How do you manage your non-diving spouse / significant other?

[Web Monkey]

I wanted to ask those who have a non-diving significant other, how do you handle diving and your relationship? Do you find that your dive travel is restricted to dive destinations that have very good topside attractions? Or do you end up dragging your non-diving significant other to places like Bonaire where there is not much other than diving and they are still cool with it? Or once in a while you consider it ok to leave your spouse behind and they are still understanding of your passion?

Like everything else in marriage, a compromise makes everything work better.

We usually take a cruise around the Caribbean in the winter with some friends.

The guys all get together and rent a boat on a bunch of the islands, and the wives go shopping or take a tour from the ship, then everybody is usually back by dinner and we do evening stuff (dinner/dancing/show/whatever).

It's not perfect for everybody, since the guys would like more diving and the wives would like more time with the guys, but it's "pretty good" all the way around, and everybody is usually really happy.

Other options are dive/play spots. Bonaire actually has all sorts of cool non-diving stuff to do (snorkeling, drive through the park, etc.)

Especially being newly married, I wouldn't just ditch her and say "Me and my buddy are going to Fiji, see you in a couple of weeks"

Terry

 

[JohnB47]

My wife doesn't like being IN the water, but she loves being ON the water. She is happy whenever she gets to go for a boat ride. So if I want to go on a boat dive, she is happy to be my "bubble watcher."

 

[RJP]

How do you manage your non-diving spouse / significant other?

We have two non-diving kids. That seems to keep her pretty busy.

 

[vladimir]

Diving and Divorce are next to each other in the phone book

What's a "phone book"? A Kindle book on your iPhone?

 

[FireInMyBones]

My wife does not dive. I only buy the gear I can afford and take her with me to the lake when I can.

 

[princessaprilia]

We have two non-diving kids. That seems to keep her pretty busy.

Wow? :shocked2: She's so lucky.

 

[princessaprilia]

My situation is a bit different. My hubby CAN dive, but he usually only wants to do a couple dives during a trip. I can usually sneak in a couple more, but not as many as if I were alone.

He's also okay with me going on dive trips without him, as long as they don't sound fun. No sun. No 5-star accommodations. No dancing. Preferably lots of bugs. Maybe frostbite. Only allowed to dive with ugly men... etc...




RJP?
Really?

 

[John Bailey]

This are different approaches for different couples and you have to find what works for both of you, or you won't be "managing" her for long.

My wife and kids are certified. I dive a lot and she has her hobby - horses. One kid dives as much as he can find time for, the other is with the horses usually. On vacations, I usually dive more than anyone else but we pick locations that have other things to do. I've not gone to a destination where diving is the only thing to do, although it might have been the only thing I wanted to do! She only likes the warm water diving and a day or two is enough for her and the kids.

Our last trip was to Mexico where I got my cave cert, spending 7 days of the 10 diving. She went sight seeing and spent time around the pool etc. Works for both of us.

I think some dive only vacations are in the future for me, but will be done with friends.

 

[robint]

you said that she can't dive because she can't equalize.... is this a medical evaluation, or did she try it once in class and give up? Was it a temporary congestion issue or permanent? Or was it just an excuse not to finish the class? Was she taught how to do it properly by an instructor? Some people definitely have a problem with equalizing, small ear passages, etc. but they can still do it with proper instruction and taking a bit longer to descend. I know I didn't have a problem at all for several years, then I got a bad ear infection after a dive trip... after that I have had problems occasionally.

Getting back to your original question - we don't have that issue because we both dive. BUT we see it all the time, every boat we get on we see guys or gals dealing with the issue. We always have someone tell us every dive trip how lucky we are to have a diving spouse, too. Some of them seem to have adapted and go on trips with spouse but limit their dives (at request of non-diving spouse) and others go on trips alone or with another diver. We met several guys on the Nekton liveaboard back in 2005 who were all in that situation - their non-diving spouse only allowed them one dive trip per year so they always did a liveaboard in order to maximize their bottom time.

robin

 

[SkimFisher]

Easy! I don't have one!

Pretty much all of my dive buddies have wives and I can see the sadness in their eyes when they can't dive.