My wife and I dive.. As do my 3 daughters.. I dont ever see myself pairing up with a variable. Its just not safe.
Everyone has their own comfort level.. I for one know what I am doing and what I am expecting of my equipment. .Therefore I know I need to ensure its upkeep.
But you ARE pairing up with a variable.
Your wife is a variable, as are all of your daughters. Even if you solo dive, you yourself are still a variable. Until you have
been there,meaning in an out-of-air situation, with each and every one of your family members, many times, in every imaginable scenario, you just can't know how they will react. People are perhaps the most variable part of diving, and that includes you.
I don't think that it matters so much what your plan for donating in an OOA situation is. More important is that it is agreed upon in advance, and then practiced a lot. Repetitive practice is what will save the day when someone is panicky.
I don't fault you or anyone else for placing themselves ahead of others when the chips are down. I can imagine a situation where I would attempt to protect my life at the expense of others, especially when they are the ones who were careless with their's. But would you use your knife if one of your daughters was the panicked OOA diver? Would you fight them off if they attempted to seize your primary reg out of your mouth, denying them air until you could give them your octo?
Personally, most of my dive training has included donating my primary which is on a 7 foot hose. This makes one very religious about testing their secondary, as they know that it is theirs if their buddy goes OOA. And, I make it a rule to do a full OOA drill on the first dive of the day with regular buddies, and at the start of every dive with new buddies. Also, the occasional unexpected OOA drill with regular buddies, when it is safe to do so. I still don't think that all of this practice makes us totally immune from panic in the event the real thing happens.
If you like your method of doing things, great. Practice with those who you dive with. But I would recommend that you look into the reasons others do things differently, to see if there might be value there.