From one who set one up back in the day when there was no one to help.
Everybody gets spun up over fitting the harness. No worries. Just lace the webbing, kinda fit it so you can reach over your head and barely touch the plate. Make sure it is too loose. Leave plenty of slack on the waist band.
Go diving.
If it really is too loose in the water, it's ok - the waistband and crotch strap will keep it on your back.. Finish your dive and adjust it a little bit on the boat or when you get home. By "adjust it" I mean pull some slack thru the slots and lengthen (or shorten) the waist band. Do the same amount on both sides - unless you have a reason to keep one side looser than the other - like restricted mobility on one side.
Go diving.
Rinse and repeat until it suits you. The harness adjustment is the only real "tricky" part - and it's really not. It's not like it has to be perfect or you can't dive with it. I lost a bunch of weight, and never adjusted my harness. I suspect it was too tight for a long time, and now is just right. Or maybe not. Doesn't really matter.
The placement of D-Rings, weights etc. is a thing you can do after you dive it a few times and see what works for you.
I just got back from my BAIV trip. A guy on the boat said "your BC is too loose!! Doesn't the tank move around on your back??" when I slipped both arms out while sitting on the bench after a dive. So I did the same trick in the water and swam around for a little while, just for him.
I set up my SIL's Christmas present BPW by fitting it very loosely on me. He's 6'5", about 290 lbs. I'm 5'10", about 175 (or so) lbs. Then we went to Bonaire and he dove it without adjustment, except we moved the D-rings around a little. A complete WAG and it worked ok.
As far as packing goes, I always break mine down and roll my wings (I take a backup wing. It's small, light and my whole crew uses the same wing) and pack them separately from my plate.
For weights, I don't use any with a SS plate and full 3mm suit. On occasion I've wanted to pin myself on the bottom so I threaded a couple of 2lb-ers on my waist band. In any case, how much/where you put the weight can be figured out after you dive some with the bpw. Use a weight belt until you decide.
My lovely bride needs 8lbs. She wanted it in pockets on her waistband, so I put a couple of pockets on for 4lbs on each side. My young daughter wanted hers on the lower camband. SIL has a big head and said he felt floaty in the upper body so on the upper camband it went.
Setting up a bpw is not rocket surgery. And the good news is if you mess it up you can fix it - outside of puncturing the wing it's really hard to do permanent damage. My harness has lots of holes melted in it from me experimenting with placement of stuff. Someday I'll probably replace the webbing. If I live long enough.
Oh, we have DSS stuff x 5. Never a problem with wing punctures but it is a thing I think about - thus the spare, and the camband thing is genius.
You can dink around and customize to your heart's content - or not. For me, I love the smell of melting webbing in the morning.
(I will admit that threading the webbing thru the slots is a pita, especially thru those little molded plastic things in the slots on DSS plates)