"...we'll laugh at you and you'll look like a dork." - the Split

[Teamcasa]

What do you do when a couple of 300#+, good ol’ boys from the mid-west win a trip to Hawaii. Shortly after arriving they get out of their mind drunk, wake up the next morning only to discover they emptied the mini bar, thinking it was all just free stuff. After sobering up, they want to know where they can rent “some of that Jack Cousteau/Sea Hunt stuff”, “we gunna go divin’.

I’ll tell ya’ You laugh at them and they look like a dorks!

Dave

 

[Archangel]

Im sorry Josh, YOU are my best girlfriend! :10:

T

 

[ScubaMilo]

Wow, finally got to the end!
blew off his secretary, and just finished at 3p.

Welp. . . .IM A DORK!

Smiles for miles,

Tevis

All this and still smiles for miles:11:

Wow is right!

Milo

 

[orangelion03]

You, yeah you with the glasses and all that yellow stuff...You're in such a damn hurry to get into the boat's hot tub with those two over-developed teeny boppers, you go down the ladder with your back to the bulkhead, bare footed, one hand on the rail the other holding a dry bag, in a pitching-rolling sea, slip through a rung, then pitch to the deck, and end up hanging from your ankle screaming like a banshee, tearing up your ankle that keeps you out of the water for two months...your mama will laugh at you and think you're a dork...

 

[Mo2vation]

HEY MO! Whatchya loinin' in Vegas? ... :smileysto

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

Its like photogeek's day out. A fine slice of humanity.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(que deep voiced announcer man)


PRESENTING FROM VEGAS - DORKS - THE ROAD SHOW

Broadcasting from the PMA Trade Show, its your host with the most, that toast of the coast, sporting high hair and a shiney coat, that smooth skin, bruised shin, broken in man about town, live from the Boom Boom Room of the Las Vegas Convention Center, its KENNY "SNAKE EYES" JONES

(hoo rah...)


I flew in this morning, and boy are my arms tired...
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(Crickets...)
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.tap tap tap... uh, this thing on?

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But seriously folks - How many Road Warriors we got here tonight? Ever seen that guy, the Trade Show Walk-n-Gawk? You know the guy, he's in the 'mani and the Rockports, trying to both look good and fight off the agony of dah Feet. With each passing hour, the tie moves a little further south off the neckline until by closing time he's wearing a silk belt. This is the dude that can't walk by a hot chick in a booth without piling up traffic. At the Samsung booth, the two Shagadelic groovy white booted latex dress chicks - oh, yeah.. he's there. At the Canon Booth, the model falling out of her red dress, ol Popeye is there. The Nikon Hotties, cooing for the crowd in their yellow spandex... my man is front row, center. The only thing funnier than you gawking at the 19 year old rentals is when you whip out your cell phone to capture a fuzzy pic of Ms FujiFilm for further review tonight in your cheap room. Yo playah, what's next... nugget jewerly? Listen Johnny Vegas, how about putting down the expense account, stop fleecing the company and get some leads and close some business at the show. If you're spending your time chasing down boothmeat (or worse, on WiFi with ScubaBoard) we're all going to laugh at you and you're gonna look like a dork.

Thank you, I'm here all week. Tell your friends...


---
Ken

 

[Mauifish]

Reading this string is like watching a 100 car pile up with a train wreck in the middle and feeling like a dork for watching ---yet--- I can't turn away

 

[jetfixer]

But relevant today.

Hey MR. SCUBA ONE-UPPER, Don't brag about your hoity toity Scubapro gear and how inferior my noob rig is, only to have your reg free flow before the dive whipping about the boat like a live firehose. Yeah, keep banging it against your palm. That'll get the o-ring to seat.

Please go on, rocketman, about the superiority of NAUI certified divers and how you pick PADI divers off the bottom all the time, then blast to the surface at warp speed from 100fsw on the next dive. Wow! Look at him go!

Wanna tell me again, Chatterton, about your navigation and wreck diving skills? After you seperate yourself from the team on a night dive and surface with a different one? Cuz if you do, we'll laugh at you and you'll look like a dork.

 

[ScubaMilo]

Hey Mr DIR, If your supposed to be DIR compliant and your still diving with a hoseless computer and transmitter guess what, were all going to laugh and you'll look like a dork.

Milo

 

[Codyjp]

Really, seriously, I will laugh if you show up to a dive with this:

yeah, really, who would want to use a green snorkle?

 

[Mo2vation]

Hey, Mr joyless doubles tech prep uber DIR Nazi bully, driving fifty miles so you can dive with "only DIR divers" (well, most of them are, sort of) when there are hundreds of perfectly safe divers in your own back yard that would probably like to dive with you and would learn from your mad game - if only you weren't such an elitiest turd. You who will fight hand to hand to the death with a slide rule over the details that are meaningless to all but you and your possee, but have wrung all joy out of your diving so its become mearly notches in your ample weight belt, or "noteworthy accomplishments." In person you're a sweet, smart, funny, engaging guy. In the water, you got some skeels - but online, where from behind your monitor you can lob scuds of half-truths, misdirection and (albeit unintentional) ill-informed lies, its sad to see the real you melt away, as the online you has the cyber graces of a raging ayehole. Listen closely, you insecure, sackless, pontificating double-minded twit - if you're taking noob doubles divers with less than 10 ocean doubles dives, near zero experience and the inability to manage a clean, properly sequenced valve drill on their own because they're so new... if you take this loyal minion (you have no friends, really - only groupies) loaded with huge borrowed doubles to 130 FSW on air, depths you're quite comfortable with (despite the DIR conflict of that gas at that depth, which you're obviously resolved in your own bad self) not only are you putting his life in danger, but we're all gonna laugh at you because you're a fool talking out of both sides of your bloated melon.

Oh, and you look like a dork.


Just having fun (that makes everything good, right?)


---
Ken