SeaJay once bubbled...
To your face, I'd tell you, "Tough. Suck it up. If you want to dive with me, then you're going to need to ask me politely. Then, if I feel like you might make a good addition to my team, we'll do some simple stuff together so that I can find out whether or not you're good enough for my team. If you are, then we'll consider taking you along, but let's get something clear: You'll be the lackey.
Geeze. I wouldn't let someone with this type of attitude on my boat, PERIOD.
Granted, I'm a new diver, but I've had the great opportunity to be diving with very experienced divers (5,000+ dives). They all seem to welcome the presence of a DM, at the very least to help make sure everyone's on the same page.
The last dive I went on our DM was a woman, and she pretty much acted like the boat mother.
Gave those of us that were throwing up glasses of water and something to keep our mouths wiped with, made sure to hang onto us so we didn't fall overboard when we were puking. Made sure everyone's air was on, and that everyone spent a minute or two to familiarize ourselves with each others gear, drew a pretty little map of the reef we were about to explore, and kept a constant and watchful eye on the flags while we were all down.
Basically, she made sure the newer divers did everything that they were supposed to, and made sure that the "old salts" did everything that they were supposed to do, but might have rushed past otherwise due to the fact that they were "experienced divers".
She had all of our names memorized within the first 5 minutes on board before we ever left dock, and called them out and checked us off her list when we made it back to the surface after each dive.
The dive before that, we had stopped to look at something, and the DM notice the flag hadn't moved in a while (it was supposed to be a drift dive). He free-dove down to 50' or so to check on us, and make sure everything was OK.
What in the hell is wrong with this? Why on earth people like SeaJay take such a holier than thou attitude about such things is above and beyond me?
Personally, I like the idea of a DM, sort of like a football coach for the team. Granted, the coach isn't usually the best of football players, but he makes sure everyone on the team is following the same game plan, and along with the trainer is there to help in case something goes wrong.....