Inappropriate customer

[wetb4igetinthewater]

I rarely give a Bullseye to wetb4, but I did on this one.

Yeah, the two of us being in agreement on anything must be the seventh sign.

There you go folks. The world is about to end.

 

[Capt Jim Wyatt]

Definitely always speak up, and speak up loudly. Make sure as many people can hear you. If your instructor or dive center does not back you up, get out of there.

Yep, loudly.

I would also go to the local police station and speak to someone about the next time, as there unfortunately will likely be a next time, to find out where is the line where there are no legal repercussions for you. So when it happens, you can go right up to that edge.

Yep

 

[Brett Hatch]

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[mcohen1021]

Unfortunate. And this is one of those cases where you could use a formal process for reporting incidents.

I have to go through safe sport training each year and a background check every 2 years for USA waterski

 

[NothingClever]

@kastuk

I’m sorry this ugly incident disrupted the happiness you find in diving.

Lots of advice here so I won’t try to give you more. I think seeking the advice of other women was wise.

I bet you’ll find your voice to handle this with confidence if this were to happen again.

 

[johndiver999]

Unfortunate. And this is one of those cases where you could use a formal process for reporting incidents.

I have to go through safe sport training each year and a background check every 2 years for USA waterski

You want a formal process set up for reviewing the actions of a customer who is taking scuba lessons?

Do we really expect a certification agency to investigate a complaint by one of their professionals about a customer? Are you suggesting background checks be performed on all customers before they can take scuba lessons? And this is repeated every other year if they seek more training?

If you really want a formal process, how might that complaint investigation proceed... Perhaps.

Please tell me what happened, Answer: "male student said X Y and Z and then he touched me here and there and I felt upset and unsafe".

So did the instructor witness this? Answer: "oh no he did it privately when the instructor wasn't around or able to observe - he was very sneaky".

So did you say ANYTHING to the customer or give him ANY physical sign (or any clue at all) that his off color comments, which eventually escalated to inappropriate behavior, were unwelcome at the time when it occurred? Answer: "oh no, I was uncomfortable and told nobody, (other than file this complaint). I did make a post on the internet about it. I wanted to better understand what the prevailing culture is in diving and to get ideas about how to handle this situation should it arise again".

Afterwards, did you let the instructor or the dive shop know about this problem or ask that you no longer be paired with this particular student in the future? ANSWER: "Oh no, I wasn't completely sure that some of the actions weren't accidental or incidental and I just didn't feel comfortable raising the issue. Plus I thought it might be "unsafe" for me to do so"

What reasonable action do we expect a certification agency to take when two adults are engaged in grab ass in the pool and then afterwards, one of them decides they didn't like it and complains only to the certification agency?

I don't want to sound insensitive, nor imply that anyone should be subject to sexual harassment, but when do we expect people to act like adults?

As a victim of extended and repeated sexual harassment (from a homosexual pedophile), I feel a good bit of sympathy for an adult women who finds herself in a sexually abusive situation and does not have the tools to protect herself from it. However, I don't believe that we should look to a certification agency to remedy this problem.

 

[FreqFlier]

I don't believe that we should look to a certification agency to remedy this problem

100% true IMHO.

In my book it's on the instructor and their dive shop to anticipate and prevent certain things from happening by instructing staff and trainees on procedures of what to do if customers are behaving inappropriately.

 

[rmssetc]

Some thoughts:

It's too late to address the customer directly, and reporting him to his certification agency will likely be of no use.

This incident might motivate the shop to improve their communication with trainees, including developing clear language to give students clear expectations (ie., instructors may need to touch you for your safety, in certain classes -- rescue -- there may be more contact between students and mock victims, guidelines about what kinds of contact are acceptable). That information, coming from the shop to all trainees in advance, removes the burden on individual instructors to develop their own guidelines and may make the student/instructor relationship less confrontational (ie., "these are the shop rules, for every instructor and student and class").

These guidelines may include telling both the student or instructors how to communicate if either feels that there was inappropriate contact -- ie., give some sample language in case of unclear/inadvertent contact ("perhaps XYZ was accidental but...") and let both sides know that the shop management will be quickly brought into the discussion if it's unresolved.

Let both sides know in advance that clearly inappropriate contact won't be tolerated and (possibly) may be referred to authorities -- civil, such as the certification agency, particularly if the contact was from an instructor towards a student, or criminal...depending on the locale, the relationship with government/law enforcement, etc.

That language may help reassure [potential] students or even prevent what seems to be the more frequent (or at least, more frequently reported) situation of an instructor harrasing a student.

 

[BoltSnap]

Some thoughts:

It's too late to address the customer directly, and reporting him to his certification agency will likely be of no use.

This incident might motivate the shop to improve their communication with trainees, including developing clear language to give students clear expectations (ie., instructors may need to touch you for your safety, in certain classes -- rescue -- there may be more contact between students and mock victims, guidelines about what kinds of contact are acceptable). That information, coming from the shop to all trainees in advance, removes the burden on individual instructors to develop their own guidelines and may make the student/instructor relationship less confrontational (ie., "these are the shop rules, for every instructor and student and class").

These guidelines may include telling both the student or instructors how to communicate if either feels that there was inappropriate contact -- ie., give some sample language in case of unclear/inadvertent contact ("perhaps XYZ was accidental but...") and let both sides know that the shop management will be quickly brought into the discussion if it's unresolved.

Let both sides know in advance that clearly inappropriate contact won't be tolerated and (possibly) may be referred to authorities -- civil, such as the certification agency, particularly if the contact was from an instructor towards a student, or criminal...depending on the locale, the relationship with government/law enforcement, etc.

That language may help reassure [potential] students or even prevent what seems to be the more frequent (or at least, more frequently reported) situation of an instructor harrasing a student.

The above statement is very thoughtful and professional without antagonizing anyone.

One must be proactive and "prevent" such incidents before they occur. The management and staff must also consider the "cultural" factor, the variations of what is acceptable and what isn't locally, and where the tourists come from. Tourists come from different countries, cultures, etc., and having a clear and concise policy that is known to everyone makes everyone happy with their safety and dignity protected and respected.

 

[Waterwulf]

Unwanted touching on certain areas of the human body by another person is Sexual Assault and should be treated as such. The first touch may have been an accident. Let it go. The second time is intentional. The third time established a pattern. At the second touching, I would have embarrassed him in public by asking him in a nice but direct voice "Why do you keep trying to touch my butt"? If he had a woman with him, so much the better. If he continued, I would have told him to his face "Don't touch me again". Any touching after that would be met with the statement: "Unwanted touching is Sexual Assault. Stop or I will complain to the authorities". After that, anything you do to him or about him is self defense. I would also advise the people running the show.