Well, GLOC, I would say that your story does not reflect on "who should make the choices" it reflects on the sometimes poor standards that some diving organizations set. Most commercial courses are run by dive shops, who only make money if everyone gets certified, everyone then needs to buy gear, everyone then needs to book trips. Everyone must pass! And in order to do that, standards are compromised, and the course material is dumbed down into bite-size nuggets.
I got lucky, I took SCUBA as a college gym course, taught by the head of the aquatics program, who had been a gen-you-whine D-day USN frogman. His emphasis was on knowing what you were doing, and he was candid about "Not everyone will pass." In fact, half the students didn't show up for the first pool session because they were a bit intimidated. (And you needed seniority to even sign up for the class, it was always a sellout.)
The course was sanctioned by a local NASDS school, which did the certifying at the end. My C-Card never said "Open Water" or "Basic" or "Advanced" or anything else. It said CERTIFIED DIVER, period. And we were taught, again and again, this is how easily you can get killed, and here are at least three ways to get out of any situation. AND, these are the limits and if you stay inside them, you'll probably not get bent.
When I started diving, it was because I ran into a neighbor who was unloading tanks from his trunk, so I fell in with him and other members of a local "college" diving club. Which had been affiliated with the local YMCA and a PADI shop for many years. And I came to learn that PADI offered literally a sleeve full of patches for specialities--that were all covered in my perhaps not so basic training. Did I need a specialty course for night diving? Hell no, blackout diving was part of our course. Navigation and obstacle, with a blackout mask. Whether that was the frogman's doing or NASDS, I don't know. (If anyone remembers, by all means chime in.) Then there was the day we each had to bring in a bottle of soda. Coke, Nehi, whatever. You opened it on the surface, put your thumb over the top, and had to go sit on the bottom of the pool, DRINK THE SODA, and then send the empty bottle up before you surfaced. If you couldn't do that...come back and try again, or you don't pass. (And my poor buddy had a small thumb, so her bottle just kept getting lighter and lighter but never quite emptying.)
And a big hot button: NASDS required "harassment training" in the pool. ANYthing goes, if one of the instructors could panic you and you broke surface with air still in your tank--you didn't pass. Sneak up behind you, turn off your air. Rip off your mask. Buddy breath--and refuse to give the regulator back. You name it. NASDS logic was "If you're gonna panic, you shouldn't be diving." PADI and others said "Yeah, but that's too dangerous." NASDS logic was "Sure, someone could drown, but wouldn't you rather find that out IN THE POOL with rescue at hand?"
It wasn't all about certifying divers, the way a sausage factory pushes out sausage.
Have I made mistakes? Sure. Have I perhaps been luckier than some of those club members, at least one of whom gave up diving after a regulator diaphragm failed and she panicked and spent the day in a chamber? Sure.
But there is a wide variety in training standards, even with "standards". If someone is certified as a *diver* they are the first and last word, they are the divemaster, no matter who else has an opinion. That's what it is about. Not "apprentice diver", not "junior diver", but DIVER.
With that comes the responsibility to know what you are getting into. And if you haven't been trained that far? Well, maybe re-examine what you're paying for.
I've also got a driver's license. And funny thing? I KNOW that doesn't qualify me to drive at Indy. That's still me choice, my responsibility. And my training.
So, you know, the nice guy on the boat says surface with 1000# in my tank? No thanks, I'll surface with half of that without any qualms. And if that means surface swimming to the boat, or pulling the tank down to 300#? I don't care if they're unhappy, that's my choice. On the surface, that's more air than I'll need. My choice.