neonstingray
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Hey guys,
I just had a fight with my girlfriend because she says I pressure her too much about the dive planning and safety procedures she goes through. To start, I've been certified for the past 7 years (naui adv past 5 years), but have only done about 15 dives total. I'm 20 and she's 19. I recently got her interested though, especially since she lives in puerto rico. I live in phily which is why my diving opportunities are limited even though I adore it. The beginning of the summer she got her padi open water cert with her mom, then later went diving twice with me while I was down there.
Now she and her mom are doing the advanced cert and she just came back from their second day of open water diving. When I asked how deep they went she said 100 feet. I was instantly a little concerned, since this is definitely below the depth of a padi advanced ow checkout, and because they didn't have computers either. She said they were at that depth for less than 10 min and did 2 safety stops, but I still asked her whether they had planned to go that deep, whether they had checked the tables personally before-hand for that depth (versus relying on the instructor), and whether they had accounted for ongassing at the slightly shallower depths than 100 feet.
She said yes to all this, and then started getting upset that I always ask her these kinds of questions after her dives. She said I really look like I don't have confidence in her, and that I'm the experienced diver who always knows whats best. I told her before though that one of the reasons I was excited for her was because since she lives in a great dive spot she'd quickly get much more experience than I have. And during the argument I said even if she was the greatest diver to have ever lived, in the midst of my meager experience I think I'd still be justified in asking her how safe she was being. But then she countered that by saying there are a bunch of things we do in our lives like driving a car that are considerably dangerous without asking each other things such as did we buckle our seat belts, or did we look both ways before crossing the street. I guess I don't really know which argument is more valid.
I said though, disregarding who's right or wrong, I don't see why her answering my questions is that much to ask if even just to put me at ease. I guess I've resigned myself to being the kind of person who doesn't want to screw over their life not by staying away from any activity or experiance that could be dangerous, but by experiencing them while stressing the most out of the safety, even if it becomes excessive. Especially after reading so many of those 'lessons for life' articles in rodale's, I've become aware of not the fact that anything can go wrong, but just how many things there are on the list of any things that could go wrong. Furthermore, the incident in which my instructor's instructor ended his life by going alone into a cave and never being seen again constantly reminds me that even your instructor can't be your ultimate life-line.
I've always been fascinated by tech. diving (hoping to pursue it someday so I can enjoy some nice wreck dives up here on the jersey coast
) and I try to never forget that one foundation rule to remind that the ocean can sometimes be merciless even to experience or cauion - 'Anyone can die at anytime, for any reason.' I guess I try to hold onto that idea even for simple rec. dives. Maybe I am being too excessive though. Of course, I suppose there's no way to know which one of us really is right, or whether its more of a compromise. So I thought I'd just get this out here and see what you guys thought.
BTW, minds are good at being biased towards their own story, so I probably have left out something my girlfriend would call very relevant. Just a disclaimer
Thanks,
Austin
I just had a fight with my girlfriend because she says I pressure her too much about the dive planning and safety procedures she goes through. To start, I've been certified for the past 7 years (naui adv past 5 years), but have only done about 15 dives total. I'm 20 and she's 19. I recently got her interested though, especially since she lives in puerto rico. I live in phily which is why my diving opportunities are limited even though I adore it. The beginning of the summer she got her padi open water cert with her mom, then later went diving twice with me while I was down there.
Now she and her mom are doing the advanced cert and she just came back from their second day of open water diving. When I asked how deep they went she said 100 feet. I was instantly a little concerned, since this is definitely below the depth of a padi advanced ow checkout, and because they didn't have computers either. She said they were at that depth for less than 10 min and did 2 safety stops, but I still asked her whether they had planned to go that deep, whether they had checked the tables personally before-hand for that depth (versus relying on the instructor), and whether they had accounted for ongassing at the slightly shallower depths than 100 feet.
She said yes to all this, and then started getting upset that I always ask her these kinds of questions after her dives. She said I really look like I don't have confidence in her, and that I'm the experienced diver who always knows whats best. I told her before though that one of the reasons I was excited for her was because since she lives in a great dive spot she'd quickly get much more experience than I have. And during the argument I said even if she was the greatest diver to have ever lived, in the midst of my meager experience I think I'd still be justified in asking her how safe she was being. But then she countered that by saying there are a bunch of things we do in our lives like driving a car that are considerably dangerous without asking each other things such as did we buckle our seat belts, or did we look both ways before crossing the street. I guess I don't really know which argument is more valid.
I said though, disregarding who's right or wrong, I don't see why her answering my questions is that much to ask if even just to put me at ease. I guess I've resigned myself to being the kind of person who doesn't want to screw over their life not by staying away from any activity or experiance that could be dangerous, but by experiencing them while stressing the most out of the safety, even if it becomes excessive. Especially after reading so many of those 'lessons for life' articles in rodale's, I've become aware of not the fact that anything can go wrong, but just how many things there are on the list of any things that could go wrong. Furthermore, the incident in which my instructor's instructor ended his life by going alone into a cave and never being seen again constantly reminds me that even your instructor can't be your ultimate life-line.
I've always been fascinated by tech. diving (hoping to pursue it someday so I can enjoy some nice wreck dives up here on the jersey coast
) and I try to never forget that one foundation rule to remind that the ocean can sometimes be merciless even to experience or cauion - 'Anyone can die at anytime, for any reason.' I guess I try to hold onto that idea even for simple rec. dives. Maybe I am being too excessive though. Of course, I suppose there's no way to know which one of us really is right, or whether its more of a compromise. So I thought I'd just get this out here and see what you guys thought.BTW, minds are good at being biased towards their own story, so I probably have left out something my girlfriend would call very relevant. Just a disclaimer
Thanks,
Austin
