Long Distance Relationship Advice Please!

[drbill]

Almost all of my relationships are long distance since many women see the 20 mile separation of Catalina Island from the SoCal mainland to be very formidable.

I'm currently in a LDR with a woman temporarily (4-5 months) in Tennessee for family reasons. She does live in SoCal so we will be much closer when she returns. We share many of the same passions (underwater videography, education, marine conservation) which makes it much easier to survive LD.

How did you meet? On Facebook

Did the relationship start out as long distance or local? long distance

What was the distance apart? depends on the route (say 1,500 miles for now)

How often did you see each other? not once the past 3 months

What were the modes of communication? ie voice, text, im, webcam ALL of the "above"

How often did you communicate? daily

What were 3 challenges of a LDR and how did you cope with them? Who says I'm coping with them?

What were 3 things that you did which contributed to the LDR's success? Assured her of my fidelity, expressed my trust in her and was always honest

How long did the LDR last? the rest of my life?

If applicable, how long was it before one of you relocated? only temporary LDR

How did it turn out? Stay tuned and find out

Would you do it again and why/not? Yes... if I have to

 

[drbill]

Loneliness uncured by lots of time with friends. Coping by realizing we'll be together soon. Photographs help. A lot.

Um, and just what KIND of photographs? Inquiring minds want to know. Just teasing ya... glad everything is working out.

 

[DebbyDiver]

Um, and just what KIND of photographs? Inquiring minds want to know. Just teasing ya... glad everything is working out.

LOL, not THAT kind!!! I love to look at pictures of us together. I made two collages for him for Christmas: one of his trip here to meet me and one of my trip to his island home. He loved them. I have the electronic versions on my computer and look at them ALL THE TIME.

 

[gypsyjim]

Considering the distance between Mars and Venus, I think almost any relationship with a member of that other gender risks being a LDR. IJS.

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

My experience with long distance relationships is that they work out pretty well.

I was married for 10 years. Then we got divorced and I moved 40 miles south. Suddenly we were friends again.

Now she's in Africa, and I'm in Seattle ... we've never gotten along better.

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[Wormil]

I still think my advice is best. Date, but bang other people locally and date them too. Don't waste your time locked into something you don't know will work out.

 

[Wormil]

Oh and try to avoid herpes.

 

[ZenDiver.3D]

Oh and try to avoid herpes.

Words to live by, right there..

 

[netmage]

I still think my advice is best. Date, but bang other people locally and date them too. Don't waste your time locked into something you don't know will work out.

Wormil - the mods are watching....

 

[Sas]

-How did you meet? Showed up to a movie to meet my best friend and he was there too, very unsubtle setup, start of 2004

-Did the relationship start out as long distance or local? Local

-What was the distance apart? I moved to Ireland for six months at start of 2005

-How often did you see each other? He came over after five months for two weeks, then I decided to go back to Australia

-What were the modes of communication? ie voice, text, im, webcam? Webcam and telephone.

-How often did you communicate? Once a week, sometimes twice. These days if one of us is away it is every day.

-What were 3 challenges of a LDR and how did you cope with them? Not getting laid regularly was the main thing. Also doubt about long term prospects of relationship given we'd only been together 10 months and I wasn't sure how long we'd be long distance and worrying I was wasting local opportunities. General loneliness as I haven't been single for longer than a couple of days since I was 15 so it was weird not to have someone around.

I am not sure I really coped until he booked a ticket over (about a week before he arrived) then I knew I'd be seeing him again.

-What were 3 things that you did which contributed to the LDR's success? Him coming over and visiting. Me deciding to move back to Australia shortly after that. The fact that we are so well suited to each other in general.

-How long did the LDR last? Six months only as I got sick of it. I moved back for him.

-If applicable, how long was it before one of you relocated? Decided after five months to go back home.

-How did it turn out? Awesome, still together, nearly seven years.

-Would you do it again and why/not? Most definitely not, no more long distance relationships. Can handle two to three months with one of us away (he was in USA for two months this year) but that is all. He nearly took a job for a year in San Fran this year and I would have just moved over there. Life is way too short to spend long periods of time away from a person you love deeply.

-Is there anything you would have done differently, if so, what? I would have opened up our relationship earlier so we could have at least had some local fun whilst we were apart.

LDR SUCK, especially ones that start long distance. They so rarely work out from what I have seen of friends around me. My relationship was difficult when I was away and I think it was just a bit of luck that it worked out as our relationship was very new back then and I was also young (19). Do not recommend.