It seems the Reactivate was insufficient for your needs. Some take the full class after that many years off.....equipment has changed, best practices have changed, your body has changed.
I'm still unsure about your story:
You last dived in 1997. You took a Reactivate this year, presumably in a pool, and needed 12 lbs. Then, you went back to the pool and needed 16 lbs. Then you went to the ocean and needed more than 16 lbs, and seemed surprised at this. You had a buddy, who was apparently useless; no weight to offer, no info on your depth, kinda like he was not there.
Am I missing something?