Randy43068
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Great story!
ghostdiver1957:
Know one of these guys?
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Fish_Whisperer
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LMAO, Ghost!
Some poseur was trying to tell me that he was a Green Beret. I pretended to be hard of hearing and said, "WHAT? You're a "Creme Brulee" you say?!" Then I burst out laughing right in his face. Terminally frustrated, he made a quick retreat and exit. LOL
Some poseur was trying to tell me that he was a Green Beret. I pretended to be hard of hearing and said, "WHAT? You're a "Creme Brulee" you say?!" Then I burst out laughing right in his face. Terminally frustrated, he made a quick retreat and exit. LOL
coach_izzy
Contributor
I have been fortunate and have not run into such types yet. I'm sure they're around the corner, somewhere, but I have yet to meet them. The divers I have met so far have been humble and cool headed, and more than willing to share their experience and wisdom without embellishement.
The ONLY poser I've ever met was a non-diver. It happen at our local sushi joint. I was having dinner at the sushi bar with my wife and a couple of friends. One of them knew that I loved diving and mentioned that one of his employees was a scuba diver, doing crazy depths. "He uses something called trimix" my friend told me. What is trimix anyway? - "Oxygen, Nitrogen, Argon!!" A voice coming from two chairs down interrupted. "You need that below 100 or you could die. Neetrox (the way he said Nitrox) is also good". After that I asked him, "So are you a diver?" Pause, silence... Where did you dive? I asked again. "Well, I read in a book..." "That was not my question, Are you a diver?" "Not really, but I read..." "Hey, can it!, it's rude to butt in into other people's conversations, especially when you don't know what you're talking about" "But I was..." "Excuse me! Could you please let it go" He went back to his food. He nods to me whenever we run into him, but I can feel the daggers coming out of his eyes...
The ONLY poser I've ever met was a non-diver. It happen at our local sushi joint. I was having dinner at the sushi bar with my wife and a couple of friends. One of them knew that I loved diving and mentioned that one of his employees was a scuba diver, doing crazy depths. "He uses something called trimix" my friend told me. What is trimix anyway? - "Oxygen, Nitrogen, Argon!!" A voice coming from two chairs down interrupted. "You need that below 100 or you could die. Neetrox (the way he said Nitrox) is also good". After that I asked him, "So are you a diver?" Pause, silence... Where did you dive? I asked again. "Well, I read in a book..." "That was not my question, Are you a diver?" "Not really, but I read..." "Hey, can it!, it's rude to butt in into other people's conversations, especially when you don't know what you're talking about" "But I was..." "Excuse me! Could you please let it go" He went back to his food. He nods to me whenever we run into him, but I can feel the daggers coming out of his eyes...
Hammerhead
Contributor
Sick, I know, but a friend of mine who dived with Jon Bennett has been known to say (after a few beers): -
"Sheck Exley's Dead, Jon Bennett's dead, Dave Shaw's dead, Cousteau's dead and I'm not feeling too good myself!"
"Sheck Exley's Dead, Jon Bennett's dead, Dave Shaw's dead, Cousteau's dead and I'm not feeling too good myself!"
ghostdiver1957
Contributor
One time I was talking to a guy that thought he knew everything about diving... Now keep in mind I can say anything with a straight face and get people to believe it... but this is still funny...
We were talking about mixed gas diving and he was espewing the benefits of Nitrox and Trimix and this and that. I walked over (wearing my Instructor shirt) and told him he was way behind the times... everyone I knew was starting to dive the new gas Peon (Pee On.) I explained to him it was a 32% O2 Mix with 10% Peon. He shook his head a few times and laughed, but as I persisted and winked at my friend to chime in, he started to believe it. He called over a few other guys and each time he asked about it I was able to wink the new guy into agreeing without him seeing. We never did tell him we were joking... so about a week later I visited the local dive shop. They were always quick to tell me a story, so this was great.
They were almost in tears (leaughing) telling me how this guy walks in and wanted to get his tanks filled with that new Peon Mix. The shop owner - always quick to take advantage of a situation agrees to hook him up. He takes his tanks in the back of the store and tells the guy to come on back (he'll show him how they create the mix.) He leads him to the bathroom and takes a leak in the toilet... then tells the guy to go in and take a leak (create the mix.) Then he takes the guys tank into the bathroom and shuts the door. A few minutes later he comes out and tells the guy "you're all set." He said the guy was looking at him like he was crazy... and says "You're kidding me right... this is a joke." The shop owner says I figured you were playing a joke on me. You asked for Peon with such a straight face... I was just playing along
We were talking about mixed gas diving and he was espewing the benefits of Nitrox and Trimix and this and that. I walked over (wearing my Instructor shirt) and told him he was way behind the times... everyone I knew was starting to dive the new gas Peon (Pee On.) I explained to him it was a 32% O2 Mix with 10% Peon. He shook his head a few times and laughed, but as I persisted and winked at my friend to chime in, he started to believe it. He called over a few other guys and each time he asked about it I was able to wink the new guy into agreeing without him seeing. We never did tell him we were joking... so about a week later I visited the local dive shop. They were always quick to tell me a story, so this was great.
