Ocean related groaners...

[FinMeister]

It would appear that this thread has finally come down to to my level, i.e., rock bottom...

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

 

[Walter]

EZ, "the one that got away" isn't a pun. That's the way it's usually said. Find a way to substitute "Juan" for "one" or "a way" for "away" and it would be a pun.

WWW™

 

[MrMrEZG]

walter, but would you please let up.

In this thread you have posted 12 times and only 4 of those were jokes (of any kind, but they were funny), the other 8 post, with the exception of one, you were critisizing others about how their post does not meet YOUR definition of a groaner. I know that I do not post here looking for your (nor anyone elses) approval, but by being so critical of everyones post you are only causing them to not want to post here. This was suposed to be a fun topic but you have managed to turn it into a class on the definition of a groaner, according to walter.

I am not looking for an argument here. I am only asking that you lighten up a bit and just accept the humor in whatever form it is delivered.

BTW I have read your trip report and it so made me long to get back to PC.

 

[Walter]

Reminds me of the gentleman from the city who was visiting his cousin on the farm. They were walking across a pasture when he saw a cow. He understood his cousin knew more about cattle, so he asked why that cow didn't have horns.

His cousin said, "There are many reasons cows don't have horns. Some are dehorned, some are born without horns. But the reason that particular cow doesn't have horns is it's a horse."

Post anything you want any place you want. I'll defend your right to do so, but calling a horse a cow doesn't make it one.

This entire thread, with the exception of your complaint, has been light and in fun. I'm still enjoying this thread and I hope you are.

WWW™

 

[scubadweeb]

I found a card the other day. On the front of the card is a picture of a cow standing in the hallway of an apartment building. Apartment doors on both sides of the hallway while the cow has a blank look on his face. You open the card and on the inside it says; "Cow in the hall are you?"

 

[scubadweeb]

Three dogs on the front of the card and each are saying "Thank You" When you open the card it says "poochies Gracias"

 

[joewr]

Scubadweeb,

Over in another thread, didn't you say you had important work to do? Better get started soon!

Joewr...poochies gracias? Que lastima!

 

[scubadweeb]

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" The young man asked, excitedly. "Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet." was the shop owner's reply.

The shop owner held a lighted match under the parrot's left foot. Chet began to sing: "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ..." The shop owner then held another match under the parrot's right foot. Then Chet's tune changed, and the air was filled with: " Silent Night, Holy Night..."

The young man was so impressed that he paid the shop-keeper and ran home as quickly as he could with Chet under his arm. When the wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed. "How beautiful!" She exclaimed, "Can he talk?" "No," the young man
replied, "But he can sing. Let me show you." So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's left foot, as the shop-keeper had shown him, and Chet crooned: "Jingle Bells! Jingle bells!..." The man then moved the lighter to Chet's right foot, and out came: "Silent Night, Holy night..."

The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What if we hold the lighter between his legs?" The man did not know. "Let's try it," he answered, eager to please his wife. So they held the lighter between Chet's legs. Chet twisted his face, cleared his throat, and the little parrot sang out loudly like it was the performance of his life: "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...."

 

[TexasMike]

I was wondering where this thread went to....now I can post my groaner of a joke....


One time in Russia, Rudolph Ivanovich Klemesky was sitting at his kitchen table enjoying his afternoon tea. His wife was getting ready to go out to stand in line for groceries when she asked him what the weather was like.

"It's raining," he said, looking out the window.

"Are you sure it's not snowing?" asked his wife.

"Look," he said in his booming Russian voice, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"

 

[joewr]

Now, for Walter's benefit, I will announce in advance that this is not a "groaner" in the strictest sense of the definition. However, Scubadweeb reminded me of a story...

It seems that there was a scuba teacher who had the habit giving pop quizes to his pupils. So, instead of letting them study a particular subject and giving out the quiz on an announced basis, he would give out said pop quizes. And he referred to them as "quizies", but they tended to be very, very tough: the students really had to struggle with them...

Thus, just as the students were settling in for a "lecture" on equalizing, equipment maintainance, pressure differentials, etc., the teacher would say, "Here is "quizie' for you today!" And all the students would groan... One day, though, he gave out an incredibly difficult "quizie", causing tremendous anxiety amongst the students. In fact, one female student was so upset at how difficult the "quizie" was she said,

"Well, if these are what you call "quizies", I would sure like to see your "testies"!"

Joewr...knowing full well that Walter is waiting in the wings...and backplates...