Haven't read it all, but will throw in my 2 cents. I've always worn a 7 mil farmer john. Was gifted a new (used) one last year which was really easy to don & doff. Figured no good, not snug enough. After a dive, mitts off, lots of water flowed out the sleeves--logically a lot more water somewhere in there for my body to heat up. But, I was no colder/warmer than with the old piece of crap that was much tighter and obnoxious putting on & off. We're talking about water in the low 40s. I'm not gunna argue physics when something works. Perhaps just getting a decent 7 mil farmer john may work for you?
Side note: I think I recall reading that being still in cold water doesn't make you colder. In fact, I think being more active may--the reverse of on land. Something to do with you're body heating the water between you and the wetsuit quicker and that heat being sucked away quicker by the outside water to be replaced with new cold water. I may be off on this.