Scuba Limericks

[kent_1848]

I once dove the ship wreck Christine.
The sea life near her was pristine.
But when I looked to my side,
and the Jewfish said "Man what a ride"
I knew then it was only a dream.

 

[wetrat]

kent you rock!! Thanks. OK here goes another one:

There once was a diver named Larry
Who decided that he should get married
On a dive boat in Truk
He met a woman named Chuck
But decided that she was too hairy

....or was Chuck really a woman? :11: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!:scared:

 

[H2Andy]

nice one, wetrat.... very nice

 

[wetrat]

Thanks Andy. You're a great limmerickercizer yourself. Well, the muse has struck again...

There once was a diver named Howard
Who wore all his gear as he showered
He said with a grin
As he dragged his gear in
This way I can't be devoured

 

[Kevfin]

There once was a diver named Stu
Who before each dive would sniff glue
He dove at great depth, for the narcotic effect
and now his diving days are through

 

[Kim]

A guy heard one day about DIR
So he thought that he'd give it a whir
He stayed up all night
Read an internet site
But by morning his mind was a blur

 

[Kevfin]

There once was a diver named Randy
who thought sea creature sex was dandy
searching for a more sensual feel
he tried his charms on a moray eel
now his friends call him Sandy

.
.
.
...with apologies to kent_1848 (see post #50 above)

 

[Kevfin]

Okay, last one (for now)...
.
For DIR you must dive smart
Don't be gett'n your fins and mask
from a local K-Mart
If my advice you don't heed
or follow my lead
The guys on ScubaBoard
will surely tear you apart

 

[H2Andy]

there was a young diver from PADI
who learned his diving in Cali
when with his dry suit
he showed up in Truk
the natives though he was from Bali

 

[idocsteve]

There was a tech diver from Norway,
Who got his doubles caught in a doorway.
Along came his wife,
with a long butchers knife.
There goes the tanks down the hallway!