Why do guys do it?

[diverindeep]

Good to hear things are working out!

 

[RonFrank]

First off, I'd talk to your BF, and tell HIM what is bothering you. The BEST way to prevent this is to have your BF tell specific friends to layoff. While guys may play the non-caring guy role to a point, the reality is that if someone is hitting hard on my girl to the point it's causing her problems, it's time to step in and tell them to back off.. ALOT.

As for your attitude, don't change IMO. It's fun to interact, and an attractive girl who like to flirt to a degree just adds to mix. However, if YOU are uncomfortable with this, or it is going too far, well see my first comment.

If you are a total flirt, well maybe you need to curb this. There is nothing wrong with flirting and having fun, as LONG as the people involved know the boundries. Sounds like some of your boyfriends mates do NOT know the line, and in those cases, you need to shut it down, or he does.

 

[scuba_luv]

Zoe,
I think you can take all the "helpful" evaluations of you and your supposed insecurities and stuff them. When I read your question it seemed pretty straight-forward. For some reason folks decided to blame you and only you.
I don't think that's right. There's nothing wrong with you or your question that I can find. Seems like there were also a fair number of folks who really read your question and provided some great answers.
Here are my thoughts:
It's a problem when guys don't hear a women who is trying to say "back OFF." Sometimes I think it's because we don't say it clearly enough that we are heard. Sometimes it's because they are in tune with something completely different. It sounds like you've begun to make some progress and that is a good thing. Good luck keeping the balance - it's something that takes practice and none of us get it right all the time.

 

[Mama Mynet]

Zoe,
I think you can take all the "helpful" evaluations of you and your supposed insecurities and stuff them. When I read your question it seemed pretty straight-forward. For some reason folks decided to blame you and only you.
I don't think that's right. There's nothing wrong with you or your question that I can find. Seems like there were also a fair number of folks who really read your question and provided some great answers.
Here are my thoughts:
It's a problem when guys don't hear a women who is trying to say "back OFF." Sometimes I think it's because we don't say it clearly enough that we are heard. Sometimes it's because they are in tune with something completely different. It sounds like you've begun to make some progress and that is a good thing. Good luck keeping the balance - it's something that takes practice and none of us get it right all the time.

Sometimes, as a woman, it's almost difficult to have to say back off cause we are raised to be polite yadda-yadda-yadda... And we don't want to be the "witchy" one of the group. But, when ya gotta lay down the law, just do it. Try talking nicely at first, then witchy. If they don't get the point, then give the freeze. Sometimes people are dense and don't know how to back off even when you are yelling "back off"