What do the ToS mean to you?

[bowlofpetunias]

Can you handle a bit of constructive criticism? Try speaking only for yourself and not seeing yourself as some kind of people's representative. It can sometimes lead to an over inflated sense of self worth.

One of the problems is that things like "insulting" and "mean spirited" are highly subjective. Some people get indignant and offended at merely having their statements corrected or rebutted. Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, insults are often in the ear of the listener.

I like the point Selkie made, that "I am the only one in control of how I feel about something". I think you'll find it easier and more productive to change yourself than to change the world. Keep in mind the old schoolyard saying "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me".

Well there ya go, you just demonstrated perfectly how some people can find insult or offense where none was intended. I was not making any attributions about any specific person. There was no judgment made. I was speaking in general terms that "it" can "sometimes" lead people who feel they are representing others to believe that their posts therefore carry more weight.

:blinking:I think I know what you think I said but I can assure you that what you heard is not what I meant.
I am neither insulted or offendedJust agree with Livinoz like so many here seem to. I support your position that there is not enough information to subscribe motives to Livinoz

Sorry I am not good on this multiquote thing or cutting out bits to respond to.

 

[Hoomi]

Terms of Service give the owners and moderators of a forum like this a good way to quantify the standards of behavior while using them, and they give the users a heads-up of what is expected of them. It also keeps the rules from being arbitrary depending on which mod is looking.

Having moderated in other places, I figured out a long time ago that the internet is an ideal venue for people to act out repressed frustrations. The person who, for whatever reason, would never smart off to others in person will make the nastiest, snarkiest comments to others online because, here, he's "untouchable".

In real life, someone would plant a fist firmly into their nose. On the internet, about the worst that can happen is being banned, and that kind of person is just as happy to create a new account under a different name to come right back.

Our old Rabbi used to say that who we really are is who we are when we think no one is looking. I think that applies in many ways to the internet. It doesn't matter how nice and friendly someone acts in real life; if they get on the internet and act like a jerk, just because they can, then deep down, they're really a jerk who's afraid of being one in real life.

People who are genuinely decent people typically don't need ToS to remain polite and friendly in a forum; they do so because it's the right thing to do whether or not it's the official rule.

 

[24940]

Civility and adherence to TOS is 5% of the problem. Perception is the other 95%. If you look beyond the words used to convey a view, you might find some useful information.

When ideas expressed border on the absurd, squashing them needs to take priority over the ambiguity of PC speak.

What would the "civil" response be to someone posting misinformation or potentially dangerous views? Depending on the level of stupidity and its potential for causing harm, I see no reason for a restrained reply when the stupidity expressed is unrestrained.

I would suggest asking why such a strong response, rather than fixating on the words used in the response. I think the moderators do a pretty good job at squelching the **** disturbers.

 

[Charlie99]

When ideas expressed border on the absurd, squashing them needs to take priority over the ambiguity of PC speak.

What would the "civil" response be to someone posting misinformation or potentially dangerous views? Depending on the level of stupidity and its potential for causing harm, I see no reason for a restrained reply when the stupidity expressed is unrestrained.

I disagree. A civil reply pointing out the error or stupidity is more likely to be read and understood than will a reply with gratuitous verbal violence.

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What a stupid post. If you just opened your eyes and looked around you'd see that you're so far off base that we need to send out a search party.

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Which of the two paragraphs above are more likely to achieve your goal? If your goal is to inform, the 1st paragraph works better. The 2nd paragraph works better if your goal is to ridicule the poster.

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I haven't bothered to read the TOS. I assume that it is a few pages of verbiage that can be condensed down to "BEHAVE!".

 

[24940]

I find both replies to be equally useless in this example, but your last statement nails the intent of the TOS(as i understand it) pretty well.

 

[letterboy]

some people just need to be ridiculed. . . .

 

[bowlofpetunias]

Charley99 beautifully put!
People learn and accept information better if they do not feel attacked. When I see someone post a rude response (or one where the rudeness is cleverly hidden between the lines) I lose respect for the poster and am less inclined to accept information from that poster.

 

[NZarathustra]

If your goal is to inform, the 1st paragraph works better. The 2nd paragraph works better if your goal is to ridicule the poster.

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I haven't bothered to read the TOS. I assume that it is a few pages of verbiage that can be condensed down to "BEHAVE!".

Nicely put!

 

[ScubaTexan]

Our old Rabbi used to say that who we really are is who we are when we think no one is looking. I think that applies in many ways to the internet. It doesn't matter how nice and friendly someone acts in real life; if they get on the internet and act like a jerk, just because they can, then deep down, they're really a jerk who's afraid of being one in real life.

People who are genuinely decent people typically don't need ToS to remain polite and friendly in a forum; they do so because it's the right thing to do whether or not it's the official rule.

You and your Rabbi are very wise. Well said!

 

[Cacia]

TOS

I have never read it but I get the idea. The spirit is basically that things not get taken over by an element that is not in the best interest of the board as a whole.

I assume it is an agreement between the board owner and anyone who signs up. That is the part I take seriously enough not to want to violate it.

I stay in the Pub mostly, where it is safe. That way we don't offend anyone and can still talk openly. (Thanks very much for that area!) I value the international insight that allows, to be able to ask or discuss freely things that could be offensive.

I think it is being utilized in a very positive way, BTW.

I am a bit amazed that the HOT Chick Thread has no gotten boring and has such a following...