You know you're a scuba diver when...

[smb1014]

When you almost pee in your pants when the urge come.
When you think fake tan is the most stupid thing someone can do.
When you fall sick, first thing you worry is whether it will affect the ear equalization.
No budget for holiday without water.
When you wave at the fish.
Get excited with everything related to diving.
Re-run diving related movie only to see their equipment configuration.
When you start to breath, not with nose.
When you start a new job, the first things your worries are whether you are able to apply leave.
You NEVER pass by a dive shop without going in, and the shopkeeper knows you.
When you use a pencil and try to browse your colleague's hair to look for crinoid guests.


Love this one.

These are FUNNY!!!!

 

[divermike1989]

...when you get the itch to dive again while your diving.

 

[offroaddiver]

the following applies to this diver.

Has plans to construct storage in bedroom for scuba gear organization.
Just attached roll-control tank holders in jeep.
Gf has given dive related gifts for b-day anniversary and xmas.

I actually was snorkeling and diving enough that I a mask tan line for 2 weeks. Had to be out in the sun without a hat to stop the look on people's faces.

In a relaxed restaurant there was a surf and turf special (lobster and sirloin). The waiter said I could pick out my own if i wished. I asked if I could dive in the tank and pick them out that way. He joking said yeah sure. I went out and got a mask and my dive knife out and came back. The group I was with were laughing as the poor waiter almost pissed himself and let his jaw drop. As the manager came up I said eh...no need that one. The manager was a great sport and when I told him about what had happened he laughed and gave the group 3 deserts.

 

[GrierHPharmD]

when you can talk about going down and penetration without giggling or associating it with sex.

Actually, I always giggle when I talk about going down and penetration, especially when I'm diving!

 

[Kev's First Mate]

That's hilarious!

 

[TwoBitTxn]

A major criteria for buying a new house is a place to store wet gear.

You put off going to the optomotrist because you can see just fine under water

TwoBit

 

[plife]

You put off going to the optomotrist because you can see just fine under water This is soooo true )

Also, you have a closet(s) full of old gear that you should have thrown out...but you still have it just in case.



Patti

 

[Kwbyron]

Walking into the cashier's office at Western Washington Univ... I couldn't help but think about the gear I could get with $2000...upon pointing this out to the cashier, she reminded I was buying an education...then glared when I replied, "yeah, but It's not as much fun as diving." I was joking, kind of, I start my independent research in sept...which will require diving! : D

 

[dkktsunami]

when you pass up an opportunity to "get lucky" because you have to go home to load up the boat for tomorrow's dive trip.

 

[diverdown247]

When you retaliate against a non-diving significant other in this manner:

She forces you to go to the mall with her, but won't let you into Sears or any other stores YOU want to go into. So in retaliation you are smart enough to drive her to the mall. Shortly after leaving you side track to the dive shop and make her stand there as you discuss gear, classes, seminars, and new tech with the shop owner. And yes, I'm guilty of this exact thing!!

You pick up women at the club and your idea of a date is to go to the lake or ocean and go diving.

You take out a home equity line of credit or a student loan to pay for your dive classes. Hey, you get college credit for them right??!!