DivingPrincessE
Contributor
Oooo I got another one
He is not a "one-minute man"
- He is "eager to cuddle"
He is not a "one-minute man"
- He is "eager to cuddle"
Post Your Pretty Funny Stuff Here
- Thread starter sandshaker
- Start date
Please register or login
Welcome to ScubaBoard, the world's largest scuba diving community. Registration is not required to read the forums, but we encourage you to join. Joining has its benefits and enables you to participate in the discussions.
Benefits of registering include
- Ability to post and comment on topics and discussions.
- A Free photo gallery to share your dive photos with the world.
- You can make this box go away
OP
sandshaker
Contributor
ppffftttttttttt.........FUN-KNEE!!!!
m3830431
Contributor
sure.......
m3830431
Contributor
Q: Why are hangovers better than women?
A: Hangovers will go away.
Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A: So they can stand closer to the sink.
Q: How do you know when a women's about to say something smart?
A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."
Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
A: You don't...there's a clock on the oven!
A: Hangovers will go away.
Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A: So they can stand closer to the sink.
Q: How do you know when a women's about to say something smart?
A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."
Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
A: You don't...there's a clock on the oven!
OP
sandshaker
Contributor
OP
sandshaker
Contributor
A cop pulls over a guy.
"Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been smokin pot?"
"Gee, officer," the man says. "Your eyes are awfully glazed -- have you been eating doughnuts?"
"Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been smokin pot?"
"Gee, officer," the man says. "Your eyes are awfully glazed -- have you been eating doughnuts?"
santafejoe
Contributor
Craig's List Woman
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all. Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial
interests
PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it. Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful! So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all. Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial
interests
PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it. Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful! So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
m3830431
Contributor
great and true although I don't make 500k so I can only tell from thr tabloids.
m3830431
Contributor
As a painless way to save money, a young couple arranged that every time they have sex the husband puts his pocket change into a china piggy bank on the bedside table. One night while being unusually athletic, he accidentally knocked the bank to the floor where it smashes. To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there are handfuls of five and ten dollar bills. He asks his wife what's up. "Well," she replied, "Not everyone is as cheap as you are."
Surelyshirly
Contributor
- Messages
- 519
- Reaction score
- 8
- # of dives
- 200 - 499
One winter morning a couple is listening to the radio over
breakfast. They hear the announcer say, 'We are going to have 8 to 10
inches of snow today. We are asking everyone to park their car on the
even-numbered side of the street, so there is room for the snowploughs
to get through.'
The wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio
announcer says, 'We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. Today
you must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the
snowploughs can get through.'
The wife goes out and moves her car to the odd- numbered side.
The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio
announcer says, 'We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You
must park .........' Then the power goes out.
The wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she
says,'Honey, I don't know what to do! Which side of the street do I
need to park on so the snowploughs can get through today?'
With the love and understanding in his voice, that all married
men exhibit, the husband says, 'Why don't you just leave it in the
garage this time?'
breakfast. They hear the announcer say, 'We are going to have 8 to 10
inches of snow today. We are asking everyone to park their car on the
even-numbered side of the street, so there is room for the snowploughs
to get through.'
The wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio
announcer says, 'We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. Today
you must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the
snowploughs can get through.'
The wife goes out and moves her car to the odd- numbered side.
The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio
announcer says, 'We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You
must park .........' Then the power goes out.
The wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she
says,'Honey, I don't know what to do! Which side of the street do I
need to park on so the snowploughs can get through today?'
With the love and understanding in his voice, that all married
men exhibit, the husband says, 'Why don't you just leave it in the
garage this time?'
Similar threads
