Post Your Pretty Funny Stuff Here

[pidgiepoo]

Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. [FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]One student said to his friend:"I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."

The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."

Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him And one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"

The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think." The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome."

The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."

The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."

The old man said, "You thought ... but you are wrong."

So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"

The old man said,

"Well ... I thought it was gas ... but I was wrong too!"
[/FONT]

 

[Jax]

Why woman are different from men and vice versa By Amanda Gore - YouTube

 

[pidgiepoo]

Barack & Michelle Obama are at the White Sox game,sitting in the 1st row with the Secret Service directly behind them. One of theSecret Service agents leans forward & says something to the President.
Barack stares at the guy, looks atMichelle, looks back at the agent, & shakes his head"no" violentl
The agent then says, "Mr.President, it was a unanimous request, from the owner of the team down to thebat boy. And...the fans would love it!"
So, Barack shrugs his shoulders andsays, "If that's what the people want."
He gets up, grabs Michelle by hercollar & the seat of her pants, & throws her rightover the wall into the field.
She gets upkicking, swearing, & screaming. The crowd goes wild,cheering, applauding, & high-fiving.
Barack is bowing & smiling,& leans over to the agent & says, "You wereright, I would have never believed that!"
Then noticing the agent has gonetotally pale, Barack asks what is wrong.
The agent replies, "Sir, Isaid, they want you to throw out the first PITCH!"

 

[scallop]

Barack & Michelle Obama are at the White Sox game,sitting in the 1st row with the Secret Service directly behind them. One of theSecret Service agents leans forward & says something to the President.
Barack stares at the guy, looks atMichelle, looks back at the agent, & shakes his head"no" violentl
The agent then says, "Mr.President, it was a unanimous request, from the owner of the team down to thebat boy. And...the fans would love it!"
So, Barack shrugs his shoulders andsays, "If that's what the people want."
He gets up, grabs Michelle by hercollar & the seat of her pants, & throws her rightover the wall into the field.
She gets upkicking, swearing, & screaming. The crowd goes wild,cheering, applauding, & high-fiving.
Barack is bowing & smiling,& leans over to the agent & says, "You wereright, I would have never believed that!"
Then noticing the agent has gonetotally pale, Barack asks what is wrong.
The agent replies, "Sir, Isaid, they want you to throw out the first PITCH!"

Not a baseball fan at all, but I would pay to see that

 

[Insta-Gator]

Did you ever wonder why earrings became so popular with men?

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.

The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."

The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"

"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."

 

[pidgiepoo]

> WEBSTER'S HAS ADDED A NEW WORD JUST FOR SENIORS
>
> Exhaustipated
>
> Too tired to give a ****.

---------- Post added December 11th, 2012 at 02:23 PM ----------

Effective Jan 1, 2013

There will be a 50% surtax on aspirin as a result of Obamacare.The only explanation given was that they are white and they work.

 

[SC_Hoaty]

 

[pidgiepoo]

> Not the Hospital's Fault!*
>
> A recent article in the *Express & Star* reported that a woman has sued her
>
> local hospital, saying that after her husband was treated there recently, he
>
> had lost all interest in sex.
>
>
>
> A hospital spokesman replied, "The man was actually admitted in
>
> Ophthalmology - all we did was correct his eyesight

 

[mlkco]

Dear Santa,
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 5 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.
Merry Christmas,
Timmy Jones

Dear Timmy,
Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.
Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus

Mr. Claus,
Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs. nice" contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?
Respectfully,
Tim Jones

Mr. Jones,
While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorneys have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.
Very Truly Yours,
S Claus

Now look here Fat Man,
I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat a** and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!
T-Bone

Listen Pizza Face,Seriously???
You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny g-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius?

You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your sh** wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in your a** and then walk it dry.
Chew on that, Petunia.
S Clizzy

Dear Santa,
Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.
Timmy

Timmy,
That's what I thought you little basta**.
Santa

 

[Doc Harry]

True story:

A 92-year old man told me why he doesn't need Viagra.

He said, "I don't need Viagra! Know why? Because I got me a younger woman! My girl is only 86."