Wit of the Filipino
By Nury Vittachi
(From THE FAR EASTERN ECONOMIC REVIEW)
THERE'S A SIGN ON Congressional Avenue in Manila that says: "Parking
for Costumers Only." This may be a misspelling of "customer."
But the Philippine capital is so full of theatrical, brightly dressed
individuals that I prefer to think it may actually mean what it says.
This week, we'll take a reading tour of one of the most spirited
communities in Asia. The Philippines is full of wordplay. The local
accent, in which F and P are fairly interchangeable, is often used
very cleverly, such as at the flower shop in Diliman called Petal
Attraction. Much of the wordplay in the Philippines is deliberate,
with retailers favouring witty names, often based on Western
celebrities and movies. Reader Elgar Esteban found a bread shop
called Anita Bakery, a 24- hour restaurant called Doris Day and
Night, a garment shop called Elizabeth Tailoring and a hairdresser
called Felix The Cut.
Smart travellers can decipher initially baffling signs by simply
trying out a Taglish (Tagalog-English) accent, such as that used on
a sign at a restaurant in Cebu: "We Hab Sop-Drink In Can An In
Batol." A sewing accessories shop called Beads And Pieces also makes
use of the local accent.
Of course, there are also many signs with oddly chosen words, but
they are usually so entertaining that it would be a tragedy to "correct"
them. A reader named Antonio "Tonyboy" Ramon T. Ongsiako (now
there's a truly Filipino name) found the following:
In a restaurant in Baguio: "Wanted: Boy Waitress;" on a highway in
Pampanga: "We Make Modern Antique Furniture;" on the window of a
photography shop in Cabanatuan: "We Shoot You While You Wait;" on
the glass wall of an eatery in Panay Avenue in Manila: "Wanted:
Waiter, Cashier, Washier."
Some of the notices one sees are thought-provoking. A shoe store in
Pangasinan has a sign saying: "We Sell Imported Robber Shoes." Could
these be the sneakiest sort of sneakers? On a house in Jaro, Iloilo,
one finds a sign saying: "House For Rent, Fully Furnaced." Tonyboy
commented, "Boy, it must be hot in there."
Occasionally, the signs are quite poignant. Reader Gunilla Edlund
saw one at a ferry pier outside Davao, southern Philippines, which
said: "Adults: 1USD; Child: 50 cents; Cadavers: subject to
negotiation." But most are purely witty, and display a love of
Americana. Reader Robert Harland spotted a bakery named "Bread
Pitt," a Makati fast- food place selling maruya (banana fritters)
called "Maruya Carey," a water-engineering firm called "Christopher
Plumbing," a boutique called "The Way We Wear," a video rental shop
called "Leon King Video Rental," a restaurant in the Cainta district
of Rizal called "Caintacky Fried Chicken," a local burger restaurant
called "Mang Donald's," a doughnut shop called "MacDonuts," a shop
selling lumpia (meat parcels) in Makati called "Wrap and Roll," and
two butchers called "Meating Place and Meatropolis."
Tourists from Europe may be intrigued to discover shops
called "Holland Hopia" and "Poland Hopia." Both sell a type of
Chinese pastry called hopia. What's the story? The names are
explained thus: Holland Hopia is the domain of a man named Ho and
Poland Hopia is run by a man named Po.
People in the Philippines also redesign English to be more
efficient. "The creative confusion between language and culture
leads to more than just simple unintentional errors in syntax, but
in the adoption of new words," says reader Rob Goodfellow. He came
across a sign that said "House Fersallarend." Why use five words
(house for sale or rent) when two will do? Tonyboy Ongsiako explains
why there was so much wit in the Philippines. "We come from a
country where you require a sense of humour to survive," he
says. "We have a 24-hour comedy show here called the government and
a huge reserve of comedians made up mostly of politicians and bad
actors."
) I'm not.
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