wstein
Contributor
I am guessing alabama?
Post Your Pretty Funny Stuff Here
- Thread starter sandshaker
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Fish_Whisperer
Contributor
- Messages
- 6,317
- Reaction score
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- # of dives
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Top Discovery Channel Rejects:
The Top 9 Programs Rejected by the Discovery Channel
9> The Universe's Wimpiest Supernovas
---
8> Amoebas, Amoebas, Amoebas!
--
7> Colonoscopy: One Small Camera, One Large Intestine
--
6> BUM-LOG - Building Ugly Motorcycles by Loud Obnoxious Guys. Sorry, we already have six shows like this.
--
5> Appraise My Goat
--
4> World's Fastest Sloths
--
3> American Chopper: Jeffrey Dahmer
--
2> Bibliography
--
and the Number 1 Program Rejected by the Discovery Channel...
1> An Inconvenient Tooth: Orthodontics in the 21st Century
The Top 9 Programs Rejected by the Discovery Channel
9> The Universe's Wimpiest Supernovas
---
8> Amoebas, Amoebas, Amoebas!
--
7> Colonoscopy: One Small Camera, One Large Intestine
--
6> BUM-LOG - Building Ugly Motorcycles by Loud Obnoxious Guys. Sorry, we already have six shows like this.
--
5> Appraise My Goat
--
4> World's Fastest Sloths
--
3> American Chopper: Jeffrey Dahmer
--
2> Bibliography
--
and the Number 1 Program Rejected by the Discovery Channel...
1> An Inconvenient Tooth: Orthodontics in the 21st Century
santafejoe
Contributor
Good one
OP
sandshaker
Contributor
wstein:
Congratualtions steiny..that is correct...tell him what he won BOB....
Fish_Whisperer
Contributor
- Messages
- 6,317
- Reaction score
- 23
- # of dives
- 50 - 99
Great Moments In History Gone Oh-So-Wrong:
"Achoo!!!! Bruti?"
"Great Caesar!! Have a tissue!"
ba-dum-PSH!
"Achoo!!!! Bruti?"
"Great Caesar!! Have a tissue!"
ba-dum-PSH!
Diver Dennis
Contributor
I got this in an email this morning...
>Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is
>to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
>Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom
>Cruise?"
>"No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Dave
>and
>his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and Tom Cruise
>shouts, "Dave! What's happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!
>Although impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical.
>
>After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing
>Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says.
>"President Bush," his boss quickly retorts.
>
>"Yup," Dave says, "Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington." And off they
>go. At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his
>boss over, saying, "Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a
>meeting
> but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first
>and
>catch up."
>
>Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After
>they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts
>to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss
>replies.
>"Sure!" says Dave. I've known the Pope for years." So off they fly to Rome.
>
>Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican when Dave
>says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these
>people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and
>I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." He disappears into the
crowd>headed towards the Vatican.
>
>Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony,
>but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack
>and is surrounded by paramedics. Making his way to his boss' side, Dave
>asks
>him, "What happened?"
>
>His boss looks up and says, " It was the final straw - you and the Pope
>came
>out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who the hell is that on the
>balcony with Dave?"
>Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is
>to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
>Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom
>Cruise?"
>"No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Dave
>and
>his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and Tom Cruise
>shouts, "Dave! What's happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!
>Although impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical.
>
>After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing
>Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says.
>"President Bush," his boss quickly retorts.
>
>"Yup," Dave says, "Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington." And off they
>go. At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his
>boss over, saying, "Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a
>meeting
> but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first
>and
>catch up."
>
>Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After
>they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts
>to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss
>replies.
>"Sure!" says Dave. I've known the Pope for years." So off they fly to Rome.
>
>Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican when Dave
>says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these
>people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and
>I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." He disappears into the
crowd>headed towards the Vatican.
>
>Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony,
>but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack
>and is surrounded by paramedics. Making his way to his boss' side, Dave
>asks
>him, "What happened?"
>
>His boss looks up and says, " It was the final straw - you and the Pope
>came
>out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who the hell is that on the
>balcony with Dave?"
OP
sandshaker
Contributor
Diver Dennis:I got this in an email this morning...
>Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is
>to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
>Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom
>Cruise?"
>"No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Dave
>and
>his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and Tom Cruise
>shouts, "Dave! What's happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!
>Although impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical.
>
>After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing
>Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says.
>"President Bush," his boss quickly retorts.
>
>"Yup," Dave says, "Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington." And off they
>go. At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his
>boss over, saying, "Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a
>meeting
> but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first
>and
>catch up."
>
>Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After
>they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts
>to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss
>replies.
>"Sure!" says Dave. I've known the Pope for years." So off they fly to Rome.
>
>Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican when Dave
>says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these
>people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and
>I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." He disappears into the
crowd>headed towards the Vatican.
>
>Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony,
>but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack
>and is surrounded by paramedics. Making his way to his boss' side, Dave
>asks
>him, "What happened?"
>
>His boss looks up and says, " It was the final straw - you and the Pope
>came
>out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who the hell is that on the
>balcony with Dave?"
Funny...I emailed this to my friends
OP
sandshaker
Contributor
"Doing it" by profession
Accountants do it with Double Entry
Acupuncturists do it with a small prick
Ambulance drivers come quicker
Australians do it Down Under
Bankers do it with interest
Bartenders do it on the Rocks
Chess players check their Mates
Cops do it with cuffs
DJs do it on request
Deep-sea divers do it under extreme pressure
Dentists do it orally
Detectives do it under cover
Don't do it with Bankers, most of them are Tellers
Firemen do it with a big hose
Frank Sinatra does it his way
Garbagemen come twice a week
Gardeners do it in the bushes
Gas attendants pump all day
Housewives do it for an allowance
Jockeys gallop hard and finish fast
Landlords do it the 1st of every month
Mountain climbers like to be on top
Military do it on command!
Pianists touch, tickle, and titilate!
Pizza delivery men come in 30 minutes or it's free
Truckers do it in the road
Travel agents do it in lots of different places
Waiters and waitresses do it for tips
Watch out for tennis players - love means nothing to them!
Accountants do it with Double Entry
Acupuncturists do it with a small prick
Ambulance drivers come quicker
Australians do it Down Under
Bankers do it with interest
Bartenders do it on the Rocks
Chess players check their Mates
Cops do it with cuffs
DJs do it on request
Deep-sea divers do it under extreme pressure
Dentists do it orally
Detectives do it under cover
Don't do it with Bankers, most of them are Tellers
Firemen do it with a big hose
Frank Sinatra does it his way
Garbagemen come twice a week
Gardeners do it in the bushes
Gas attendants pump all day
Housewives do it for an allowance
Jockeys gallop hard and finish fast
Landlords do it the 1st of every month
Mountain climbers like to be on top
Military do it on command!
Pianists touch, tickle, and titilate!
Pizza delivery men come in 30 minutes or it's free
Truckers do it in the road
Travel agents do it in lots of different places
Waiters and waitresses do it for tips
Watch out for tennis players - love means nothing to them!
m3830431
Contributor
And from a lady. I copied it.
Fish_Whisperer
Contributor
- Messages
- 6,317
- Reaction score
- 23
- # of dives
- 50 - 99
sandshaker:
I can vouch for these! LMAO!!
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