEN, don't they?) I made a point not to offer any words of wisdom, advice, attempts to solve problems, or anything of the sort, and as far as I recall she never asked for such. In my mind, it would have been okay if she had taken the course and not enjoyed it and/or not done well. It would be NICE to share the scuba hobby, but not necessary--we have many other activities we participate in together, and she has at least one--tennis--that I don't participate in. So, I think the key was keeping my own hopes and expectations in check and just sitting back and waiting to see how it turned out for her. Well, one day we were chatting and she mentioned she had passed the course and, moreover, really enjoyed it. That was nice.

Worth a repeat..
(They love it when we just LISTEN, don't they?)

translate: SHUT UP!!!!! We don't want your advice, your problem solving skills, or anything else. Just listen.

 

[Boarderguy]

Worth a repeat..
(They love it when we just LISTEN, don't they?)

translate: SHUT UP!!!!! We don't want your advice, your problem solving skills, or anything else. Just listen.

That's what we're good at!

 

[johndiver999]

I think.. with all those physical challenges that she has, the best way to support her is to encourage her to stay active and exercise so she can continue to dive and enjoy it safely.

 

[Soloist]

Fifteen years ago my wife decided to get OW certified. Reluctantly I signed up a week later. Fast forward 1100 dives and I'm still trying to catch up. She has better trim, can gear up faster and her RMV is next to nothing. To add insult to injury, she has a "I dive like a girl try to keep up" shirt. So my advice is concentrate on keeping up.

Although everything I stated above is true, my wife is convinced my praising of her diving prowess was just an attempt to get laid. Maybe my post should be moved to the "Men's Perspective" Forum.

 

[oya]

I apologize that I haven't gone through the thread and read it all, so I am sure I am repeating this advice because there are a lot of smart people who give good advice here. But it bears repeating:

What to give her? Space. Lots of it. Let her find her love for diving on her own (or not and that's OK) and then you can do it together.

As an instructor who has worked with a LOT of teams with pre-existing relationships I can tell you with 100% certainty this is the single most valuable thing you can do to help her become a safe diver who loves the sport. Space.