They were almost in tears (leaughing) telling me how this guy walks in and wanted to get his tanks filled with that new Peon Mix. The shop owner - always quick to take advantage of a situation agrees to hook him up. He takes his tanks in the back of the store and tells the guy to come on back (he'll show him how they create the mix.) He leads him to the bathroom and takes a leak in the toilet... then tells the guy to go in and take a leak (create the mix.) Then he takes the guys tank into the bathroom and shuts the door. A few minutes later he comes out and tells the guy "you're all set." He said the guy was looking at him like he was crazy... and says "You're kidding me right... this is a joke." The shop owner says I figured you were playing a joke on me. You asked for Peon with such a straight face... I was just playing along
Fish_Whisperer
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LMAO, Ghost!! THAT is hilarious!! Especially the mix "creation." *snork*
Boatlawyer
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Too dumb to know whether I've met divers like that, but you may be surprised to learn there are a few like the ones you describe in the legal profession.
As late great grandaddy used to say, "I wish I could by 'em for what they worth and sell 'em for what they think they worth."
As late great grandaddy used to say, "I wish I could by 'em for what they worth and sell 'em for what they think they worth."
Vtdiver2
Contributor
Eh....I've heard that one before*yawn*Fish_Whisperer:
C-Dawg
Had one come in the shop the other day. He was busy last year doing salvage work in fla. Was going to be doing some this winter in Lake Huron. Same as in fla. with his Hooka setup, and 7 mil suit but was looking for a new one cause he bought the one he had used on line and it was about 20 yrs old. Also wanted to know if a pocket weight belt would keep the weights from sliding around. Cause he "uses about 40 lbs" so he can stay down while he's salvaging wrecks. I first met him 3 days prior. He saw the front of my amphibious outfitters shirt, I was wearing a jacket so he could not see the back. He said nice shirt I got the exact same one. I did not say, no you don't cause the EXACT same one is the one I'm wearing. Yours may be like it but it's not exactly the same since you are 3 sizes wider than me. And also because 50% or more of their shirts have the same logo on the front with a different pic on the back. But irregardless of this I tried very hard and succeeded in not asking him why, if he was a salvage diver, he was collecting carts at Sam's Club cause if he wants to drop a few hundred at the shop on a suit and weight belt who am I to stop him. I did manage to get it out that he should try to dive the Edmond Fitzgerald while he's in Lake Huron. He said he'd try but was not sure cause he'd be real busy.
ghostdiver1957
Contributor
Yeah.. you can always tell an idiot.
I was on a Liveaboard one time talking with a fellow from Canada (this should explain everything.) We were talking about wrecks we had dove when suddenly it dawned on me that every wreck he dove was the most difficult wreck in the world - only for experienced divers like him.
He really got me when he explained to me that he had recently penetrated the Titanic. I played along with him, telling him how I had dove that one myself. He really began telling me about what he had seen inside and how many hazards there were... asking me if I had had any problems when I was down there. I told him no, I just zoomed down had a look and came right back up... seen one wreck seen ema ll I said. As I got up to get a drink I turned to him and asked if he had taken any photos of the Titanic while he was down there... he said no, his camera had broken on that trip. I asked him if he had gotten a new camera for this trip and he said he had... I asked what kind and he showed me this beautiful $14.99 Underwater Walmart Camera... said it was the same kind he had taken to the Titanic!
With as straight a face as I could keep I told him I had the same problem with mine on the Titanic... my pics didn't turn out either. I couldn't get back to my room fast enough before I burst out laughing so hard I was snorting and crying. It took me five minutes to recover to the point I could re-tell the story to the Captain... Keep an eye on that guy I told him...
I was on a Liveaboard one time talking with a fellow from Canada (this should explain everything.) We were talking about wrecks we had dove when suddenly it dawned on me that every wreck he dove was the most difficult wreck in the world - only for experienced divers like him.
He really got me when he explained to me that he had recently penetrated the Titanic. I played along with him, telling him how I had dove that one myself. He really began telling me about what he had seen inside and how many hazards there were... asking me if I had had any problems when I was down there. I told him no, I just zoomed down had a look and came right back up... seen one wreck seen ema ll I said. As I got up to get a drink I turned to him and asked if he had taken any photos of the Titanic while he was down there... he said no, his camera had broken on that trip. I asked him if he had gotten a new camera for this trip and he said he had... I asked what kind and he showed me this beautiful $14.99 Underwater Walmart Camera... said it was the same kind he had taken to the Titanic!
With as straight a face as I could keep I told him I had the same problem with mine on the Titanic... my pics didn't turn out either. I couldn't get back to my room fast enough before I burst out laughing so hard I was snorting and crying. It took me five minutes to recover to the point I could re-tell the story to the Captain... Keep an eye on that guy I told him...
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