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Could it be possible that she is truly disappointed in how the friendship is turning out, that the trip gets cancelled because she is seeing someone else? I would be... if I thought my friend was nice to me as I helped him with his dog but now I suddenly realise that it wasn't the friendship.
i am surprised that so many people are saying she is a "user."
i don't know... it just sounds like she wants to make sure
there is an understanding that she is not romantically
interested.
This is a very tough line to toe. I have been in the situation where a friend was interested in me romantically, but the feeling was not mutual. I was torn between remaining his friend and bowing out, avoiding any pain I may cause him. I became fairly withdrawn from him for a time, trying to avoid giving him the wrong idea. I cared about him a lot, and in the end, we remained friends, (albeit somewhat more distant), but I had to be very clear with him about that. Several times. He tried to get romantic with me on several occasions, with my being fairly diplomatic about extricating myself from the situation. Finally, I had to be less than diplomatic about it, and he finally got the idea. That made it fairly excruciating for both of us. He was hurt, and for a time, extremely angry with me. I felt awful about that, since I had not done anything wrong and he was someone I really wanted in my life. It all seemed very unfair. He eventually cooled off and saw the situation for what it was.
This is not her fault, and nobody should be calling her a "user". In fact, nobody's at fault here. It's just the way it is.
I have also been on the other end of that, too, and that's hard, but I remembered that I did not want to be involved with someone who did not want to be involved with me. Capiche?
H2Andy has made some good points... and she should have told you earlier. Well, at least she did not lie or tell you after she flown to see you, did the course, etc.
I agree that Andy has made good points, he seems to be such a wise man.
Depending on the type of person she is, she may have thought that the flight and the course were because you were thankful to her for babysitting/ escorting Cody. Could it be possible that she is truly disappointed in how the friendship is turning out, that the trip gets cancelled because she is seeing someone else? I would be... if I thought my friend was nice to me as I helped him with his dog but now I suddenly realise that it wasn't the friendship.
I think a true friend wouldn't want you to spend that kind of money on a trip especially so you won't get the wrong impression. A good friend would be content with assisting with the dog and insist that you don't go to so much trouble to return the "favor."
Dive lessons aren't cheap, airfare isn't cheap.
Wildcard, only you can really decide what is the best way to handle the situation. The rest of us, well, I am sure that even though we hardly know you, we just don't like to see anyone get hurt or disappointed when they are vulnerable.
Good luck to you however you handle it. But, I think if she is that disappointed that you aren't spending the money for all the lessons and the trip then maybe her friendship is questionable. I would think that if she's a true friend who let you know she has a boyfriend to prevent a misunderstanding with you then she would understand you not paying for her trip because she has a boyfriend. Maybe she'll offer to help get your dog home and at least you will continue a friendship.
** I stand firm that you should spend the money on your dog's trip though. And, buy yourself a new power tool after you go diving.
me and a girl friend are coming over to O'ahu in November and will dive there with Reef Trekkers.. if you're still upset by then, let me know how to reach you and we will come see you. we both kinda had our hearts set on half-nekkid fire-dancer guys but i'm sure we could work something out
Thanks Maggs. Im not upset, just disapointed. It was very clear from the start that we both were going in the same direction. She was planing on coming to see me on her own. I offered to pay for her ticket if she would bring my dog with her.....It is cheaper for me to pay to have things done like that than take time off from work, I wanted to spend some quality time with her and get Cody back with me....Ahhh well, the best laid plans.....
Chainsaw! Oooo! Cool! Gimme gimme! Or give me the nail gun. I would appreciate a concrete drill (variable speed setting) and some really good quality drill bits/ set of screwdriver/philips heads please. I like powertools!
On the other hand I also like Macintosh computers and all Mac hardware, so yes, I'd gladly accept these lovely things with plugs.
Back to the thread, forget the girl, a nicer one will come along. In the meantime, go get your doggie.
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