Ocean related groaners...

[sharpenu]

There was a church that had broken the church bell and was unable to make it sound. They searched the countryside far and wide, yet could not find a single soul who could sound the bell. The pastor was about to give up the search, when one day a well dressed man appeared after the sermon and said that he could handle the job. pastor took the gentleman to the top of the steeple and asked him to demonstrate. The young man got a running start and GONG!!! ran head-first into the church bell. The pastor thought this was a little odd, but agreed to let the man sound the bell for the sunday sermons.

Everything went well for weeks, until one Sunday morning when the man slipped and fell from the steeple to his death. A crowd formed around the young man's body and the pastor was beside himself with grief. He said "This man has been a vital part of our church for weeks and none of really knew him. Does anyone here even know his name?"
From the back of the crowd, a voice cried out "I don't know his name, but his face sure rings a bell!"

 

[sea nmf]

Greeting Card:

Car full of dogs, apparently driving around.

Inside: Still cruizing for sticks

 

[TexasMike]

Two orphans who were identical twins were separated at birth. One went to a family in the Egypt who name him Ahmal, the other went to a family Spain who named him Juan.

After many years go by, the bio-aunts and uncles decide to bring the two back together to meet each other and participate in a family reunion.

So the large family was waiting eagerly at the airport. When Juan stepped off of the jetway, there was much hugging, kissing and carrying on. After a bit, everyone started leaving.

"Wait a second," cried one of the aunt's, "We still need to greet his brother!!"

To which one of the uncles replied, "Why bother? If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal!"

 

[syruss32]

Originally posted by TexasMike
Two orphans who were identical twins were separated at birth. One went to a family in the Egypt who name him Ahmal, the other went to a family Spain who named him Juan.

After many years go by, the bio-aunts and uncles decide to bring the two back together to meet each other and participate in a family reunion.

So the large family was waiting eagerly at the airport. When Juan stepped off of the jetway, there was much hugging, kissing and carrying on. After a bit, everyone started leaving.

"Wait a second," cried one of the aunt's, "We still need to greet his brother!!"

To which one of the uncles replied, "Why bother? If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal!"

I am affraid that you have sunk to a new all time low... Remind me that when we dive together NOT to ask you to tell me any jokes to kill time during the surface interval, as I would not want to be the victim.

 

[scubadweeb]

TexasMike! EW! You should be ASHAMED of yourself! Boo, Hiss! (smirk & giggle). Just teasin' ya, Babe.

Joewr - baaaaaaaaaad joke, Doll. baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad joke. (another smirk & giggle).

 

[scubadweeb]

The last post was sent BEFORE I read "You've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.."

Double eww! groan, groan...

 

[scubadweeb]

I missed the last page of this here thread...wanted to give you a real groan for the "his face rings a bell". Laughed OUT LOUD on that one.

 

[jmsdiver]

Not to be out done:

1) What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? One is dangerous to children the other to carry groceries.

2) One that is told in class:
How do you shoot a blue fish? With a blue fish gun.
How do you shoot a red fish? Betcha think a red fish gun,
but that's not correct. Hold the red fish's nose until it turns
blue and pop it with your blue fish gun.

3) One that happened in a class: The DM arrived late for the classroom session and the instructor asked what happened. The DM proceeded to tell everyone that her gas gauge had been broken for awhile and was going by the odometer as to when to fill up. In retort, the instructor states: Ah, practicing the rhythm method and got burned.

 

[martinjc]

How did the DM become a millionaire carving bookends out of cocnut shells with his dive knife??


'Whittle' by 'Whittle'

 

[Dee]

From SDSailor on Diverlink....


The Most Powerful

One day in the forest, three animals were discussing who among them was the most powerful.

"I am," said the hawk, "because I can fly and swoop down swiftly at my prey."

"That's nothing," said the mountain lion, "I am not only fleet, but I have powerful teeth and claws."

"I am the most powerful," said the skunk, "because with a flick of my tail, I can drive off the two of you."

Just then a huge grizzly bear lumbered out of the forest and settled the debate by eating them all: hawk, lion, and stinker.