Why Guys Do It?

[sharkdiver00]

While most comments above have a lot of merit and are quite correct.... maybe one of the reasons why specifically males when/if they replace a person fairly quick is because the female role has been the nurturing, take care of things while you are not here role. Once the person that took care of things is not there, it is more practical to find someone to fill in the void and hope that it grows into a good relationship???

Just MHO0...

 

[cobaltbabe]

Women grieve.
Men replace.

I don't know why, but I've seen it in action a lot. Paul McCartney is a perfect example.

In my case, my ex "grieved" longer then I, and he left me. It depends on the person.

 

[FreeFloat]

Women grieve.
Men replace.

I don't know why, but I've seen it in action a lot. Paul McCartney is a perfect example.

I heartily disagree.

I find myself the exception to the rule. What jonnythan said in his post, could apply directly to me - if I were male! :11:

After my most recent end-of-relationship I spent a little time putting the brakes on my tendency to go "hunting" and just enjoy being single. A year ago I found it incomprehensible that there was this single girl at work who had been single for years - heck she has a male roommate and they aren't 'involved' in any way shape or form! LOL

I still don't understand the 'grieving' most women feel they have to go through. Sure, I've definitely seen it - but from the 'outside'. Chances are I'll never understand it. And because I'm so oblivious, it seems to me that your generalization (quoted) could only apply to about 50% of each demographic it addresses...........

 

[jonnythan]

I heartily disagree.

I find myself the exception to the rule. What jonnythan said in his post, could apply directly to me - if I were male!

It's always that way with you isn't it?

 

[cobaltbabe]

I can relate to FF. We have talked and although we have alot of differences we also have alot alike. I think that it depends on the amount of testosteron(??sp) one has. I relate better with men. Although I prefer men to women in the relationship situation, I still find my mind set to be different from most women on most issues. I still have the nurturing side though. It is a strange combination. Maybe because we are both mothers of boys!!! I am sure there is a study out there someplace to explain it.

 

[RonFrank]

The question is this-how can men rebound so fast and so hard? The experience that several of us have had at the table was that these men would be involved in serious relationships, espousing dedication and complete adoration. But, as soon as the relationships had ended, the guys could not stand to be alone. It seems as if some guys cannot bear to be without a female companion. Yet, the opinion of the women I spoke to, was that we all feel the need for a mourning period, even when we break it off. Most women feel it wouldn't be fair to the guy who would be our rebound

While generalizations, a LOT can be explained by the study of roles throughout time, and in the animal world... Yes, we are animals!!

VERY few animals MATE for life. I'd say that WE are not a species that necessarily does just based on the current divorce rate.

What R the primal forces that motivate both sexes and what are the roles if we break it down to a more primitive level? Well survival of the species suggests the urge to breed is instinctive. While it may not be as simple as that, the reality is that men can produce children throughout their entire lifetime, and could produce hundreds of children by many different mates. In fact in some past cultures men have done exactly this.

I would also throw out that a man is VERY willing to *breed* with a woman he may not necessarily like if he finds her attractive (and maybe not even that) where as for *many* females I believe that they rarely have *physical relations* with someone they are not interested in just for the sake of *the physical*.

I'd suggest that many men after a breakup will seek acceptance in another woman's arms knowing that the relationship may not last, or even work. Woman OTOH, often do not want much to do with men close to a breakup for a variety of reasons.

I belive that men tend to be more selfish than woman (another HUGE generalization). Orlando Rouge said she did not think it was fair to a potential new partner to start a relationship close to breakup. I do not think that this would enter into the equasion for most males.

I'm married with children, and have been 17 years BTW in case you are wondering.....

Ron

 

[simbrooks]

Some times it takes a long time to end a relationship that is already dead. You know you're not happy, it isn't working, you're not communicating, but you have too much invested in it to go then and there. So maybe some women (or men) were emotionally over and done with it long before they took the step out? Does that make sense?

