JUST FOR GIRLS: Do you feel creeped out when...?

[northernone]

I have "liked" Marie 13 posts, "followed" Marie13 briefly, invited Marie 13 to Northeast to see our Harbor Seals, and yet I am a 54 year old married woman who is not creeping on Marie 13. Now, if I ever sent her dead squid in the mail, she would be justified in mentioning the fire arms, and my name, in the same sentence. But not for this friendly overture.
But nice men might want to take a bit more time and and go to trade show -meet ups for neutral ground.

I too have liked, followed and even offered diving to DOZENS of fellow divers. Lucky, apparently, it wasn't creepy behavior.

Old MEN have even offered suggestions what I should wear and I've discussed what's under my wetsuit. Others have wanted to meet me in secluded locations at night, carrying a knife or two... intending to "dive".

Satire aside; I love the friendly nature of divers on this forum and how happily most of the time we share our enjoyment of diving without the bickering of genders, religions or politics clouding our conversations.

I am a male, if anyone else is uncomfortable based on my interactions feel free to let me know or report it to the mods.

Dive happy,
Cameron

 

[Schwob]

So, I have liked posts.
I had no idea it could be construed as liking the person behind a post. I for the most part would have no idea who that person is if the person looks like the avatar (hint, I am ever so slightly fatter than a cuda, but the prevailing color tone in the avatar accurately reflects my mood after too many meetings...).

So, I am really curious, who here thinks that liking a post would be the same thing as liking the poster?

Edit: pushed the wrong button before I was done - continuing:

In particular I am glad that fabulous famous Marie13 did not hang me out to dry when I liked one of her posts and then contacted her after realizing she is in the same neck of the woods and asked her if she would like to hang out with my wife. What could possibly have gone wrong - me thinks after having read this thread...!!!
In my / our case it was all about my wife getting a little help and support and motivation to get more comfortable in the water - and I am so glad I made that contact, because the ensuing "snorkling in the pool sessions" made a very notable difference leading to my wife taking her OW class in a week... (and while we are at it, my daughter too...) While the outcome of all that really is uncertain right now, and while it is a (interrupted...) two decade old odyssey, it re-started with "inspiring poster" doing inspiring things, overcoming "hurdles", a way to contact that poster who in the end actually did inspire my wife to try harder and get over her fears.

All that said, if the person the OP feels creeped out by, after "liking her" (I only presume that means liking her post really) and after a PM contact to offer diving together received a "thank you for the kind offer, but no thank you, don't PM again" kind of reply from the OP and nevertheless "did not let go", then I would side with the OP. But if it's just as the OP described in the OP then I am still understanding the OP's feelings / suspicions in the matter (after all, I got a wife and have a daughter and with that a low "creep tolerance" is mandatory), but I don't really see that any boundaries would have been crossed just by that. I can see a neutral inquiry about how others and particularly other woman feel about it on the board as a fair question. Airing somebody out by name as was done originally seemed a bit (if all was just as per OP) "reverse-creepy" to me - and I would even have told my daughter so. I would have told her to work it out with the person via PM and only if that fails then pull out the guns as necessary.

 

[northernone]

So, I have liked posts.

-Snip-

So, I am really curious, who here thinks that liking a post would be the same thing as liking the poster?

Perhaps we're simply too -insert reason- for appreciating the teen drama of "likes" and who follows who or what's the hidden message in a conversation about diving.



Though.... given the amount of likes I've given some of you old barnacles.... I sure hope I've not immortalized my desire for a sugar daddy by simply liking what's said.


Maybe I should stay out of this subforum...

Oh well,
Cameron

P.s. I am glad of people with low creep tolerances in the world so thank you.

 

[Schwob]

... some of you old barnacles...

Seems I am slowly but surely realizing I am failing slowly but spectacularly in avoiding to get to old barnacledom...

 

[wolframheart]

Context is everything for me. If someone liked my post, or followed me, or sent me a message (even all three), I wouldn't be offended / creeped out unless context suggested I should be. It seemed the OP was uncomfortable, so in that case I say speak up and tell the other person. If it made her feel uncomfortable than those are her feelings and she has the right to them (maybe she has had some bad / traumatic experiences). I do agree that the best route is not to call the person out publicly by name, but to speak to them and an admin if necessary. My initial reaction was based on a "personal email" being sent, which seemed a bit much (though now it seems it was just a SB message..). I hope this gets resolved for OP and the other member in question and it smooths over.

So, I am really curious, who here thinks that liking a post would be the same thing as liking the poster?

I don't think it's the same. I might say something clever, accurate, or on point to a topic that a stranger likes. That doesn't mean they like me personally, just what I said on a particular topic. Liking / following a person seems more to do with them overall.

