I am having 'issues' with my spouse over wanting to continue scuba diving (long)

[Dee]

Louie once bubbled...
Sadly, I have yet to meet a woman doing something similar.

Louie...I frequently take dive trips on my own without Beast. He sometimes can't get off work and a really good deal come along so I go by myself....usually at his urging. But it's not unusual for me to find a real spur of the minute deal so I'll call him at work and say "See ya Sunday!"

For years we had seperate hobbies and interests...Beast liked hunting/guns and I quilted/sewed. We each supported the others choices and encouraged each other to enjoy them but other than me attending an occasional hunting show or he attending a quilting show, we rarely participated in each others hobbies. And we drew apart, each with our own set of friends and activities.

Then he came home from work one day and said "We're going to be scuba divers!" Our lives, public and private, changed that day. Seven years later we are closer, better friends, and our marriage couldn't be better. He hasn't been hunting and I haven't quilted in years...neither of us has the desire to do so....and we haven't missed the old seperate way of life.

I know of several relationships with a non-diving SO but they take alot of work, sacrifice and dedication on both parts.

 

[Amanda]

Hello

Just wanted to say that I find it all a bit exagerated... I've been fanatically diving for more than 3 years now, been living under the same roof with my b/f for 1 and a half year now...

And not a single problem... I think what makes me happy makes him happy, and the reverse is also true, of course...

Why all this resentment ? I didn't even ever thought about that...

 

[o2 clean]

I'm single, and whomever may stroll into my life needs to accept the fact that I will be diving, with or without him (if he isn't a diver). It's all about an understanding. If your s/o who isn't a diver can't accept that fact, what does that tell you? I'm sure if you talk about it and not use up ALL your free time diving, things would work out.

 

[Dr. Jay]

Well, I pretty much dragged my girlfriend down to get certified. She was worried about the equalization thing too, as well as some giant fish eating her :shark:

Once she got in the pool she got over it real quick. She had a little bit of trouble descending to 30ft in OW for the checkouts, but that's what the descent line is for. Maybe some perscription sinus medicine would help. Diving is so much fun - and relaxing! I'm sure if you keep trying, you might be able to spark an interest.

P.S. - I'm finishing my undergrad this semester - I know all about being broke

Good luck

 

[Diver Lori]

I think it all boils down to how comfortable your spouse/sig is with your doing something without him/her. How confident are they in themselves to let you go do something without them is the issue.

For example, my ex was an avid cyclist. I didn't mind at all that he'd do 100 miles plus on a weekend....it gave me the time I wanted to be alone and do other things. (yeah, we're divorced, but cycling wasn't the cause...lol )

Another example....my brother is a diver, but his wife is not...she's too claustrophobic to do it. She is perfectly pleased, happy, giddy, ecstatic to lay on the beach with a book all to herself while he's out doing a morning 2-tank.

Maybe it's just my past experience....but the female half of the relationship seems to be more at ease with this than the male.

Lori

PS: I agree with a previous poster.....the Comal River is a nice place to dive...shallow spring fed river. Your spouse may enjoy snorkeling it while you dive. rolleyes: In fact, my ex cyclist spouse did one of his check dives there.....lol)

 

[GTADiver]

Friggincold once bubbled...
Not what you were looking for, but I know allot of divers(men and women) who have been divorced over this sport. Moderation for you will be the key. Don't think your going to go diving every weekend and not pay for it Good Luck and Dive safe

My wife said she would leave me if I go diving one more time...Gee I am sure going to miss her!

Been there....got the t-shirt

 

[Groundhog246]

Diver Lori once bubbled...
I think it all boils down to how comfortable your spouse/sig is with your doing something without him/her.
Maybe it's just my past experience....but the female half of the relationship seems to be more at ease with this than the male.

Jealousy?
My wife had a serious issue with one early dive buddy (female). Took a bit to figure out what the tension was about my diving excursions (her jealousy), easily dispelled when she met the buddy in question and quickly realized it was a strictly diving relationship. Life's much simpler though, now that she dives too.
If your SO is that jealous, I'd suggest dealing with that, as it does NOT make for a good long term relationship.

 

[miked]

I think having a non-diver as a spouse/partner/sig. other etc. is "workable", if the two people work at it.
I do most of my diving on trips (NJ and warm water diving,well....)
So our typical vacation day would consist of me getting up, going to the boat for 2-4 dives, then coming back to the hotel for dinner, etc. My Lady will spend the day shopping, or touring, or at the pool or the beach. We'll have dinner, then relax for a while-take in a show, or hit the casino [depending on where we are], and off to a relatively early bedtime.
This way, we each get to do what we really like to do,and still have time together, to share our experiences. A non-typical day will have us sightseeing together-usually on a day when I only do 2 morning dives.
BTW, she did try a dive-an excellent "resort course" experience, but, for a variety of reasons, decided that it was not for her-but she could see why I love it so much. It is her understanding of that, and her special personality,that makes it work "for us".
It does help that we are each relatively independent, and that we live and work together.
So, to agree with many of the other posters, yes, it can work.
good luck,
Mike

 

[Lawman]

My card.....

 

[seaangel]

I am happily married and also a fanatical diver with a non-diving husband. I decided to become a certified diver almost 2 years ago. My husband likes to snorkel, and not the least bit interested in scuba. We have been together 31 years tommorrow and there is absolutely no resentment from him when I go off on a dive trip without him. Actually, he is very supportive. We vacation together and I will go on a dive while he enjoys an activity of his choice. We spend the rest of the day together doing what we enjoy together. We will snorkel, sail and do other sightseeing activities depending on where we are.

We are going on our annual winter vacation in February, a cruise to Grand Caymen, Roatan, Belize and Cozumel. I will dive only at two of the stops, Grand Caymen and Cozumel, at the other two we will do a river tour, and a sail with snorkeling trip. Think we will have a great time. In Cozumel, we are combining our day with a tour then beach time where I can dive and he can snorkel, use a sunsail or just relax. We are exicited about this trip.

When we are at home I go to the lake or river with other divers and he goes hunting or target shooting. He spends time reloading and rifling work in his shop. Life together does not mean we have to do the same things all the time.

I like to crochet too, but he does not, haven't noticed divorce court on the horizon for that interest. I think marriage and likes and dislikes are what make things interesting. It really is what you put into the time you have together that counts.

Good luck and happy diving.