So what do you say if

[ladyfishdvr]

Yes the IVS folks are great to me. Hoping to go to Key Largo in February and have husband join me and dive while he fishes. I'm certainly no spring chicken and also need help with my wetsuit. BTW I only classify myself by vegetable type and not other people.

---------- Post added July 16th, 2013 at 06:25 PM ----------

ladyfishdvr Not for a second am I saying I don't believe you. But what you are saying happened just doesn't make sense.
It 'sounds" to me almost as if the diver concerned did what he did deliberately to check your reaction.
Is it possible that the diver concerned was in some way involved in your training?

Not wanting to be offensive but it just seems such a newbee diver reaction.

No this person was absolutely NOT involved in any training for me.
And who knows how many times he has been diving in the past four years.

He actually said to me before diving that we could exchange numbers if I still wanted to dive with him after the dive. I guess that should have been a clue, but not knowing all the nuances I let that pass without questioning it.

He did not do this to check my reaction. He is seriously in need of help. He needs to slow down and work on his skills.

 

[Frosty]

Post added July 16th, 2013 at 06:25 PM ----------
No this person was absolutely NOT involved in any training for me.
And who knows how many times he has been diving in the past four years.
He actually said to me before diving that we could exchange numbers if I still wanted to dive with him after the dive. I guess that should have been a clue, but not knowing all the nuances I let that pass without questioning it.
He did not do this to check my reaction. He is seriously in need of help. He needs to slow down and work on his skills.

By your description it sure does sound like it.
I was going to "say" tht everybody has an off day but that doesn't really wash

 

[maniago]

He did not do this to check my reaction. He is seriously in need of help. He needs to slow down and work on his skills.

And that's why LDSs offer Scuba Refresher...but I guess you also have to be some what introspective to take advantage of it.

 

[divad]

I would have probably slugged him once out of the water, that's just me though.

Is this is hyperbole, or are you really a jerk?

 

[BabyDuck]

Congratulations. Not looking like a potato is on the good side of that whole bad/good line. I, OTOH, still look like a potato. A red-headed potato. So on a scale of 1-5, that's bad.

you & me both, baby! mwah!

lots of good advice on the thread. i only had similar stuff happen once - instabuddy on a liveaboard (not frank's). he was *so fast* the first dive. i told him i wasn't having fun diving what with all the sprinting keeping up with him, and he really needed to slow down so i could enjoy the dive, too. (he was way way ahead of me all the time, not waiting for me, not really looking at things, just getting an overview of the reef.) not unsafe, just not my style. the second dive, no improvement & i told the dm not to buddy us anymore.

so have a talk, give him a chance if he seems to merit it, but be willing to cut the strings.

 

[spectrum]

So before hand... I will ask what kind of diving have you done in the past few months? How about I lead the dive and you stay on my left. I love to navigate.

After ... depending on the situation

So how do you think that dive went?

or Your style of diving is not compatible with mine, Gosh look at the time I really have to run...

or You really had some problems on that dive. Are you ok? I think you would be better diving with someone more experienced next time. Gosh look at the time I really have to run....

or Gosh look at the time I really have to run....

The predive discussion and making sure someone is leading and that there are expectations is a huge advantage. Too often you can find yourself in the water with someone that thinks it's a free for all. It's your leisure time, it's your money do what you can to mitigate risk and ensure a good time. Those are all fine approaches to debreifing and in the end you're not married or even engaged a simple thanks for the dive and so long works too. Kudos for having some helpful options out there.

Pete

 

[ev780]

Your style of diving isn't compatible with mine. I don't think we should dive together anymore. Lets just be friends

LOL. And seal it by saying "I love you but I'm not in love with you".

To the OP: It's great that you can take this as a learning experience for yourself. We get these real life "opportunities" to learn, and the more you can take away the better.

BWHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! The diving equivalent of its not you, its me!! Which really means its you not me.

Jeff Foxworthy version. I need my space.....without you in it!!!

 

[flots am]

you have an instabuddy and come out after a horrible dive.

For instance they forgot to turn their tanks on, took a bad compass reading and went west instead of east and swam away to fast to be caught up with to correct the heading (twice - second time I was able to grab, stop and reorient), lost buoyancy control in a major rapid ascent to the surface kind of way, had a panic attack because they were down to 500 psi and was going to blow the safety stop (which I insisted we do), even though they had a pony bottle and I had 1600 psi in my tank.
All in one dive.

I like Wookie's answer.

Especially when new, your dives will be safer with a well trained buddy. However your dives will be actively more dangerous when diving with a disaster. If you know this ahead of time, you'll be safer with a better buddy or if you decide to not dive and just snorkel around the boat. At your current level I'd recommend diving with a good buddy or telling the captain you've decided to snorkel instead.

Also, you get to have input into the dive plan. I'll generally dive with almost anybody, but reserve the right to pick the dive site. You don't have to be obvious about it, but if your buddy looks like a disaster waiting to happen, when you discuss the dive plan, you can say "I'm going to go over there (point to somewhere shallow or close to shore) and watch the fish hanging out on that coral". That way "getting lost" is impossible because you're not going anywhere, bolting for the surface just means a faster than recommended ascent from 15' and running out of air is pretty much impossible.

If you're ever on a dive and someone unexpectedly looks like they're trying out for a Darwin Award and you don't feel comfortable, just thumb the dive. If they don't follow, that's their problem. You'll be back on the boat, alive and well.

However I will say that sometimes I'm just burned out and don't want to deal with it, in which case, the solo card comes out, and me and my dive flag go off for some "quiet time".

flots.

 

[ladyfishdvr]

A solo card will take me some time to get, but that is my ultimate goal.

 

[flots am]

i only had similar stuff happen once - instabuddy on a liveaboard (not frank's). he was *so fast* the first dive.

I had one of those when I was new. It was on a dive from John Pennekamp. My buddy took off like a shot and I had no interest in following him out into the Atlantic, so I went back to the boat.

The captain said "Where's your buddy?" I said "If you give him an hour, I'm guessing the Bahamas".

He pointed to another set of bubbles and said "buddy up with them."

When my "buddy" came back, he got to watch everybody else dive and wasn't allowed to leave the boat.

flots.