Little girls and makeup

[Amberjack]

I keep reading this thread, because I find the different perspectives so interesting. I must admit, I am a bit terrified of having daughters, because I don't know how well I would handle a situation like the OP's. I get what those of you in the "It's no big deal camp" are saying, but I admit, the whole issue strikes a major nerve with me.

I was lucky enough to grow up with a mom who never (literally) wore make-up - she just couldn't be bothered. I think I got about to high school before the realization of how important appearance was dawned on me. And then, of course, came the wave of insecurities and the self-doubt that makes high school so hard for many girls.

I consider myself lucky that I managed to get almost to my teen years before I started judging myself based on my appearance, instead of my other qualities. It's probably only now, in my thirties, that I've stopped! (And maybe not yet entirely - being 25 weeks pregnant is not good for a girl's ego!)

I think it's really sad that it seems like little girls get so much less time to be blissfully ignorant these days. My friend has a charming, bright, adorable three-year old girl who I absolutely love - I wonder how old she's going to get before someone tells her she's fat. My 6 year old niece, who's goregous and knows it, spends more time in front of a mirror in the morning than I do - when I was her age, you had to hold me down to brush my hair.

All this to say, basically, what Andy said, back there pages and pages ago - something along the lines of what we teach girls to value about themselves - that's why it seems like a big deal to me.

 

[chickdiver]

Reading all of this makes me really happy about my lack of desire to have children .

 

[Amberjack]

Reading all of this makes me really happy about my lack of desire to have children .

Plus, it really gets in the way of the diving...

 

[almitywife]

amber... great post!

 

[shark.byte.usa]

OH Wow, I would have shoved my foot up the teacher's ***.

I have a 11yo daughter (see profile pic), she knows she is not allowed to wear make-up or have painted nails. The thing is she doesn't want to either. She's happy with who she is, being a little girl and is in no hurry to grow up right now and I'm thankful for that. I'm lucky that she is not a "follower" because she has plenty of little friends who are just trying to grow up too fast.

When the time comes that she is mature enough and ready to wear make-up, her mom will teach her how to do it properly so she doesn't look like a little tramp

-Garrett

 

[sea nmf]

She's happy with who she is, being a little girl and is in no hurry to grow up right now and I'm thankful for that. I'm lucky that she is not a "follower" because she has plenty of little friends

When I was a child, it wasn't about "being happy with who I was". The child in the OP case was too young to "be happy with who she is" or unhappy, as the case may be.

I think, for me, it was no different that the boys playing army. It was imagination at work - not sexual.

 

[Amberjack]

I think, for me, it was no different that the boys playing army. It was imagination at work - not sexual.

To me, it's not about being sexual either. It's more about being "pretty" and in my experience, little girls learn pretty quickly that that's what they're supposed to be. Not that pretty is a bad thing, but it shouldn't be the only thing, or even the most important thing.

It's amazing how entrenched "pretty" is. I was playing with a friend's baby girl the other day. She's 6 months old - she looks like a dumpling! And I realize what I'm saying as I'm baby-talking to her: "You're such a pretty girl, aren't you? Yes, you are!" The poor kid, she's only a baby and she's already having the p-word thrown at her.

In any case, I do think it's different from putting on clown makeup, or cat's whiskers, or having face paint at a street fair.

Sorry, I'm shutting up now...

 

[almitywife]

...I think, for me, it was no different that the boys playing army. It was imagination at work - not sexual.

i agree... in my own home the kids are free to dress up, makeup and play all they like... in my own home

its another thing for a paid employee (which a teacher is) to spend her time grooming my child instead of reading a book ... afterall, dont i have a say in what books she is read?

it seems to have been come a makeup/little girls v sexual topic now

what IF the teacher was male?? would such grooming be allowed? hell no... so why if the teacher is female then its ok?

 

[sea nmf]

Almighty,

I do agree. I was responding to how the thread took a turn. I said initially that any parent has the right and responsibility to let the teacher (care-giver - whatever) know what the their boundaries are.

 

[shark.byte.usa]

I think, for me, it was no different that the boys playing army. It was imagination at work - not sexual.

I never said anything about "sexual", how'd you come up with that?

My daughter always played imaginative games, still does, but make-up was never allowed to be a prop or more concisely it was never furnished so it was never an option.

So do you think little girls who are allowed to play with make-up and finger nail polish at an early age are more apt to want to use it earlier than girls who are never introduced to it? I would guess YES.

-Garrett