Your Gear, Your Dive, Your Responsibility

[JillGadget]

Is there an age group you could place these women in? Im in my EARLY 40's :no and grant it a newbie. Took the class with my husband and only have about 7 dives under our belt but I pride myself in hooking up my equipment. He helps me strap in my tank when the strap is really tight, but we do together; and helps push me off the seat (boat dives) when I am trying to stand on a wobbly boat... but we do things to-geth-er! Likewise I'll defog his mask or get his fins (whatever) for him. I think an assist is nice but don't insult me with "you can't do that - Im the man" crap. Im lucky not to have that. I wonder if that is the man as much as it is the woman's fault? What an awesome sport to share together but still have autonomy underwater. Addicted to scuba - guess there are worse things to be addicted to. Just an opinion.
Jill

 

[TSandM]

I'll admit to the tendency to defer . . . Kirk is so much BETTER than I am at the underwater stuff that I tend to want to make him shoulder more of the load. Bless his heart, he won't let me do it. He makes me lead, and makes sure on some of the dives I do stuff I don't want to do, like calling the deco, or shooting the bag.

Dependency is a two-way street. It takes somebody who wants to lean, and somebody who's willing to be leaned on. I think some of us need to keep a weather eye on where we try to get somebody else to do the hard stuff, and I think the MEN who dive with dependent women need to draw a line in the sand and say politely, "No, I'm sorry, it's YOUR turn to . . . "

 

[tstormdiver]

I was the buddy of the OOA diver in the first post. I am single & have no SO, so I have to carry & set up all of my equipment every time. IT's good practice, but unfortunately this has led to me checking my own gear, but not my buddy's. This should be done before every dive, except for, maybe, a solo diver, but I'm not going into that. It was definately taught to me during OW, but I didn't see the value in it. There was no excuse for my part in failing to do the buddy check with her. As the more experienced diver, I should have initiated it. I became lax in the practice in that because the group I normally dive with was lax with it (still there is no excuse). My buddy only had 1 or 2 dives under her belt out of her OW class. About that time, she found out she was pregnant & had to refrain from diving. During her pregnancy, she moved here to KY with her husband & so was not familiar with the colder water conditions present, This was the first oppertunity she had to dive since the baby was born. I would say, because she'd been out of diving for a while & was a fresh beginner, she hadn't had time to make the inspections a habit. I don't think she even thought about checking her own gear. There were several mistakes made before & during that dive on several fronts. As I stated in that post, I certainly learned my lesson & learned the value of the inspections. I WILL do buddy inspections before every dive from here on out. I will still carry, set up & check my own gear, but i'll also checkout my buddy. Another set of eyes is always better, to catch potential problems.

 

[jpcpat]

I'll help any dive buddy carry, but when it comes to assembling, gear, now way. It's your butt on the line, YOU make sure.

 

[TxHockeyGuy]

I've been on a boat before where a couple didn't know how to assemble their own gear. Apparently this was done for them in their OW (at least they claimed). After they had asked me a question I was busy explaining to the couple how to put their gear together when a DM came by. The couple actually stopped me and wanted the DM to put their gear togther. The DM told them no, you need to learn how to do this and watched me explain to them how to put together their equipment. Now that is a great DM. I will say that after I had them check each others gear I also checked it as did the DM. They weren't happy with me or the DM and I don't care, they are safer (albeit from what I saw not much) divers for what I did. Obviously the DM kept a close eye on both of them that trip.

I've also had a few OW students ask me about problems since I just happened to be nearby. I want to state for the record that I was in no way trying to assist with a class on my own, that's not in my nature. I just happen to dive a quarry that is very popular with OW classes and short on space so we tend to be in close quarters. I always try to look in the direction of their instructor before helping them out as I do not want to undermine what they are doing. Everytime I have done so it has been obvious to me they were indidating that it was OK to help them out. It has never been anything too major, it is almost always that they have the tank facing backwards and they know something isn't right but aren't sure what. In these situations I try to play it a little dumb and guide the OW student in the direction of the solution letting them figure it out for themselves. After all if I just give them the answer to their problem they don't learn anything. I've even had an OW instructor come over to me and thank me for the way I handled their question.

