How to reply to a telemarketer..

[Backtanner]

I just begin to have phone sex with them. Gender irrelevant.

 

[H2Andy]

I stop them immediately and tell them I charge $5 per minute to listen to sales calls and that if they choose to continue with the call that they will be billed accordingly and ask if that is acceptable to them.

This has been tested and works quite well. Most decline but one poor fellow was so flustered he actually gave me his personal credit card number.

:rofl:

 

[CathyI8205]

My sister used to hand the phone to her 3-year-old.

 

[Essroc123]

I ususally reply with:
"why is a mouse when it spins?"
the puzzled silence is way too good.

 

[H2Andy]

"why is a mouse when it spins?"

so as not to rat on its cronies

 

[Dave in PA]

When the folks call selling magazine subscriptions I have them list them. All of them, if I have the time. After 20 minutes or so of me saying Nope, I don't like that one or No, I already get that one, they usually say they can't help me and hang up.

The local waste hauler's phone number and ours has two digits that are reversed from each other. Once their print shop put my number on a flyer. When people would call wanting to know when their trash was going to be picked up we'd just say we were very sorry and would be right over...then hang up. One guy called four times in one day. I told him we already picked it up and to stop putting more out. Once my neighbor called me to call off work. He didn't believe it was me. I did always try to tell them they made a mistake first. If they were nasty I returned the favor...

When a phone company calls, I always work for the other one.

 

[GoBlue!]

A good friend of mine transcribed one particular telemarketer's sales pitch & kept a printed out copy by the phone. When any other telemarketer called, he'd say, "I'm so glad you called, have I got a deal for you..." and then launch into the speech that he had scripted.

Jim

 

[CBulla]

Oh Colin, my fav way to answer the phone sometimes is Hung Low's Chinese Pizza.

NICE!

I've also done the Dr Ruth "Ello, you-R on zee air...." as an answer. When I was a boy, this was great cause Dr Ruth was on TV and when my dad got a call from someone at work, fellow field techs in particular, they would stutter and stammer not knowing how to repsond.

Of course, there is a local tackle shop here that is just the best...

Master Bait and Tackle.. when you call they answer "Master <pause pause> Bait and Tackle, can we help you?"

 

[Tavi]

Sometimes I ask them....

When you were a kid, is this what you wanted to be when you grew up??

 

[Afraid_of_Fish]

These are all very funny replies. I couldn't imagine ever being a telemarketer.. though i expect they do get quite a few good laughs

Jess