Inappropriate customer

[Jim Lapenta]

I used to tell female students to never put up with this.

In the moment, loudly tell them that they don't have the right to touch you like that and to keep their filthy hands to themselves. Make sure others hear it. Shame is a powerful preventative.

File a complaint with the shop/operator and if possible with the police. Will they do anything? Maybe not. But let the shop know you are doing it. That will get their attention.

You could also strap a big knife to your calf and when anyone asks what it's for, tell them "It's for men who don't know how to keep their hands to themselves."

 

[kastuk]

Yes, yes file complaints. Tell the certifying agency. Complain to the dive shop. Pray that the offender dies a horrible death. But never, ever mention or indicate to him in a direct and timely manner that his actions were unwelcome.

He should know better, me telling him puts me at risk. I'm happy for you you don't have to deal with this, but you probably shouldn't say things like this to women who are victims to sexual harassment/assault ever again.

 

[Wheeler925]

I still haven't seen a location, let alone a dive shop or a name..

 

[Sascha314]

Ok tbh I have not read all comments. I am neither an instructor, nor have been actively in this situation (both ways!).

Well actually its not totally true, and tjsts why I elect to post something - also because I am a father and do not want my child to be in such situation.
I once got a massage from a male therapist (i am male as well) and it seemed like he tried to touch me in a nin appropriate way, well using a towel (accident ...).So I cleared my throat and he stopped.

Well I never said a thing and never returned to the place although I was satisified before. Yet I remember it and I always think I should have done or said something.
So to summarize: its your body, your feeling. You felt it that way, and even if it was really unintenionally, he will apologize and then it should be good for both of you. Its your right, you do not have to protect others or put others above your feelings.
Best is to say something directly after surfacing. First time you can make it calm and explain its a training situation and thats not appropriate. In a real emergency if rhings happen quick then it might happen accidentily but for this exercise please focus.
If it were to happen a second time you can get louder or tell the dive shop, because you already have warned him.

And just for completeness I had a female rescue course instructor. We made an exeecise to search her. When we found here she played unconcious (that was not briefed before, so she wanted to put some realism) and I brought her up to the surface. I was a bit concerned to grab her wrong or in an appropriate way. I hope I did not...

 

[kastuk]

I still haven't seen a location, let alone a dive shop or a name..

That doesn't matter?

 

[Searcaigh]

I still haven't seen a location, let alone a dive shop or a name..

Does it matter?

What happened is totally unacceptable wherever it happens!

 

[kastuk]

Ok tbh I have not read all comments. I am neither an instructor, nor have been actively in this situation (both ways!).

Well actually its not totally true, and tjsts why I elect to post something - also because I am a father and do not want my child to be in such situation.
I once got a massage from a male therapist (i am male as well) and it seemed like he tried to touch me in a nin appropriate way, well using a towel (accident ...).So I cleared my throat and he stopped.

Well I never said a thing and never returned to the place although I was satisified before. Yet I remember it and I always think I should have done or said something.
So to summarize: its your body, your feeling. You felt it that way, and even if it was really unintenionally, he will apologize and then it should be good for both of you. Its your right, you do not have to protect others or put others above your feelings.
Best is to say something directly after surfacing. First time you can make it calm and explain its a training situation and thats not appropriate. In a real emergency if rhings happen quick then it might happen accidentily but for this exercise please focus.
If it were to happen a second time you can get louder or tell the dive shop, because you already have warned him.

And just for completeness I had a female rescue course instructor. We made an exeecise to search her. When we found here she played unconcious (that was not briefed before, so she wanted to put some realism) and I brought her up to the surface. I was a bit concerned to grab her wrong or in an appropriate way. I hope I did not...

Sorry for your experience!

Actually that is a good idea - "this is training and you need to be more careful with your hands, though in a real situation your priority is saving a life."

Your situation sounds diff. This man touched me weirdly at the surface multiple times during an explanation that didn't require being touched at all. If it had been something unintentional during the I conscious rescue - very different. Don't worry, but it is good you are being vigilant.

 

[dorsal]

100000% agree with everyone that you need to bring this to both your instructor and shop. A strategic comment to the student like “let’s be careful when doing the clips “ might also be professional and polite.

The rescue course will have hands close to sensitive upper chest areas to unclip the BC, but there is a stark difference between unclipping the BC and “searching “ for the clip.

 

[kastuk]

100000% agree with everyone that you need to bring this to both your instructor and shop. A strategic comment to the student like “let’s be careful when doing the clips “ might also be professional and polite.

The rescue course will have hands close to sensitive upper chest areas to unclip the BC, but there is a stark difference between unclipping the BC and “searching “ for the clip.

Yes, and my butt had no clips at all, so there was no rational excuse for that. At first I was talking myself out of the situation "he didn't mean it, it's a rescue, people have to touch you" but through this thread I realized that I am doing myself a disservice. He acted fully inappropriately and grossly in a way that disregarded my safety and comfort, and I will report it. It's a learning experience

 

[BoltSnap]

Yes, and my butt had no clips at all, so there was no rational excuse for that. At first I was talking myself out of the situation "he didn't mean it, it's a rescue, people have to touch you" but through this thread I realized that I am doing myself a disservice. He acted fully inappropriately and grossly in a way that disregarded my safety and comfort, and I will report it. It's a learning experience

I have taught in co-ed institutions, as an independent instructor at the local Y, and as a dive shop owner in the US. There are many jerks out there who think it is either "funny" or a clever "manly" thing to do to touch an unsuspecting woman during class. I even heard some boasts about it after class with their male buddies. There are many sickos out there. If I were her father, I would have cut their throat. That's what I would do here in Libya.