Nothing droll about it, it's a serious question. You'd tell your other half to bring a personal divemaster because you aren't going to allow them to rely on you for any help?
Of course you want to dive with competent people, and of course you can get yourself out of trouble if you need to. You seem to confuse "functioning as a team" with "needing a team as a crutch".
And as soon as you say "who can help in extremis", then you are in fact diving in a team, you just have a different boundary on where you might bother to assist.