My sausage needs Viagra

[The Chairman]

I agree with Jim on that.

In all seriousness, if you read any of the threads where the boat has left a diver on the site, none of them would have happened if they had shot a sausage.

 

[crabbyfiddler]

Slow leaks are a big problem when your sausage gets old, but not unusual. :depressed:

That's why they make Depends.

 

[ev780]

Sometimes my sausage deploys too quickly. This is embarrassing for everyone. But with some practice I get much better at a more controlled, slower, deployment and a happier buddy. Also remember that in certain waters a protective covering is warranted to prevent damage.

As stated, after use wash (preferably a slow soak), stretch the wrinkles out as much as possible and air dry.

 

[Doc]

Always read the warnings and contradictions, adverse reactions, that sort of thing....

 

[Allison Finch]

If you get a good looking female diver to gently stroke your sausage just before deploying it, you will have a much better result. Just saying.......

 

[sheeper]

I've been thinking about my sausage as well. Though I happy with the size, shape and color, when my sausage is deflated and draining, it drains a purple liquid. I don't know why. It has done that for years. Is it time for a new sausage or does it need a strong antibiotic?

 

[Storker]

If your sausage deflates completely before it starts draining, I think you should seriously consider having a specialist taking a look at it.


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[gypsyjim]

Always read the warnings and contradictions, adverse reactions, that sort of thing....

Does that mean that PADI is now offering a specialty patch, for riding the sausage to the surface from depth?

 

[swimrundive]

This thread is too funny!

 

[antattack]

Regarding the OP, if your sausage is going limp, have a go at the dump valves. If they are dirty, you aren't going to want to use your sausage at all, and it will surely go limp and ruin your day. Clean that thing up, keep it ready and you will have many rewards. I'll just share with you the benefits of regular maintenance.

About a year ago, my buddy was probing at the bottom when she found a treasure she was really interested in getting topside. Now, my sausage has a lift rating, so right then and there I gave her my sausage and a double ender. It worked a treat and twenty minutes later when we came up, we were both very happy.

We have fond memories of that dive. I've noticed that she occasionally displays her booty with pride.

Looking back, I'm really happy I kept that sausage at the ready. I'm always playing with my gear, but if I hadn't been confident enough about my sausages readiness I couldn't have given it to my buddy. Think about that- if I thought it wouldn't stay up, I would have only had a momentary glimpse of that brass portal. Instead, we have a memory of teamwork and triumph over the sea. I only need to visit my buddy and I can have a good long look, maybe even touch that brass portal it whenever I want!

Boys and girls, keep your dump valves clean and dive safe!