I will also admit when I have a dive buddy who is obviously fresh out of OW (and I by no means consider myself experienced) I will generally intentionally do something wrong with my kit to see if they catch it. I have honestly been surprised that everytime I have done so it has been caught. The buddies that pay attention to such detail are the buddies I'd much rather prefer to dive with. I don't care how fast they such down their air, after all air is cheap.

 

[Jim Lapenta]

I have seen all of the situations from hubby doing everything for wife to wife doing everything for hubby. It really is a 2 way street. I have seen some very dominant females that either do everything for themselves and husband or make the husband do everything for them. I love these women. First order of business is to seperate the couples. We don't do this every time. There are many who seem to be on equal footing and actually share the load. I have also seen role reversals. One couple started out with the man trying to take charge of the gear set up, putting things on, etc. Until we hit the water. Then the lady showed a really innate sense of direction, and buoyancy control. To the point where she was correcting hubby's use of his inflator. As a DM I do admit to tending to watch certain students to a greater degree. Kids, older students, nervous females and males, and the hotdogs who think they got it all down. I will assist anyone with tasks if they ask to a point. Then it becomes an issue of how much is too much. I have seen instructors, DM's, and other divers fall all over themselves to help a good looking woman. Some actually eat up the attention. Others become uncomfortable and others actually offended. When I'm assisting with a class I will not help a student assemble their gear after the first dive unless I see them doing something unsafe or if I'm told to by the instructor. To do this IMO is a disservice to them. If you cannot setup your own gear perhaps you should not be in this sport. If you refuse to do it(male or female) then you should definitely be doing something else. If some one has a disability or needs assistance for some reason that is a different story.

 

[WarrenZ]

I will offer my help if asked but I will never put someones gear together for them. Carry tanks and weights I have been known to do that (sometimes); but I believe that everyone should put together their own gear no matter who they are.

 

[scubak]

If ya can't pack it, Ya can't dive it...And I ALWAYS set up my own gear. My Buddy trys to put it together for me which is nice but I NEED to put my own gear together...it is my practice and it gives me satisfaction and a secure feeling before getting in the water...I know how I want my gear to be configured...just let me do it!!!
Besides....all in all,,,,it is my responcibility for my gear to be assembled and in working order.
K

 

[fabasard]

Alright, so I am a bit of a brute, 6'3" 300#, I carry my wifes tanks and gear bag to where it needs to be, but the bags keep the weights, so their heavy as well. I do this not because she can't do for herself, but (as stated earlier) carrying two tanks is easier than carrying one (helps to offset the weight on one side). Once the stuff is where it's supposed to be she handles her own setup. Now with checking out each other I may adjust things, like if her tank strap is loose, but she handles her own dive. She actually leaves me from time to time, usually I sit over her left shoulder and stop to look at something, well in my position, she doesn't see this and moves on. I catch up pretty quick, but THINK like a solo diver and expect others around me to do the same. If I am caught out and need air and my buddy's not around, yes I am coming to you for air. I have never had the situation arise and plan for it. But, I digress, Yes, I shlep for my wife (and any other person that looks like they could use a hand wiht heavy stuff "Me strong, me lift big rock"), but thats it.

 

[JillGadget]

Fabasard i dont think it is a cut on men doing the man thing and carrying the heavy stuff (while the wife carries the other stuff). I think the complaint is more women requiring their SO to do for them or flip side, the husband making the wife feel incompetent to do ANYTHING and doing everything for her. You do what my husband does and that is great. But come-on, inflating and deflating the others BC? Its one thing to help out if their reg fell out. So what happens when the dominant one has a problem?
Jill