What should families do with gear?

[HammerHead05]

I'm also one of the Associate Pastors, so life, sickness and death are regular duties ("Marry 'em to bury 'em," as we say ).

In that case, I suppose we're all associate pastors!! At any rate, read the rest of my post regarding material possessions. I'm more concerned with my wife’s spiritual well being than her material well being!!! I would expect with your “background” you would feel the same way!!

 

[Debraw]

I totally get the whole material thing and yes you are right sometimes it's just not that important. I think when dealing with death, and your wordly possessions it is part of the closure process. I know my sister-in-law took up to two years before she could dispose of her son's thing after his death. It was not as easy as just saying, throw them out, burn them, sell them, whatever. It's just not that simple for everyone. We are all different and we all deal with death differently.

 

[almitywife]

.......at the end of the day, material/esoteric possessions are just stuff!!!

yes its "stuff" but im guessing whether you sell it, give it or throw it away, its part of the letting go process that each individiual must handle in their own time

my mum had me packing up my dads stuff as he laid in his hospital bed dying (which upset my brother) whereas i would guess if it was me and my marriage, i would hold onto a tshirt that still had my hubbys smell on it so people react differently

but as many people have said here - talk about it with your loved ones.....

or as hubby once said, if he sends up a black smb it means "Dont Bother and Free Dive Gear available"

cheers

 

[AndyA]

Hammerhead05

I would think you are insensitive, at first she would have other thoughts on her mind, but every time she would look at my tanks, bc’s, wetsuits, drysuits, regs, and other gear it would upset her. I am thinking of her.


Andy

 

[HammerHead05]

It's obvious we all evolve differently. After reading some of these subsequent posts, I'm gratefull my wife and I have the understanding we have and are well beyond material issues.

 

[John_B]

My wife and I have an understanding upon our timely or untimely demise to dispose of material possessions in any way seen fit (sell, burn, throw away, whatever). We understand, at the end of the day, material/esoteric possessions are just stuff!!!

Too funny! You did realize the "Zen" attitude is supposed to be lived while you are alive and not just when you die, right?

Yes, its just stuff, but its stuff that has value. "Esoteric" referring to stuff where the value might not be apparent to someone else. Hence, the recommendation to include a note to the executor.

I wouldn't want to have a distraught family member just drop my scuba stuff at the nearest dive shop (no questions asked) any more than I'd want to have them abandon my Martin guitars at the nearest Guitar Center.

I obviously don't know you, but I can't help but wonder... It doesn't seem like you've actually been in this situation.

 

[HammerHead05]

Thanks for explaining the Zen attitude. I'm not aspiring to that quality but if it works for you, go for it. Secondly, thanks for defining "esoteric" I'm not accustomed to dealing with someone who has such an evolved vocabulary!! And lastly, not having dealt with getting rid of something as shallow as dive gear or guitars, doesn’t make me any less qualified in choosing how I want mine disposed of!!! I don’t want my loved ones to worry or deal with any of that trivial sh&t!!!

 

[ArcticDiver]

This is definitely a thread worth following, thinking about and acting on. Too many people, for whatever reason, do not do the things that will make it easier for their surviviors. By ignoring the physical facts often the survivors are subjected to additional and unnecessary stress.

EVERYONE needs at a minumum three things:
>A Will that is properly prepared, current and legal in the place where it will be executed.
>A Medical Directives document that is effective.
>A Property Disposal document separate from the will. This has minimal or no legal effect but can save a lot of familial conflict.

We are talking accidental death here so more preplanning can be problematic. But, for disease a person can go as far a some I've known disposed of property, wrote their own funeral service and even bought the burial site. Such things may be ghoulish to some. To me they are an expression of love and caring by the deceased for the living.