 

[RainPilot]

So they can or can't view reported conversations? I am going to assume they can?

As a mod I have zero access to private conversations. If someone hits “report” on a segment of a conversation then we can see that segment only.

It is challenging since without any context of what was said before and after there’s a lot of to and fro usually.

 

[bowlofpetunias]

Perhaps we're simply too -insert reason- for appreciating the teen drama of "likes" and who follows who or what's the hidden message in a conversation about diving.



Though.... given the amount of likes I've given some of you old barnacles.... I sure hope I've not immortalized my desire for a sugar daddy by simply liking what's said.


Maybe I should stay out of this subforum...

Oh well,
Cameron

P.s. I am glad of people with low creep tolerances in the world so thank you.

:lol:I think you may have hit the nail on the head here. as has @wolframheart we have no idea what the OP's experiences have been for her to feel as she did. Just better to address the discomfort in pm or by letting staff know. It could have been a knee jerk reaction. She also may not have really thought about how her naming the person might impact him.. Sometimes it is hard to read intent in printed words.

I have had a few people like my posts, follow me and contact me about getting together to dive. I have also been on the other side of the sequence. I have got to dive with some amazing people through initial contact on SB. Interesting I know of a number of people who "met" on SB and developed lifelong relationships. I remember reading a thread about it but I can't find it right now.

I tend to "follow" people who often provide valuable information that makes me think!

 

[Marie13]

Yes, context is everything.

 

[bowlofpetunias]

So, I have liked posts.
I had no idea it could be construed as liking the person behind a post. I for the most part would have no idea who that person is if the person looks like the avatar (hint, I am ever so slightly fatter than a cuda, but the prevailing color tone in the avatar accurately reflects my mood after too many meetings...).

So, I am really curious, who here thinks that liking a post would be the same thing as liking the poster?

Edit: pushed the wrong button before I was done - continuing:

In particular I am glad that fabulous famous Marie13 did not hang me out to dry when I liked one of her posts and then contacted her after realizing she is in the same neck of the woods and asked her if she would like to hang out with my wife. What could possibly have gone wrong - me thinks after having read this thread...!!!
In my / our case it was all about my wife getting a little help and support and motivation to get more comfortable in the water - and I am so glad I made that contact, because the ensuing "snorkling in the pool sessions" made a very notable difference leading to my wife taking her OW class in a week... (and while we are at it, my daughter too...) While the outcome of all that really is uncertain right now, and while it is a (interrupted...) two decade old odyssey, it re-started with "inspiring poster" doing inspiring things, overcoming "hurdles", a way to contact that poster who in the end actually did inspire my wife to try harder and get over her fears.

All that said, if the person the OP feels creeped out by, after "liking her" (I only presume that means liking her post really) and after a PM contact to offer diving together received a "thank you for the kind offer, but no thank you, don't PM again" kind of reply from the OP and nevertheless "did not let go", then I would side with the OP. But if it's just as the OP described in the OP then I am still understanding the OP's feelings / suspicions in the matter (after all, I got a wife and have a daughter and with that a low "creep tolerance" is mandatory), but I don't really see that any boundaries would have been crossed just by that. I can see a neutral inquiry about how others and particularly other woman feel about it on the board as a fair question. Airing somebody out by name as was done originally seemed a bit (if all was just as per OP) "reverse-creepy" to me - and I would even have told my daughter so. I would have told her to work it out with the person via PM and only if that fails then pull out the guns as necessary.

This post has really got me thinking about the people I met through SB that have enriched my life so much. I finally found the thread about people who met through SB but so many of them aren't active any more I decided to start another thread ScubaBoard's greatest gift Obviously not everyone who posts here is worth meeting in the real world. Perhaps the OP will find some comfort when she sees that many of us have been fortunate enough to connect with each other after "meeting" here.

 

[diver0008]

I let them know that their behavior is making me uncomfortable. If you don't, it's likely they'll continue similar behavior with other women.

I am a man. I am ignoring the OP's request for "just the girls".

In my experience, trying to alter human nature so that it conforms to your ideals will put you in a box.

It is likely that the person who is being "invasive" will continue his behaviour in other places despite any tactics that you attempt.

He may see nothing wrong in reaching out in social media.

If you ignore him, or say no thank-you, he will probably go away.

In many cases, if you fight, they will fight back.

In an administrated domain, abuse is dealt with.

When you put yourself out in public, expecting only the attention that you want is unrealistic.

None of this is secret knowledge.

I personally have made some very nice contacts here. There are others who assuredly rub me the wrong way, as I do them. Such is the diversity of the human social experience.

I really don't know what happenned to respectfully ignoring things.

Bubbles pop when they reach the surface.