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The ohno bird
[FONT="]The Ohno Bird can be found in the Paraguay Region of South America.[/FONT]
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[FONT="]The Origin of its' name is quite interesting.[/FONT]
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[FONT="]It has a body span of 8 to 10 Inches, 6 to 8 Inch Wings, 2 Inch Feet and 4 Inch Balls.[/FONT]
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[FONT="]Each time it comes in for a landing it goes " Oh No, Oh No !!! ".[/FONT]
[FONT="]The Ohno Bird can be found in the Paraguay Region of South America.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]The Origin of its' name is quite interesting.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]It has a body span of 8 to 10 Inches, 6 to 8 Inch Wings, 2 Inch Feet and 4 Inch Balls.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Each time it comes in for a landing it goes " Oh No, Oh No !!! ".[/FONT]
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it.
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his PROFILE."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "Thisis your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
He quickly adds "...think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm...the suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer...wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it...it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear!"
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his PROFILE."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "Thisis your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
He quickly adds "...think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm...the suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer...wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it...it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear!"
pidgiepoo
Contributor
Husband calling wife from hospital:
> Wife
> Hello ?
> "Honey it's me. I don't want to alarm you but I was hit by a car as I was
> leaving the office. Paula brought me to the hospital
> They have checked me over and done some tests and some x-rays.
>
> The blow to my head was severe. Fortunately it did not cause any serious
> internal injury.
> However I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in the left leg, and
> they think they may have to amputate my right foot.
> Wife
> "Who is Paula?"
> And if you find that hard to believe, you've never been married
> Wife
> Hello ?
> "Honey it's me. I don't want to alarm you but I was hit by a car as I was
> leaving the office. Paula brought me to the hospital
> They have checked me over and done some tests and some x-rays.
>
> The blow to my head was severe. Fortunately it did not cause any serious
> internal injury.
> However I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in the left leg, and
> they think they may have to amputate my right foot.
> Wife
> "Who is Paula?"
> And if you find that hard to believe, you've never been married
Wow! :shelli:
A husband and wife were trying to set up a new password to their computer.
A husband, "Put 'MYP*NIS' " and the wife fell on the ground laughing - - because on screen was error, "Error. Not long enough."
A husband and wife were trying to set up a new password to their computer.
A husband, "Put 'MYP*NIS' " and the wife fell on the ground laughing - - because on screen was error, "Error. Not long enough."
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