Pathetic? Rly? Calling a dive should never, ever be described as being "pathetic". Diving is always optional. There are lots of dives I would make where most would stay out of the water. There are a number others would make where I say "no way". If they are hesitant, ie scared of getting in the water under benign conditions, then you haven't done your job. I bet it's more a factor of the instructor being pathetic rather than the student.
When I get a minor student, their parents and I have a rather frank discussion. If little Jenny doesn't want to dive, they are not allowed to force her. If they can't agree to this, I won't teach their kid. Diving is a personal decision. You don't get to decide for me and I'm not going to pressure you into the water. That's just wrong. Make no doubt about it, my students decide if/when they are going to splash. I'll give them all the input I can, but ultimately it's their decision. I have had students decide not to dive easy dives and that usually means we're going back to the pool. Training is designed to eliminate fear through skills. If they aren't ready for OW and I have them there, then it's my fault and not theirs. I have put them into a situation where they weren't ready emotionally and that's my fault.
Here's another pet peeve of mine: Instructors blaming students for their own shortcomings. I have filled in for instructors on many classes. Often, I am shocked at how poorly the students are diving. In almost every instance the instructor blames the students. No. It's not the students' fault that you have way too many peeps in your class. It's not the students' fault you don't have the patience, insight or skill to teach basic skills. It's just not the students' fault that you don't have neutral buoyancy so you can't teach it. Stop blaming the student for your inability to teach. Figure out what you're doing wrong or get out of the business.
Many years ago, fresh out of my "kneeling phase", I was asked to teach a class of eight in Devil's Den. First, I would never agree to teach a class in there. Too many areas students shouldn't go. Second, eight is too many for efficient teaching. The bigger the class, the more you become a baby sitter and less an instructor. I limit class size to four. However, this was not my class, I'm doing a favor for a buddy, so I'll endure without comment. He tells me that he has this one horrible, horrible student who's too stupid to clear her mask and it's OK if I fail her. Rly? How on earth does an ethical instructor allow a student out of confined water without mastering all their skills. Again, he's only asking me to do two dives with these students, not to critique his teaching prowess. We get there, do a walk through, gear up and splash. The instructor has given me four skills they need to do to be finished and one is mask clearing. We descend to a platform where, without being asked, they all form a kneeling circle. I'm trying to get them off their knees, but kneeling is what they know, so it's not happening. It's obvious who the "horrible student" was as soon as we do the mask clearing. I stop her as she's so stinking anxious that it looks like she's blowing through half of her tank in a minute or two. So we finished the dive and as the students are heading up the steps, I keep her back. I ask her if I can help her with her mask skills and we sit in waist deep water. It's been a while, but I remember that her mask was on impossibly tight. We get it right and within a couple of minutes she's clearing her mask like a pro. On the second dive she clears her mask better than anyone else. What a turnaround. After the dives are done, we're putting up gear and she comes over in tears. According to her, the other instructor never spent a minute working through her issues with mask clearing. He yelled at her and told her if she couldn't do it, she was going to die. Yeah, yeah. He really told her that. He even admitted to telling her that when I told him that she had got it down. He never asked me how I did it.She went from zero to hero not because I'm an amazing instructor. No, I merely spent a few minutes analyzing and correcting her issues on one skill. No magic. No god-like powers. I simply gave a flying flip. No more and certainly no less.
Instructors: If a student looks like crap then it's your fault and not theirs. If a student can't learn a skill, then you're doing it wrong. Stop blaming the student for your own inadequacies. Reinvent yourself. Use the grey matter God gave you. Try a different method. Don't just think outside the box, stop living in one. We have an I2I forum: ask questions. The onus is on you to produce divers that are in control of their dive and free from fear without ever yelling at them or telling them how bad they are.
Sry for the longish posts. I feel very passionate about this.
