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> >> A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches
> >> I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."
> >>
> >> "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"
> >>
> >> His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to
> >> stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have
>
> >> a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.' It
> >> worked! The headaches are all gone."
> >>
> >> The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."
> >>
> >> His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of
> >> fire in the bedroom these last few years Why don't you go see the
> >> hypnotist and see if he can do anything for t! hat?" The husband agrees
>
> >> to try it.
> >>
> >> Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his
> >> clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts
> >> her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
> >>
> >> He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and
> >> jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never
> >> before.
> >>
> >> His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"
> >>
> >> The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."
> >>
> >> He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even
> >> better than the first time.
> >> The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
> >>
> >> Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
> >>
> >> With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly
> >> follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the
> >> mirror and saying, "She's not my wife. She's not my wife.
> >> She's not my wife!"
> >>
> >> Services will be held on Monday
 
The only cow in a small town in Kentucky stopped giving milk.
The people did some research and found they could buy a cow up in Antigo, Wisconsin, for $200.00.
They bought the cow from Wisconsin and the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were pleased and very happy.
They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it.
They would never have to worry about their milk supply again.
They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow.
However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away.
No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.
The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise, what to do
They told the Vet what was happening.
"Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away.
If he approaches from the back, she moves forward.
W hen he approaches her from the front, she backs off.
An approach from the side and she walks away to the other side."
The Vet thinks about this for a minute and asked,
"Did you buy this cow in Wisconsin?"
The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they bought the cow.
"You are truly a wise Vet," they said.
"How did you know we got the cow in Wisconsin?"
The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye,


"My wife is from Wisconsin."
 
m3830431:
> >> A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches
> >> I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."
> >>
> >> "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"
> >>
> >> His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to
> >> stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have
>
> >> a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.' It
> >> worked! The headaches are all gone."
> >>
> >> The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."
> >>
> >> His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of
> >> fire in the bedroom these last few years Why don't you go see the
> >> hypnotist and see if he can do anything for t! hat?" The husband agrees
>
> >> to try it.
> >>
> >> Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his
> >> clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts
> >> her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
> >>
> >> He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and
> >> jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never
> >> before.
> >>
> >> His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"
> >>
> >> The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."
> >>
> >> He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even
> >> better than the first time.
> >> The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
> >>
> >> Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
> >>
> >> With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly
> >> follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the
> >> mirror and saying, "She's not my wife. She's not my wife.
> >> She's not my wife!"
> >>
> >> Services will be held on Monday
Click to expand...

OMG that is to funny....:D
 
ohmdiver:
Where is wstein with a comment like that??:huh:
Click to expand...

Wait....I just found this thread!!
 
sandshaker:
I don't know???? I have not heard his loud mouth around the board in awhile//:D
Click to expand...


Boy, I can really feel the love.
 
ah ha!!! I knew it!!!
 
Subject: Ted Nugent on Deer Hunting

TED NUGENT ON DEER HUNTING
Ted was being interviewed by a British journalist. Obviously an
anti-hunting advocate.

The journalist asked, "What do you think the last thought is in the head of a deer before you shoot it? Is it, `Are you my friend?` or is it, `Are you the one who killed my brother?'"

Nugent replied, "They aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, 'What am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next,and can I run fast enough to get away. They are very much like the French."
 
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