I have read and tried to stay out of this discussion, but i just thought i would say that i agree with Leesa's assessment/reasoning as that was the case with my ex-gf.

 

[jonnythan]

I have read and tried to stay out of this discussion, but i just thought i would say that i agree with Leesa's assessment/reasoning as that was the case with my ex-gf.

Heh, tell me about it. You just wait and wait sometimes..

 

[lamont]

While generalizations, a LOT can be explained by the study of roles throughout time, and in the animal world... Yes, we are animals!!

VERY few animals MATE for life. I'd say that WE are not a species that necessarily does just based on the current divorce rate.

What R the primal forces that motivate both sexes and what are the roles if we break it down to a more primitive level? Well survival of the species suggests the urge to breed is instinctive. While it may not be as simple as that, the reality is that men can produce children throughout their entire lifetime, and could produce hundreds of children by many different mates. In fact in some past cultures men have done exactly this.

I would also throw out that a man is VERY willing to *breed* with a woman he may not necessarily like if he finds her attractive (and maybe not even that) where as for *many* females I believe that they rarely have *physical relations* with someone they are not interested in just for the sake of *the physical*.

I'd suggest that many men after a breakup will seek acceptance in another woman's arms knowing that the relationship may not last, or even work. Woman OTOH, often do not want much to do with men close to a breakup for a variety of reasons.

I belive that men tend to be more selfish than woman (another HUGE generalization). Orlando Rouge said she did not think it was fair to a potential new partner to start a relationship close to breakup. I do not think that this would enter into the equasion for most males.

I'm married with children, and have been 17 years BTW in case you are wondering.....

Ron

I think those are a huge overgeneralizations. You've never known women to sleep with attractive men who had they had no intentions of dating seriously? You've never known men to choose not to pursue physical relationships with a woman that was attractive, but who they weren't interested in seriously? I can think of lots of examples from my social crowd.

I find this idea that I'm nothing more than a big sperm-spraying firehose to be a little bit insulting to my intelligence and to my taste, and definitely doesn't explain my behavior at all...

I've also known women to be extraordinarily selfish at times. If there's any difference between the sexes, I'd say that women just rationalize better, while men usually don't bother.

 

[RonFrank]

I think those are a huge overgeneralizations. You've never known women to sleep with attractive men who had they had no intentions of dating seriously? You've never known men to choose not to pursue physical relationships with a woman that was attractive, but who they weren't interested in seriously? I can think of lots of examples from my social crowd.

I find this idea that I'm nothing more than a big sperm-spraying firehose to be a little bit insulting to my intelligence and to my taste, and definitely doesn't explain my behavior at all...

I've also known women to be extraordinarily selfish at times. If there's any difference between the sexes, I'd say that women just rationalize better, while men usually don't bother.

I said that they were generalizations, but they are MUCH closer to describing how men and woman behave vs. the *exceptions* you list. If you don't believe this than explain why:

1) Female prostitution is HUGE, while the damand for male prostitutes (by woman) is almost zero.
2) Popular mens magazines (Maxium) generally feature attractive woman on the cover. Popular woman's magazines (Cosmo) generally ALSO feature woman.
3) I can think of at least three stripclubs (featuring woman) within walking distance from where I work in Downtown Denver, I can not think of ONE in the entire Denver area.

Men and woman are definately wired differently.

I have known very few woman who slept with guys that they had no intention of dating AT ALL... forget the Seriously comment. I have know many guys that would persue a woman until they sleep with them, and then started looking elsewhere. Or even more common, they would date as many woman at a time as possible.

Do you honestly believe that none of our behavior is based on pure animal instinct?

As for sperm-spraying fire hose those are your words, and not mine. The post was not a direct insult on any individual, and like ALL generalizations, they will not apply to everyone.

As to if "You've never known men to choose not to pursue physical relationships with a woman that was attractive, but who they weren't interested in seriously?" No, at least no guys I've known that were not in a relationship unless there was other factors involved (like maybe a best friends sister). In fact even the best friends sister rule has been violated..

Ron