You proudly wear a DUI test diver hat even though you have to explain to everyone that no you are not a DUI test driver and that DUI does not stand for driving under influance.
Your daily ritual when you get home from work or get up in the morning is to check your email, then log on to scubaboard, then check facebook.
You are out running around with the non diving spouse and go to the dive shop for just a few minutes and leave with a very angry spouse 2 hours later.
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You read a post like this one and start thinking of sending condolences to people with non diving spouses

no don't flame me.. I know there are some non divers who are such wonderful people that it is justifiable to overlook that "flaw"
