1. I don’t know anything about cold water diving so I’ll defer to you on that point.If someone is diving alone, in a thick wetsuit in deep water and the suit has undergone 15-20 lbs worth of compression, then there is absolutely a need to drop some lead at depth. Unless of course you have a rope, slope or smb line to climb up. To say something is "never" applicable is rarely correct if you are dealing with some particular set of circumstances. Drowning is much worse the the bends.
If you daughter is diving with a near empty tank, with little wetsuit and she ascended without incident with you hauling her up and keeping a constant physical contact with her... neither proves your point, nor provides assurance that your daughter would have handled the situation adequately on her own. Of course, I think YOU did the exact proper thing in that situation, but again, that is not the point.
The fact that she was completely unaware of the important bc failure is somewhat disconcerting. IF she were alone, and did not notice and kept trying to inflate BC and kept trying to kick up, she could easily have over exerted herself, blown through her air (wasting it repeatedly on failed attempt to inflate) and then got herself into a bad situation. Low or no air, being heavy, no BC and out of breath and tired at depth -
Being able to drop a 6 lb weightbelt sure sounds like a good plan C or D at a time like that.
2. Who said anything about hauling her up? I had been on her right side the whole length of the dive until we started the ascent. At that time, I saw her disconnected hose and put my hand on her as a safeguard. She managed her own ascent.
3. I found it reassuring, not disconcerting, that she didn’t notice the failure during the dive. It meant she was managing depth changes with breath control without adding and dumping air. And it meant she was properly weighted. She did say afterward she wondered why she didn’t have to bleed air during her ascent because she has added a little on her descent.