The 5 Toughest Questions That Women Ask Men and the Answers

[SueMermaid]

Nononononono, Andy. No. No. :nope:
Let me say it one more time for the benefit of the men in the back row:

THE ONLY correct answer to the question:
"Does this make my butt look too big?"
is

(now write this down).






NO.

 

[starfish365]

"do you think i'm fat?"

no, but the light in here is really unflattering (indoors)

no, but the light out here is really unflattering (outdoors)

EEEWWWWW!!!! GOOD ONE!!

See a relatively smart woman of today wouldn't ask such a question of her mate/Sig.other......unless one was actually looking for a fight.







so do I look fat in this wetsuit??

 

[downunderjenn]

dry suits are sexy

 

[H2Andy]

i'm....too sexy for this drysuit
too sexy for this drysuit ...
as sexy as a fruit

'cause i'm a diver, you know what i mean?
i do my little walk on the dive boat,
on the dive boat, on the dive boat,
yeah...

 

[cobaltbabe]

i'm....too sexy for this drysuit
too sexy for this drysuit ...
as sexy as a fruit

'cause i'm a diver, you know what i mean?
i do my little walk on the dive boat,
on the dive boat, on the dive boat,
yeah...

Step away from the keyboard, it will be alright. NOW OFF GAS!!!!!

 

[Squashie]

Step away from the keyboard, it will be alright. NOW OFF GAS!!!!!

I think those nasty rumors about the radiation emitted by a computer monitor being hazardous to your health have been answered...Andy, please for the continued survival of your remaining brain cells, please listen to Cobaltbabe and "Put the keyboard down...and step away from the computer".

The idea, that you would envoke a "Right Said Fred" lyric only further establishes the premiss that you, my underwater buddy, are suffering from the advanced symptoms of "Moderatus Diving Depletion Syndrome".

The only known cure is to immediately abandon the computer and go diving! The partial pressure of oxygen at depth, coupled with the euphoric feeling of floating weightless and the realization that there is more to our universe than random electrons transversing the globe in sensless blogging via internet chat rooms and discussion boards will rejuvinate your damaged neurons and dendrons, thus revitalizing your mind and returning you to peak mental and physical health.....Oh my gosh! I'm rambling nonsensically....I must be nearing the same level of exposure as Andy....so, therefore; I must ask you all to "Please excuse me while I whip this out! (a dive that is )" Its been too long, I need the water!!! Gotta go now, eyes bluring, fingers cramping, neck aching from poor posture....plus I'm getting the overwhelming desire to paraphrase other equally distasteful lyrics by Huey Lewis and the News...

 

[cobaltbabe]

LOL.... I love Huey Lewis, sing to us please.

 

[Squashie]

LOL.... I love Huey Lewis, sing to us please.

I have a soft spot for redheads, so just for you Cobaltbabe...Not my best work, since I didn't have a lot of time...But, with sincere apologies to Huey Lewis and the News...for your mental listening pleasure....to the tune of "I Want A New Drug"... :11ztongue

I Want Some New Dive Gear
Huey Lewis & The News,
Additional Lyrics and Creative License by Squashie

I want some new dive gear – that don’t cost too much,
Maybe a new wet suit, that’s not too tight in the butt.
I want some new dive gear – maybe a mask that fits,
One that won't pinch my nose, or make my eyes too red.

Gear that won't make me nervous, wonderin' what to use.
Gear that makes me feel like I’m divin’ nude, yea when I'm divin’ nude.

I want some new dive gear – a reg that works.
One that don't free flow, or make my gums hurt.
I want some new dive gear – a B. C. that fits,
One that’s not too tight, with a DAN air kit.
One that won't make me look like a newby, wonderin' what to wear ...
When I’m divin’ with you.

I want some new dive gear – a comp that does what it should,
One that won't, let me get bent,
One that won't, make me spend the rent.
I want some new dive gear – there is no doubt,
It’s got to be DIR, and possibly DYS, with a bag to carry about. ...
Gear that makes me feel like I’m divin’ nude, yeah.

Thank you, thank you very much!...Elvis has left the computer!

 

[cobaltbabe]

LOL very nice. I knew that putting in the red dye would work to win over a few of you.

 

[LeFlaneur]

all good songs but "sexy as a fruit" wins the best lyric award for sheer absurdity.

The best response I've ever heard to "Does this make my bum look big," is... "Yeah, but it takes the attention off your face."