Why do guys do it?

[northcoast_diver]

I have noticed that women are the same as men, on this, and many other issues.

In other words, lots of women love to flirt with married guys, or guys who are actively dating or engaged to a woman. For all the reasons that H2Andy said, and then some.

With me, its not a big deal, either way.

It does beg the question, as to why single people flirt with other people's significant others? Maybe they just cannot resist? Maybe that is why adultery is mentioned in the 10 Commandments, dated to circa 1250 B.C. That is over 32 centuries of human nature.

 

[Zoe83]

Ok, so based on this thread, either I am a hussie, or guys are like animals sometimes. First of all, scbababe, I'm far from loose lol, i have never been 'intimate' (if you take my meaning) with any other guy apart from my current bf, cuz i knew no previous guy had ‘clicked’ with me as much as this one. he is the one for me and we both know it, i wouldnt be hauling *** to the other side of the world if he wasnt! i am very secure with him, which is the reason his friends behaviour annoys me. i have made it clear to them all. if i was loose or insecure i would like their attention, but i dont..as for helping one get a girl, he ASKED me if i could help since he isnt very confident at talking to new people, and i am. i wouldnt just go around trying to fix people up if they didnt ask. the thing i didnt consider is my bf in all this, i thought it was just his friends problem, but some replys have made me think about him more. He has said he likes showing me off, maybe in some weird way he likes attention on me. Then again, maybe its not meant for me to understand lol I dont know if i put out a signal, but even if i do, telling them to back off should be enough for them to leave me alone. I dont think i can do more than what i am doing to try and stop them now, so I think ill just try not to let things like this get to me. After all, its my bf who should be more worried about his choice in friends.

 

[scbababe]

the only time i flirt, i know this will make me sound like a bad person, but its to mine or someone's gain, ie. extra drink at a bar, let me in queues, fix my car, distract a guy while my friend goes for a girl etc, i figure if they are going to offer i am going to talk to them, why not. its happened to me b4 and ive learned from it. just a bit of fun, nothing serious. lotsa people do it. my bf doesnt mind and i dont mind if he does that in the opposite case. we know where we both stand. but when it is his FRIENDS, im dumbfounded as to why my bf is not annoyed, and why his friends still persist. maybe it is an insecurity all round...including my bf?

It's not the thread, it's what you have stated on this thread!

 

[H2Andy]

first, i think people are being too hard on Zoe83. while flirting in some contexts
is quite harmless and is understood to be just that, in other contexts (such as a
nightclub) it is bound to be misunderstood immediately.

it's safe to say that young, immature guys in a bar or club will pester any woman around without any help from her needed.

add alcohol, and they're on a roll.

add ANYTHING they can construe as an "invitation" and they'll be in hog heaven (bizarre as this may sound, even your clothing will be considered an invitation by some guys). if you are being flirty, this will
definetely get their hopes (not to mention other things) up.

if that's the kind of guy you want to hang around, you can (a) deal with it;
(b) be constantly frustrated at the way they relate to you; or (c) try to make
them aware of what they're doing, in which case they will either (a) ignore you
or (b) think you're a *****.

so... remind me, why is it that you want to hang around these guys?

 

[fmw625]

I'm a vey friendly extrovert, sometimes my wife comes down on me hard for being a flirt. Most of the time I don't realize that I'm coming across that way. Look, I'm 53 y/y, don't consider myself other than normal looking, so all I have in my openion is my friendly personality to offer for acceptance.

 

[Zoe83]

H2Andy, theyre my bf's only american friends here, so he likes their company, they relate better than most aussies do to him, so i try not to let things bother me. Theyre not bad people, its just annoying having to repeat myself. Theyre quite well behaved when they dont drink much, just when they do theyre stupid.

 

[MikeFerrara]

Any one want an old married guys opinion? I mean some one who's been married twice and almost married about 100 times?

Kids flirt...they are pumping themselves up.

Pros flirt...that's what they do.

Those who don't get, or don't want, attention from their own SO flirt.

And...people who just don't understand flirt.

Flirting is not an indication that you or your SO are secure in your relationship.


Take a piece of tape and walk around the house sticking it to things and pulling it off. Then see if it'll stick when you need it to. It won't and niether will you.

Sorry for intruding on the single (or soon to be divorced) forum.

 

[ChicagoMermaid]

I agree with Scbababe & ScubaDadMiami...not to flame you, Zoe, but when you flirt and get attention, you seem to like it when it suits your purpose (e.g. getting your car fixed, free drinks, whatever), but then complain when the flirting actually works and you get attention when your bf is around. Granted, sometimes just being nice is interpreted as flirting, but when you finally realize they're misinterpreting your actions and start offering to fix your car, do your laundry (it's happened to me!), etc., you may want to re-evaluate your actions....someone's getting the wrong idea. The women will probably jump on me for this, but guys don't usually get in your face and pursue you if you've told them in no uncertain terms you're not interested. If they do, that's stalking and there are laws against it.

 

[underwater daphne]

If they do, that's stalking and there are laws against it.

what, you want her to sue her bf's friends?

i just wouldn't worry too much about what others think of you. you wanna flirt, do it, no matter what the reason. you don't want your bf's friends hitting on you, then show em you're not into it.
i sometimes flirt with friends and for me it's obvious, especially with friends who are also in a relationship, that it's just fun and will amount to absolutely nothing but a few laughs. most of em know me and get it. it does however happen that months/years later a friend will tell me that the other person actually had feelings, but figured i was playing. maybe they think you're just having fun with them as well and none of them has any intentions to go further than that.

 

[Zoe83]

I dont know how many times im going to have to say this, but I DO NOT flirt with or around my bf's mates. If i was, i would understand why theyre acting this way towards me. it is the fact that I AM NOT doing anything to warrant this behaviour from them, that i am asking why they do it. I wanted to know if this has happened to anyone else, or if it is common for guys to do this for competition or something. I'm not taking anything that people say from this thread as offensive, as they dont know me, theyre just not really answering the question i asked, so i dont know why theyre saying things like i bring it upon myself. when i flirt with some guy to get into a line, i expect them to flirt back, thats the idea, get their attention then leave shortly. in this case i am not doing anything and theyre coming on to me. She'll be right, I reckon the boys are just being jerky drunks and that one of them only likes me cuz i talk to him when he's not confident enough to talk to other girls. I'll deal with it since its not bothering my bf, which was my main concern, im used to it anyway and im comfortable with myself and my relationship.